I'm going to kill you, you do know this?

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

A Rifter, seemingly innocuous bounces the belts in Gusandall, it's hard to scan him down as he constantly moves. What the hell is he doing? He's not ratting as I warp to one or two belts where he looked to have been and the Angel Cartel rats are still doing their thing, no wrecks, just a belt and no Rifter. I take a moment to start to study his pattern and try to warp ahead of him.

I burst out of warp into an empty asteroid belt and wait, I prime my tackling gear and just as expected the Rifter warps in... 100clicks away, I swing my Rifter around and punch the MWD, acceleration barely felt in my capsule but I hit just over 3km/s. The kilometres count down as I close and he starts to move away, my MWD working over capacity as it starts to overheat, my tackling gear set to overheat as I want every bit of range I can muster. I close very quickly now and in an instant am right on top of him, my lock resolves and all systems kick in, He locks back but does not engage... strange... and then he warps off...

STAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSS!!!!!! I shout in local comms channels

My left hand starts to throb from punching the command console, the Rifter warps to the station at 100km and just sits there.

Well, this is annoying, I've had a bad day, it's hot, need to get the enviroment controls sorted but first I'm going to dock. I message ahead for my deck crew to ready a 2 point warp scrambler, I was now determined to catch this pilot or my name isn't Kane Rizzel.

It takes only moments for the guys to fit the equipment and I once again undock, Gusandall and Eifer having seen some action earlier as the locals clashed with some other Pirates. The blobs were moving through, an early start to the weekend but I can be so narrow minded at times and this one was such a time.

Rifter. Must. Die!

I sit at a safespot and start to study his movements once again, he's changed, more erratic, might have something to do with a Hawk chasing him. I sit and watch my scanner, narrow arcs sweeping Gusandall's night sky as I try and piece together a pattern. The Hawk has stopped chasing him and he starts his original course, I warp one ahead and wait at 50km.

Damn I'm good, he warps in at 100 once more and now only 50 clicks to close. By now Keira has returned from Amarr space where she has taken a delivery of some significance to NovaKane Inc. She has boarded her Claymore and moved to a Command safespot. My friend in her covops is sitting high above the station feeding me intel.

With Keira's command bonuses I'm on top of the Rifter in seconds, my 2 point warp scrambler kicks in as lock resolves, my guns spin up... HAHAHAHA, I have you know...

Where'd he go?

Oh for fuck's sake, he has at least two warp core stabs and you all just know how I respond to that... don't you?

My right hand joins my left hand in throbbing, that poor command console is going to need some repairs, but at least it's gotten slightly cooler, that last punch scaring the enviromental controls into action.

So, three low slots on a Rifter, at least two stabs, maybe three, Kane was angry and this adversarry was going to die.

I once again docked and had the crew fit another two point scram in place of my stasis web, unfortunately I ran into fitting issues and it wouldn't load properly. Mmm, think Kane, this guy needs to die, you need at least 4 points to make it so, so I ordered my crew to rip out the gyrostabiliser and that allowed me to fit and power the second scram.

Undocking once again I'm keenly looking at the intel being fed to me from high above the station, it seems he's continued his same pattern, I warp straight off to a safespot as the stations sentries have a problem with me, that being they want to shoot me dead.

I listen as my friend reports in and I start to move into position, two jumps ahead I warp in at 70km in case he changes to 50. Lo and behold he warps in at 100 once more and I'm there to greet him.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition... uhm... I mean 4 points of warp scrambler, Keira's bonuses giving me a massive speed boost and extra range on the scrams, I'm on top of him in the flash of an eye, my lock is quick and sure, my scrams kick in, a beautiful green glow from both assuring me he's staying put, my guns and rocket launcher spit evil death upon his Rifter.
It explodes in a satisfying light display. A wry smile creeps across my face as my systems lock his pod down.

Kane Rizzel > warp core stabs are bad mkay

My guns spin up and a fresh corpse is added to the Morgue.

The killmail is very curious and confuses me a bit but it's still a kill.

Let this be a lesson to you, if at first I don't succeed, I'm going to come back and get you.

I dock up, my hands throbbing, enviromental control has kicked the bucket again and I need some air, could use a smoke and a drink too.

Violence isn't the answer, it's the question... and the answer is Yes

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

--Terry Pratchett

I've been asked on more than one occasion why I pirate, well the answer is simple, it's just so much damn fun. Killing and looting with scant regard for the law is one of the most rewarding experiences in the universe and as such I wholeheartedly embrace it.

