Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Where no man has gone before...

Too many people, when listing all the perils to be found in the search for lost treasure or ancient wisdom, had forgotten to put at the top of the list 'the man who arrived just before you'.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero)

Early this morning before I passed out from the painkillers, I had the opportunity to introduce a pilot to my Rifter inside the Gusandall 2/10 plex. It appeared he was in the third room. I grabbed some keys and headed on out. As expected the Thrasher was in the third room as I warped in. This was the Thrasher that managed to escape when my modules went ape shit. Guns and rocket launcher primed as my warp scrambler kicks in, web locks him down tight as I hold a steady orbit. No need for fancy flying at this point. His shields already gone I start to chew into his armour. In seconds it's gone and shortly after his structure melts. Escape pod is left at my mercy and as I said earlier, I have none. Pilot was none to pleased to be so violently interupted.

I called it a night and went to bed.

After having spent much of the day watching movies, going out for coffee and generally lazing about I popped in to my hangar to see what the local comms net could reveal. A friend reported a Coercer inside the Plex and I grabbed some key cards and headed on out in the Rifter. I warped into the first room and nothing, my directional scanner showing the mark inside the second room, I headed to the gate and warped in and there it was, a Coercer, piloted by the same Thrasher pilot from this morning. Kane being Kane would never let such an opportunity pass and I engaged. The Ammarian destroyer was destroyed without breaking a sweat but the pilot managed to get his escape pod out this time.

What follows is the local comms chatter directly after his violent extradition from his ship

NCC 1701E > wtf dude
Kane Rizzel > :P
NCC 1701E > u r realy that bent on killing me
NCC 1701E > ur a fucked retard
Kane Rizzel > why thank you
Kane Rizzel > you're not a special snowflake, you're just a fictim of circumstance and evolution
NCC 1701E > r u retarded?
Kane Rizzel > If I'm retarded, what does that make you?
NCC 1701E > fictim learn to spell
NCC 1701E > its victim
NCC 1701E > BL;OACKED
Kane Rizzel > lol
Kane Rizzel > sore loser
Kane Rizzel > fits ac's to a coercer too

Granted I spelt "victim" wrong but it made me giggle.

Too bad I'm "BL;OACKED", not sure how I'm going to recover.

The new Jaguar has a name courtesy of Venom Orchid.

Space Cowboy, long may you violence

8 comments:

Andrew said...

If he's going to nit-pick about spelling, let's go over the list of his infractions: "u", "r", "realy", BL;OACKED".

Nice work killing him, what a tard. Stupid name, too.

Mynxee said...

You're a funny man, Kane. Ya make me giggle.

Gremrod said...

Was this in FW bunker or in low sec? And if this was either, then I would like to know what else he thought would happen.

venomofhellcats said...

Out frickin' standing!!! Go Space Cowboy, kill......

Flashfresh said...

This made me smile - as ever, Kane is the standard that solo pirates should measure themselves against.


LOL@ R U Retarded question?
F

Ga'len said...

NCC is an interesting person. We have come across him before back when he was a total noob. Here's his stats on our killboard: http://www.nspta.net/?a=pilot_detail&plt_id=40514. As you can see, he's an interesting fellow.

I had come across him before, back in my days before I was a compelte outlaw. I popped his Dominix with my Ishkur after he stole loot from me (http://www.eve-druid.com/2008/04/20/omfg-you-popped-what-with-your-ishkur/)

He used to hang around our pocket a lot, thinking he was an uber pirate. We got so irritated with him we decided to have some fun. I went and made a movie about it one afternoon as we all needed to laugh (http://www.eve-druid.com/2008/06/27/inside-joke/).

I am sorry that you have crossed paths with him, he's a total noob.

Ombey said...

Oh the irony....delicious. Nothing funnier then someone correcting someone's spelling then cocking their own up.

Nevaryzarc said...

i really wish someone that was using the NCC 1701E designation for the Enterprise wasn't such an idiot.

nice kill kane