Tuesday 1 March 2011

Jams and Preserves

The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This is a fact well known even to Corporal Nobbs. It's also wrong. There's a fifth element, and generally it's called Surprise.
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

Some folk will go to extra-ordinary lengths to get a kill.

Editors note: The game logs have been edited as there was a lot of frustrated button pushing by Kane which made them pretty much unreadable, the important information has been left intact.


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Gamelog
Listener: Kane Rizzel
Session started: 2011.03.01 17:48:19
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One of the Dramiel pilots from last night is spotted entering Eifer in a Republic Fleet Firetail, I board Sgt Angua and head on over the the plex as I'm certain he is back for revenge.

Sure as a bear shits in the woods, he enters Gusandall and warps straight to the plex. He lands, I target and the fight kicks off...

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:40 ] (notify) For initiating combat your security status has been adjusted by -0.1215.
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:41 ] (combat) Your group of Light Neutron Blaster II hits DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail), doing 426.3 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:42 ] (notify) You have started trying to warp scramble DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail).

He engages me, as expected, he came here for this...

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:43 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) lightly hits you, doing 129.8 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:46 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) aims well at you, inflicting 215.9 damage.


What happens next though was not expected and to be fucking honest it caught me off guard...

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:46 ] (notify) Domination Warp Scrambler deactivates because its target, the cure, is not locked.
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:46 ] (notify) Federation Navy Stasis Webifier deactivates because its target, the cure, is not locked.


Wait, what? ECM? You have got to be fucking having a bubble*

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:48 ] (notify) You are already managing 0 targets, as many as your ship's electronics are capable of.
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:48 ] (notify) You are already managing 0 targets, as many as your ship's electronics are capable of.


I start furiously mashing the console to lock...

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:49 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) hits you, doing 135.6 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:49 ] (notify) Approaching the cure


He's hitting hard, maybe approach isn't the wisest option, maybe try get some range till you can lock?

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:51 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) hits you, doing 148.6 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:53 ] (notify) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) has started trying to warp scramble you!
[ 2011.03.01 17:50:53 ] (notify) You are already managing 0 targets, as many as your ship's electronics are capable of.


Yes, I fucking know I can lock exactly zero and fuckall...

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:54 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) aims well at you, inflicting 175.4 damage.

I'm still hitting lock like a crazed monkey on PCP as the Firetail goes about the business of dismantling the newly rebuilt Sgt Angua...

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:57 ] (notify) You are already managing 0 targets, as many as your ship's

...

[ 2011.03.01 17:50:58 ] (notify) You are already managing 0 targets, as many as your ship's electronics are capable of.


I'm starting to get annoyed...

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:00 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) aims well at you, inflicting 168.5 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:00 ] (notify) You are already managing 0 targets, as many as your ship's electronics are capable of.


YES, I FUCKING KNOW!

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:03 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) places an excellent hit on you, inflicting 222.5 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:06 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) hits you, doing 136.6 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:09 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) barely scratches you, causing 48.3 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:11 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) places an excellent hit on you, inflicting 309.8 damage.


Still mashing the lock button, I'm pleased to see the countdown to resolution, I close the gap...

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:11 ] (notify) Approaching the cure
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:14 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) hits you, doing 153.9 damage.


He's still hitting me, Sgt Angua deep in armour, but the hammer drops

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:15 ] (combat) Your group of Light Neutron Blaster II places an excellent hit on DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail), inflicting 617.2 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:17 ] (combat) DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail) barely scratches you, causing 97.1 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:17 ] (combat) Your group of Light Neutron Blaster II hits DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail), doing 460.1 damage.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:19 ] (combat) Your group of Light Neutron Blaster II hits DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Republic Fleet Firetail), doing 418.3 damage.


[ 2011.03.01 17:51:21 ] (notify) Targeting attempt failed as the designated object is no longer present.
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:21 ] (notify) Targeting attempt failed as the designated object is no longer present.


Did he just get another jam? Or did he just fucking warp off?

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:21 ] (notify) Approaching the cure

He still appears on my overview so I try approach and relock...

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:21 ] (notify) Republic Fleet Firetail has just left Gusandall as of ago
[ 2011.03.01 17:51:22 ] (notify) Targeting attempt failed as the designated object is no longer present.


Oh... He exploded, best try and lock that pod Mr Rizzel...

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:25 ] (notify) Approaching DEATH RIGHTS' Capsule

[ 2011.03.01 17:51:29 ] (notify) You have started trying to warp scramble DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Capsule).


With the pod tackled, I offer him terms...

Kane Rizzel > 250mil
Kane Rizzel > just for the ecm
DEATH RIGHTS > lol
DEATH RIGHTS > was worth a try


250 was a touch steep and I'm in a good mood (or maybe it's the painkillers)

Kane Rizzel > hehe
Kane Rizzel > 50mil and we call it a day
Kane Rizzel > ?
DEATH RIGHTS > i dont have it sorry

[ 2011.03.01 17:52:33 ] (notify) For participating in the podding of DEATH RIGHTS your security status has been adjusted by -3.0375.
[ 2011.03.01 17:52:33 ] (combat) Your group of Light Neutron Blaster II hits DEATH RIGHTS [LOTP](Capsule), doing 444.3 damage.


Pay the man or buy a new brain as I always say.

DeathStar > lol <3> Kane
Kane Rizzel > Bounty payment
From: CONCORD
Sent: 2011.03.01 17:53

For your termination of DEATH RIGHTS we have paid you the bounty that was set to his head: 1,005,000.00 ISK

Kane Rizzel > fucker jammed me twice
DeathStar > =(
DeathStar > bet he wishes his pod had ecm
Kane Rizzel > http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=9031210 cheeky bugger



*Having a Bubble means Having a Laugh in Cockney rhyming slang (Bubble bath = Laugh) It is to be noted that Kane is neither Cockney, nor is he British, he just likes to sound like a geezer.

4 comments:

LADY SHANIQUA said...

wow what a massive faggot.
I'm glad you managed to successfully make violence on him.

Theo d'or said...

Fok hom op,boet.

Anonymous said...

oh fail
if only he looked it up, he'd realized daredevils use gallente sensors... so blue jammers, not orange
and i have to say, m8, if he did you would have ben royally screwed
ant

blaad said...

Wrong race unbonused jammers and 2 jams. Seriously the fucking ECM needs a nerf.