I was having a bad day, same old headache and in desperate need of some sleep. I decided to take out my frustrations on anyone who happened to come to Gusandall and it wasn't long before my first target of opportunity came knocking.

Experience has taught me that new pilots flying anything bigger than a Cruiser will fit a Warp Core Stabiliser on there first outings in lowsec and it was this little nugget that led to my first kill of the night. A Hurricane battlecruiser was spotted en route to a belt, well I just had to roll out the welcome wagon, in the shape of Monstrous Regiment, my Broadsword heavy interdictor.
Systems were active as I had the crew prep a few ships in anticipation for this evenings festivities.

The undock is long and dark and with each passing moment the anticipation builds, some friends are having a fight next door in Eifer but I have a singular mind at this point in time, that Hurricane and it's pilot. Finally, light dawns on the Sword as she undocks into the Gusandall sky, my onboard scanner already working to narrow down my prey, three 90 degree arcs and I had his general direction, only one place he could be so I initiated warp

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

"Please stay there, please stay there" I said to myself, willing the Hurricane pilot to still be there when I landed. I burst out of warp and it seemed to have worked, the Hurricane was engaging some Angel Cartel frigates. I had landed 3 clicks off his starboard and lock was initiated, Warp Disruption Field Generator was primed, my guns started to spin up.

Lock resolves and all systems kick in as they are intended, Hurricane locks back and opens up, the Broadsword's immense shield systems barely registering any damage but the Hurricane is feeling the pain. My 220s tearing shreds of it's armour away as it desperately tries to align and warp out but there's no escape, an infinite warp disruption point making sure of that, a Stasis Web slowing him down to a crawl.

I must admit I almost called for help in a local Pirate Intel channel as wasn't sure I had the firepower to take him down but that thought vanished along with the rest of my prey's structure, a mighty fine explosion and it made my day that little bit brighter. The unfortunate pilot was naturally podded for my efforts and the trophy scooped. My suspicion of a warp core stabiliser confirmed by the killmail.

Next up was a combo meal, a Jaguar and Rifter had been spotted near one of my favourite hunting grounds, the local 2/10 Angel complex. Mmm, time for some Jaguar action so I boarded Kittie and went to work. I burst out of warp on top of the gate, as I knew I would, the Rifter and Jaguar sitting in wait, not sure if it was a Admiral Akbar moment as I'd never seen or killed either pilot before but I was lit up by both pilots. Jaguar was primary, a more than even match for me, warp scrambled and webbed my guns spun up, my rocket launcher spewing forth some Caldari Navy goodness. I then noticed I had the wrong ammo loaded, my Barrage rounds not best suited for taking out the Jaguars formidable shield systems but it didn't matter as they were failing fast. I was soaking up some good damage but my shields were holding against the onslaught of my two opponents. Once through the Jag's shields it melted very quickly, my attention now turning to the Rifter who to his credit stayed to the end.

Next on the menu was a Rifter, so I grabbed my own Rifter and started to track him, chasing him through the belts a few times until I anticipated his next warp and got there just before he did. I locked and engaged, he did the same, a Small Nosferatu energy vampire reached out and touched me, slowly draining my capacitor but it didn't matter, he was totally outmatched in this fight but took his loss well.

Later on I would warp in on a Stabber engaging a Rifter. I engaged the Stabber and started to do what Kane does. He set a Hobgoblin II on me so I locked it as is my way and went in for the kill but he withdrew the small drone and warped out :(
Oh well, I guess I can't kill them all.

A good night really, never left my home system, got some kills, ruined some people's day and generally enjoyed myself. What more could a Pirate ask for?

Well there are a few things but that would probably get this blog censored ;)

Oh my

"Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?"
"How much?" said Arthur.
"None at all," said Mr Prosser.

My eyes open ever so gently, the low light of the hangar sears my eyes, this is not good.

The constant headaches a legacy of many cloning procedures.

This technological marvel has it's side effects but at least death is not a worry although sometimes I feel it would be a welcome change to the constant pain. I take a handful of painkillers and head for my Rifter, some old school frigate piracy was needed.

First

My friend in her covops was sitting in a spot in Gusandall and she notified me of another Rifter bouncing between the belts so I took that as my cue to get my Piracy hat on and undocked into the black. It wasn't long before I found said Rifter but he warped straight to the station, a place where fighting in my Rifter would mean a short end for me unless I could get him to aggro me first, we danced for a while, both having locked each other and then he warped off... to a belt, so I did what comes naturally to Kane and warped in and killed him.

