Old smokey with extra cheese and mushrooms

Greebo could, in fact, commit sexual harrassment simply by sitting very quietly in the next room.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Maskerade)

These kills brought to you by Dorn Val and Malande, muchos gracias.

My Daredevil has been rebuilt, due to donations received from Dorn and Malande. I was toying with the idea of using the ISK for something else, but what else is more fun than flying a frigate that melts faces.

I have retired the Sgt Angua moniker for the time being, it served me well but it's time for a new breed of Daredevil, something a little more fitting to its devastation, Greebo be thy name.

Flea bitten, with scars all over his face and his partially present ears he is a huge swaggering bully of a cat - renowned for once chasing a bear up a tree. He has one green eye and one which is milky white, he is intelligent for a cat but uses three categories to define the things he sees as "rape, fight or eat." This is the cat that Nanny Ogg refers to as "Mr. Puss-puss," and sees, in her head, as a cute little bundle of fluff - yet everyone else calls "gerroffyerbugger!!!"

Greebo's maiden flight took me to my spiritual home, Eifer, and whilst there he had his maiden kill, a ratting Caracal. Not too difficult a prey, but something to sharpen his claws on.

Greebo is ready for a test, it comes in the shape of the Black Rebel Rifter Club. I like these guys, there are three of them, a Claw interceptor, a Republic Fleet Firetail and a Caldari Navy Hookbill. A fearsome combination and one I'd do well to steer clear of but then steering has never been my strong point.

I warp in at range to belt 1, I would need to split them up as going toe to toe with all three would be too much for even Greebo to handle. Hookbill warps in at zero, loiters for a bit before I try to draw him to the 2/10. They don't follow so I warp back to belt 1, but above zero. Firetail is at 100, then warps to planet three, scanner shows two of the trio there so I warp at fifty. Claw and Hookbill on site, fifty clicks away, a choice needed to be made, the Hookbill carries a tracking disruptor whilst the Claw would probably be the biggest threat damage wise.

In the end the choice was made by the meta level of the ship, the Claw was primaried, everything else is a blur as Claw goes down, Hookbill up next, I close sharply, tracking disruptor means very little when you're climbing right up their tailpipe.

Once the threat of the Hookbill had been vanquished, all attention was turned to the Firetail. I shatter the shields, the fight about to be over but a curious thing happens, it doesn't just explode? Plated? Had to be.

I'm at about 10% armor as the Firetail finally drops, I was starting to get nervous, Greebo is only a few hours old, too soon to lose, but he stands proud over the field of battle, planet 3 Gusandall, RIFTA vs NOVAK, one man standing.

Oh, and my Pizza arrived just as the fight finished :P

Great fight RIFTA, I like your style o7

Went on a roam later with the M34N guys in this:

Repping the reps

DOH!

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
-- Schrodinger's Moggy explained
(Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies)

After soloing a Rail Megathron in my Daredevil, I derped and lost it trying to solo a Loki, I screwed up, lost transversal and exploded.

I'm rather upset with myself :(

I'm also now taking donations to replace her, mods, hull, ISK, whatever you can spare. Be part of the Rizzel legacy, donate today

Ransom ignored, ship destroyed, bad loot drops, good loot drops and capital deployment

Greebo's technique was unscientific and wouldn't have stood a chance against any decent swordmanship, but on his side was the fact that it is almost impossible to develop decent swordmanship when you seem to have run into a food mixer that is biting your ear off.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)

Mere seconds after I tackled a Kestrel at planet 3 in Gusandall...

Sneaky Friend > Probes out, I'll have a warp in for you in a few seconds
Kane Rizzel > Warp in for what?
Sneaky Friend >The Tengu on scan! You've not spotted it?
Kane Rizzel > Not really, no, I was busy tracking this Kestrel
Commando Jaxx > Hey Kane, you want to help clear up some litter in Gus?
Kane Rizzel > Litter?
Commando Jaxx > An offline POS that some folk tried to set up
Kane Rizzel > Yeah, you're breaking up, must be solar flares bouncing off Uranus or something
Commando Jaxx > Haha, very funny, I know you hate POS shots but there isn't much else to do
Kane Rizzel > Speak for yourself, I'm chilling... Killing... And just about to make this Tengu's day a lot more interesting.

I had docked my Rifter with the loot from the Kestrel, nothing spectacular but probably worth something melted down and sold to the bottom feeders in one of the trade hubs. It only took a few seconds to board Flubber and head on out, as my sneaky friend had already got a warp in and confirmed the target still inside what was a 5/10 rated exploration complex.

Kane Rizzel > Groovy, let's rock

I activate the gate, everything overloaded in case the target is out of range of tackle but as I burst out of warp he has conveniently not strayed too far away and it's a quick pulse of my propulsion mod before I'm in range and start firing with the Tengu firmly scrammed and webbed.

I attempt to open comms to deliver my terms:

Kane Rizzel > Good evening sir, might I offer you the one time offer of a ransom of 750meellion ISK and you are free to go on your merry?

...

Kane Rizzel > 750mil, nice and cheap... Or you could eject and save yourself some schooling.

...

Kane Rizzel > Very well then, fire at Will it is then, I do feel sorry for Will, he gets shot at all the bloody time.

This is how the terms would have been offered had the hapless Tengu pilot answered the convo request, as it was, I settled for the kill and it happened without any fuss.

The Loot gods didn't smile on me as the most valuable item went up in smoke with the rest of the ship, but I had the loot safely secured in my Cargo and then asked my Cousin if he'd like to finish the 5/10.

Kane Rizzel > Hey cuz, you want to make some ISK
Kenny Rizzel > Always :)

So I gave him the details and left him to it. I joined Jaxx at the POS, set up by an old friend of sorts, Kerjin.

Our two Battleships were going to take an age to drop the tower, even as it's defences were all dormant, so yet another call to a family member went out and Keira agreed to deploy the corp Moros to aid in the take-down and make it go by a damn side quicker. Along the way we were joined by an alliance mate of Jaxx' but after three siege cycles the tower vanished from Gusandall space forever.

All the while Kenny had completed the plex and scored the very same afterburner that got destroyed in the Tengu., 400 odd mil in our pockets :D

Life is good :)

ISK is ISK

Quote #64.

If it wasn't for the fun and money, I really don't know why I'd bother.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

A quick hunt in a Thrasher, I track and tackle a Wreathe industrial ship in Eifer, nothing else of note in the area sees me decide to ransom straight away, not really interested in killing an industrial

EVE System > Channel changed to Eifer Local Channel
Kane Rizzel > what's your ship worth to you?
Alexia Serventine > about 400000
Kane Rizzel > 1million isk and you are free to go
Alexia Serventine > cool kill me bitch
Alexia Serventine > ship is worth 450000

So I explode his ship and tackle the escape pod

Kane Rizzel > what about your pod?
Kane Rizzel > 1 meeeelllion isk

At this point he logs all critical systems.

So I explode his pod and scoop the corpse

EVE System > Channel MOTD: BEING IN THIS CHANNEL DOES NOT MAKE YOU SAFE!! NBSI IS USED FOR ALL!!!! fly smart - think hard
XXXX > lol Kane.. 1mil, rather pointless.. no?
Kane Rizzel > he's a noob
Kane Rizzel > was only a wreathe
Kane Rizzel > he's logged too :(
XXXX > lol
Kane Rizzel > million isk is a million isk man
Kane Rizzel > just spent more in ammo than the loot is worth :(

A net loss as a tech 2 miner thingamabob and a survey scannerwhateverthefuck is all that drops.

Why does this concern me, well you'd think being a somewhat notorious Pirate and part-time celebrity, I'd have people throwing ISK at me, but this is not the case and whilst I am space rich, I could always do with more ISK, especially at the misfortune of others and every ISK counts, from the smallest ransoms to useless loot melted for minerals. I am after all, a Pirate.

If anyone feels like donating an Aeon to the NovaKane fleet, I won't say no by the by ;)

Tapping my fingers in frustration.

On Earth, No-one Can Hear You Say "Um".
-- (Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind)

I've been busy, far too busy but it hasn't stopped me thinking about violence and ways I can inflict it on others.

I had the hangar crew build a Thrasher class destroyer, short range, plenty of punch but not much survivability. I was eager to test the setup and undocked even as my crew chief warned me not to go out until the last rig was delivered, but lately my impatience has gotten the better of me.

A Griffin is in the direction of my favourite hunting ground, I initiate warp and soon land with the Griffin just activating the gate. I follow and engage...

...And then I sat for four full ECM cycles and watched, as first my shields, then my armour and finally my hull get destroyed.

Well played sir.

Instinct and the Brain

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Two Cynabals in Gusandall pique my interest, a challenge after a long day of nothing. I undock Flubber and warp one hundred clicks off belt 1-1, after a few minutes both Cyabals warp in at zero, I mention in local that one maybe, two... No.