Second

I headed to Eifer and spotted a pilot who I missed a few days ago due to him flying a stabbed Thrasher, this time he was in a Stabber. I started to track him and was joined in my mission by an accomplice, we tracked him to a belt separately and both warped in, both got points on and he just warped out... HE FUCKING WARPED OUT.

Right, this guy just made my shit list, GCC be damned, I headed back to Gus to get my Broadsword. I sent word to my deck crew to get Monstrous Regiment™ prepped, once docked it took me a short time to get ready and I headed back to Eifer where the stabbed Stabber was still ratting, oblivious to his impending doom.

I narrowed him down to a belt and aligned.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

Space folds around my Broadsword as I'm slung into warp, my on-board scanner working overtime making sure the mark is still there. I burst out of warp.

"Well hello there" I say to myself "Let me introduce you to my little friend."

The Broadsword is part of a unique class of ships called Heavy Interdictors, able to fit a Warp Disruption Field Generator, a device that can be scripted to a focussed beam of infinite strength to warp disruption. It was this device that now kicked into action as it bridged the 18km between myself and the stabber, I flick my MWD into life and close the distance, I activate my Stais Webifier, that Stabber is going nowhere... NOWHERE! In a heartbeat I'm right on top of him and my guns spin up and begin to rain sweet destruction upon the Stabber.

I could hear the Stabber pilot screaming "WHY I NOT WARPING?" as he frantically aligned but the end came swiftly and without mercy I locked his escape pod and sent him home via the Clone Vat Express™

See kids, fitting stabs makes Uncle Kane angry and you don't want to make him angry do you?

Third

(EDIT:Waiting out my GCC) I waited out my GCC and headed to Gus for my Rifter, once back in Eifer I spot a Punisher idling near a belt, warp in to find him 80 clicks out, I start to close, the red mist descends as another kill beckons. We get in range of each other and fireworks ensue, the Punisher going down hard. I'm laughing like a maniac, the thrill of the kill overtaking my sense. Had I been paying attention I would have noticed local light up as reds poured into Eifer, the Punisher explodes and I lock the pod, a Taranis, then a Jaguar warp in on me... DOH

Welp, here I am, warp scrambled and webbed, but not going down without a fight, I lock both ships and start on the Taranis, his shield melts away in an instant, his armour taking a massive beating. My shields are holding up well but then I lose lock... FUCKING JAMMED.
I overload everything and try Keep distance on the Taranis, reacquire lock and web him, My shields have been stripped away and it's not looking good. Taranis hasn't done any damage to me at this point as I successfully keep range but the artillery on that Jaguar is doing me in. I select a celestial object as I'm three quarters into hull and start spamming the warp button, my escape pod jettisons into space as my Rifter explodes and then... NOTHING, no warp, I get locked by the Taranis...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

I fall onto the cold floor as I spill out of the cloning VAT, the searing pain behind my eyes dawning the realisation I just got podded. It gets worse every time. I update my clone, it's getting expensive and board a Jaguar, my head still spinning but this new body is strong. I head back to Eifer for some revenge and warp in towards my wreck, my corpse floating next to it. The Jaguar is still there, the Taranis warps out, I start to close on the Jaguar when a Crow, Stiletto and the Taranis warp back in... not good so I warp to a spot high above the belt and watch them. I offer 1v1s to all the pilots but they don't respond. It appears this is the forward group of a larger fleet moving through the area, local lights up as about 20 pilots jump in on there way back to Highsec.
I wasn't going to get any 1v1s or any semblance of revenge. They left system and I warped to my wreck, grab my loot and my corpse, this one has a special place in the Morgue

There was news of a carrier in Bundindus and I raced to grab my Sleipnir and headed over there but it was a wash as the pilot docked up in the safety of the station.

Fourth

I head back to Gus to grab the Rifter, the night is still young and there's killing to be done. Eifer seems to be alive tonight, there's a buzz and the buzz was a Thrasher in a belt. It seems a friend of mine had already scanned him down and was engaging, I warped in to find Kerjin, in his Rupture, just warp scrambling the poor Thrasher and letting the belt rats do the damage. He's a sick puppy that Kerjin. I joined in and added a web to the mix. The Thrasher lit me up and started firing on me, Kerjin informed him that this was a bad idea and as with all bad ideas they end in tears as we finally landed the killing blows after about two minutes. Another pod, another corpse for the Morgue.

Fifth

I was waiting out my GCC when some friends from The Bastards reported a Thanatos carrier at a planet in Gultraten.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me, at a planet?" I asked

The reply was a firm yes

"Tackled?"

"About to be" was the reply

Well I guess I'll just forget about this GCC and go grab something more appropriate.
It was a choice between a Sleipnir and a Hurricane and Karma won, she needed some blood and what better than a carrier. I made all haste to get to Gultraten.

"Where is it?" I asked

"Planet V at zero"

This was too good to be true, a carrier at a planet, on its own and about to have a very, very bad day.

"He's going down a might too fast"

Double you tea eff!

Move Karma, I ain't fucking missing this. I burst out of warp right on top of the mighty carrier, just as the pilot logged his systems. Oh dear, this poor Thanatos left at the mercy of Pirates, whatever was he thinking?

Well the carrier exploded, a massive flash blinding our systems for a second as the escape pod from the carrier warped off with the unconscious pilot inside. z0de probed it out and it was squashed with extreme prejudice. The cowardice of logging one's systems in a fight not tolerated by most Pirates.

Sixes and Sevens

Back in Gusandall my friend notified me of a Thorax, seemingly at the gate of the 1/10 plex, a strange place for a cruiser to be, so I grabbed my Rupture and headed out, warped in, killed him, squashed his pod and warped out.

My friend once again told me of a Nemesis stealth bomber bouncing the belts, I boarded my Jaguar, undocked and warped to the belt where he was reported at, as I came out of warp he was over 90 clicks away and warped to another belt as I started to close, I followed but when I got there he had cloaked... well damn, I hit the scanner and nothing, definitely cloaked then. The belt rats started to swarm around me and then just like that the Nemesis was de cloaked, 3km from me, I locked, scrammed, webbed and popped him in short order, stealth bombers not known for their ability to tank, the pod being squished even quicker.

Added another Rifter to the kills for the night, the pilot was grossly outclassed but a good sport and a reader of these tales.

I did come up against a surprising Rifter just after, over 4km/s and I burnt out my MWD and warp disruptor chasing him down so took my chance to warp out of a fight when he lost point as he wildly orbited me as I stood no chance of winning at that point.

JAM2 > come back when you grow some balls

It's got nothing to do with balls son, no point, no kill and I don't hang about plainly when the fight is beyond me if I don't have to.

I wait out my GCC and head back to Gusandall, it's late, I'm tired, my head is seemingly about to explode and JAM2 will have to wait his turn.

Chances taken, opportunities lost

The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Chances taken

A weird evening for me, got back from the club after a bit too much to drink and sidled over to my Rifter, what a pretty Rifter. I roamed a bit with no real targets of note, my head all fuzzy like it's wrapped in cotton wool, me thinks I had too much bourbon. Of course flying under the influence is never recommended but details such as this have never stopped me.

I jumped into Gultraten and spotted a Rupture seemingly auto piloting to the gate, I decided to give him a nudge and see what he would do. Well... he evaporated my shiny Rifter in short order, at least I had the presence of mind to warp my pod out. I convoed the pilot and offered a Rupture 1v1 and much to my surprise he accepted. I headed back to HQ and quickly boarded my Rupture, a sturdy beast, not as fragile as my Rifter and packs a massive punch. I made all haste back to Gultraten and made arrangements for the 1v1, I would allow him to Fleet me and let him warp to my safe spot for his peace of mind. People are so untrusting of Pirates.

So, here I am, sitting at a safespot and waiting, I check my systems, ammo and drone bay just in case I forgot to load my guns, which wouldn't surprise me at all this evening. Much to my annoyance I had small ECM drones in the drone bay, these things have never worked for me... NEVER but have been used against me to great effect. Oh well, I would just have to make do.

The Rupture pilot warped in and the fight began, autocannon rounds bridging the gap between the two Ruptures, I was certain he was running a similar plated setup to mine and it was confirmed as we both slowly chewed into each others armour. His hobgoblin II drones were doing a good job, I had yet to deploy my ECM drones. Overloading my guns had allowed me to edge ahead in the damage race, even though I wasn't using drones but now the time had come, I gave the command and 5 light ECM drones were launched from their bay. A quick flick of my command console sending them racing towards my opponent. They were spinning wildly about him even as we continued to trade blows and then a strange thing happened, they got a jam cycle. Well I'll be damned, they do work, my opponent starting to dip into structure, his drones still buzzing about me but not doing terribly much. He started to reacquire target but then something even more amazing happened, my ECM drones got another jam cycle. The fight was as good as over, his last bit of structure vanishing, a brilliant explosion lighting up the Gultraten skyline and I felt kind of bad, my hate for ECM now being shared by another individual. To be honest though I was out damaging him, our setups similar but his being more tanked than gank.