So I warp to a safespot, onboard scanner shows a legion on scan too but doesn't look to be affiliated. My Brain shuts down and Instinct takes over, I warp to 1-1 at zero. Brain is shouting at Instinct "Are you fucking retarded?"

Instinct doesn't listen as he locks on the closest Cynabal and closes in, webbed and scrammed the Cynabal engages back, along with his friend. Instinct is having an awesome time, he engages with everything, overloads his guns and starts to go deep into armour but the first Cynabal is not having a good day as he explodes.

Intinct now turns his attention to the second Cyna, but his guns have melted cause Instinct doesn't pay attention to the small details, meanwhile, Brain is literally face-palming "You're such an idiot.

Instinct isn't done yet as he gets out of warp disruptor range and warps to the station to repair.

Once repaired he undocks and warps right back to the belt, not paying attention to the scanner that now shows the first Cynabal pilot back in a Loki and a Tempest joining the hostiles.

Brain asks "What are you trying to prove?"
Instinct doesn't answer, he can't really speak, he just does.

Second Cynabal is still in the belt, Instinct engages, and is doing rather well, one Cynabal no match for his mighty Flubber. Without much hassle he takes the Cyna into deep armour but by then the Cynabal's friends have landed, engaged, so Instinct makes moves to bail, Cynabal moves out of range and warps out. Instinct is victorious, a masterful display of piloting... And then he explodes, 60 odd clicks away from any hostiles.

Instinct doesn't understand, Brain just says "ArtyPest you muppet"

Instinct is at least smart enough to warp the pod out to safety.

An associate warps in to try grab some loot but suffers the same fate as Flubber, but at least the MWD died with her Cheetah.

Brain finally gets control again, as Instinct is feeling rather sheepish, Brain just says "You killed one, well fucking done, cookie for you, but did you have to go lose the bloody ship?"

Instinct doesn't reply :(

Do Rifters dream of Titan killmails?

The Patrician was a pragmatist. He never tried to fix things that worked. Things that didn't work, however, got broken.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The Garbage Man, a Rifter built from loot, every aspect of him from from his hull and rigs built from the fallen before the guns of his predecessors. I love the Rifter so much, it was the first ship I aimed for as a new Capsuleer all those years ago and the one I always turn to when violence is on the menu.

Now, there's a group of pilots out there, who's very corp name is all about the Rifter, run by Miura Bull over at Brutor Bullfighter, the Black Rebel Rifter Club. I've seen one or two of these pilots running through the area as of late but always just passing through. This evening however a Rifter lingered in system too long and it piqued my interest.

The Garbage Man undocks, scanner looking, hoping for a direction. First call is the 2/10, so often a haven for frigate combat, but I pass the Rifter in warp. I land and warp in regardless, maybe I can be the hunted. I narrow the scan and point it in the direction of the acceleration gate, the Rifter appears, but warps away towards the station.. I warp towards the belt closest to station, at zero I land, fifty clicks away as the Rifter warps to the furthest belt from the gates, I follow at zero and land fifty clicks away again, just to see the Rifter warp out to another belt, I naturally follow but this time at fifty.

I land right on top of the Rifter, lock him up and prime tackle, for some reason The Garbage man loses lock and I re-acquire the target but he is shooting me and opening a sizable gap.

A kiting Rifter...

Tackle overloaded, the Rifter is fast, even webbed and scrammed he's running 600m/s, comfortable outpacing me. I surmise afterburner, overdrive and web, meaning if I get close, he will die as he has no tank.

He's hitting hard though, massive volley damage... ARTILLERY?
Damn son, a challenge, finally.

I'm deep in armour, I overload my afterburner, forcing The Garbage Man closer, collision course set, one of us is going to explode, so might as well take destiny on head first. Meter by meter I edge closer, no use trying to get under tracking, this was a flat footed fist fight, two mighty warships slugging it out to the bitter end and what a glorious end.

The Garbage Man is close to structure as his 150s, almost melting as they furiously spit death across the narrow gap between the two Rifters, one of which buckles under the onslaught.

From bow to stern, fissures open up as the Rifter hull crumples, stripped of armour she is now at the mercy of the very space surrounding her, atmosphere and fuel being vented through the cracks, ignited by sparks and burning, exploding, bits of Rifter raining against Rifter, one standing, the other defeated.

Good Fight is shared on local comms, truly it was and one of the better Rifter vs Rifter fights I've been in for a long ole time. I like his fit, something different and it definitely surprised me.