We had a good conversation about Piracy and combat then went our separate ways, good fight Myrkala.

Later on I was bumming about in my Jaguar, getting Keys for the 2/10 plex so I could hunt more efficiently in there when I warped back to the station, much to my surprise a Navy Issue Vexor undocked, well hello there. This faction ship a rare occurrence in our parts and it prompted a mass undock of the locals, all wanting to get a look, maybe shoot at it and shoot at it we did.
It didn't last long, flashing into nothing. The pilot made two mistakes... Number one, he undocked, might seem innocuous but it's the death of many, especially when there's a bunch of bored Pirates about... Number two, he agressed me, silly thing to do, means he wouldn't be able to redock for a bit, it's this little nugget that led to his downfall as the station emptied of Pirates eager for a faction kill. We were under sentry fire for most of the fight but it didn't stop us, we would gladly sacrifice ships for a shiny explosion.

Opportunity lost

I woke this morning to a bright hangar, I forgot to put the lights out last night, passing out in my bunk with everything still on. Keira's gooing to have a fit when she sees the electricity bill. Oh well, I'll deal with that later, right now my attention was drawn by a blinking message on my comms unit.

"Two Ravens probed in Ingunn, bring something with teeth"

Yumm, Ravens for breakfast. My friend in her Cheetah was up early and had probed out two Ravens in a mission, they had an Ibis pilot as scout so timing would be important. She had not warped to the probe hit yet as it tends to decloak her and she didn't want to tip them off just yet.
I powered up The Fifth Elephant™, a Sleipnir having enough teeth to deal with Ravens in the right hands.

Undcoking into the black of the Gusandall sky I made my way to the Ingunn gate, waiting for my friend to report she was in position before jumping in and warping to her. I didn't have to wait long, she reported she was there but much to her dismay she had been decloaked by the gate, the Ravens started to align out even as I jumped in and initiated warp to her postition.

"DAMN"

My Sleipnir burst out of warp just as the last Raven warped out towards the station. I was annoyed so locked the Ibis and introduced him to my 425s, his corpse joining "The Morgue"

I would have camped the plex gate but had to join some friends for drinks, not a very good start to the day for me and I felt bad for my friend after all her good work. I have developed a new strategy that I will use next time to avoid this happening again. Time will tell.

A man and his stabs...

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Hanging about in my Rifter as is the norm I spotted a Myrmidon on scan... Mmm, Myrmidon.

I wasn't alone in local as a friend was trying to act inconspicuous in his Malediction, the two of us got to talking about introducing the Myrm pilot to the colour of his liver. Between the two of us we would have a hard time breaking the Myrms tank so it was decided Jorge would go in with his Malediction to lay down the Epic tackle, I would head back to Gus and grab Karma™, there was a thought of grabbing the Fifth Elephant™ but I thought the Hurricane could use a spin in the black.

I waited on the Eifer gate until Jorge gave the word

"Word"

I jumped in and warped to the belt in which my prey was currently being orbited by Jorge's Malediction, peppering the Myrm with light missiles. The sleek hull of Karma™ bursting out of warp right on top of the Myrmidon.

Target lock aquired, Warp Disruptor glows on my HUD as my 425s spin up and start raining sweet death, drones are deployed and they race towards him. His shields evaporate, armour goes full red in a few seconds, atmosphere and fuel starts to vent into space.

"Ransom?" I ask Jorge

Before he could respond something incredulous happened.

"What the fuck? Did he just warp off?"

I kick my command console in frustration. I think something broke but that will have to wait for later. We had two points on the fucker and he just warped off. He left local a short while later and I waited out my GCC cursing at the universe. Jorge and myself cheated out of a kill.

I headed back to Gus and grabbed my Jaguar as my sneaky friend in her Covops had tracked down a Caracal in Ingunn, so I headed over but was disappointed once again as the Caracal warped off before I arrived.

It was looking bleak until Jorge reported the Myrm back in Eifer. Jorge was joined by CPT NESSAJA in his Crow so I headed back to Gus and grabbed my Broadsword, I was taking no chances. The Myrm was jumping between belts and planets with the two Interceptors chasing. I scanned the Myrm at a planet and warped in. There he was, bright as day and this time he wasn't getting away.

My targeting systems are quick to lock, my Warp Disruption Field Generator kicks in, I web him for good measure and my 220s go to work. Nes and Jorge join the party and we start to dance. The Myrm's shields are stripped away and then another strange occurrence

"What the fuck? I'm jammed"

He had a jammer on that thing, I was starting to get annoyed. I hit my microwarp drive and rammed my Broadsword into him to knock him off alignment. It was a successful bump, but my head was spinning from the collision. Target once more acquired I continue to rain Barrage into the Gallente battlecruiser. Ransom of the ship is no longer an option, this guy is going down, bits of armour and hull start flying off his ship, massive hull breaches appear and it explodes in a massive fireball, bits of Myrmidon raining against my ship.

"Grab the pod, we ransom that" I say over our shared comms.

Pod is locked and scrambled by the quick locking Interceptors and I open communications with the now Myrmidonless pilot.

"2miilion ISK and your pod goes free. Good fight by the way"

I'm greeted by silence and then he pipes up that he really enjoyed himself. OK, a bit strange.

"15 seconds or your pod is goo"

The replies get stranger, he asks if he can join us hunting, to which I reply "Nope sorry, my wallet still isn't flashing"

"Here's 5million, that was so much fun"

Ooookay, I suspect some alcohol, maybe some narcotics at work but tell the guys to let him go, our work here is done. He lingers a moment and then warps off, I grab the loot and head to a safespot. A True Sansha Energised Adaptive Membrane dropped amongst some generic tech 1 stuff, very surprising but satisfying. Even more surprising is that he only had one warp core stabiliser fitted so not sure how he got away the first time, I suspect he got a jam on me or Jorge and we weren't paying attention.

I wait out my GCC and then head back to Gus, a good kill, some nice ISK for the guys. I'm tired and decide to call it a night, I distribute the ISK to the guys for what the faction mod is worth, light a cigarette and pour myself a Cherry Coke. My head is pounding, I only realise now that the adrenaline has worn off, that collision was more jarring than I thought. Oh well, nothing a handful of painkillers won't cure. I power down the hangar and slump into my bunk, I could use a good nights rest.

Bang Bang... he shot me down

Lone Starr: I still don't understand how I'm going to lift that big statue with this little ring.
Yogurt: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!

Rifters are some of the most fun in the universe, small, light and packs a decent punch for a frigate. Of course you have to pick your targets and this takes some skill.
Charging in eyes wide open with nary a worry what awaits will most likely end in tears. A few nights back I had one of those moments except I knew full well what I was getting into.

If you don't know by now I'm slightly suicidal when it comes to engaging things, me versus the universe are good odds in my estimation and you just never know. Now I was hanging about in Eifer, trying to look menacing in my Rifter when I glanced over at my comms and spotted a pilot requesting help in belt 1-1

"Ishtar tackled in belt 1-1, hurry, he's hurting"

I hit the scanner and saw my acquaintance in a Crow, surely he should be quick enough to evade the drones of the Ishtar. Warrior II drones are quick though.

"I'm going to have to bail soon, anyone around"

Was he talking to me? He must be talking to me, I don't see anyone else around here, well, besides the Ishtars buddy in the Vagabond. Sure, this was going to be easy.

Not known for being the smartest Pirate in the universe I aligned for the belt and engaged my warp systems.

Warp Drive Active

I love her voice, it's like the calm before the storm.

I burst out of warp at zero and it took me a moment to actually see what was going on, the Ishtar was chasing the Crow and was doing a good job of it. The action was taking place some 150 clicks away from me so I hit the Microwarp drive and started to close.

Now I know some of you are thinking "Kane, double you tea eff mate? It's a frickin Ishtar and a Vagabond" Well, I know this but that isn't going to stop me now is it? I bet the Ishtar and Vaga pilot were thinking the same thing.

I got to about 50 clicks when the Vagabond warped in, the lure of Kane Rizzel's Rifter proving too much to resist. The Ishtar lit me up like a christmas tree and I engaged my target. My acquaintance in the Crow bugged out leaving me to do battle.

The sound of straining metal fills my ears as my Rifter banks sharply in a turn as I closed, my guns spinning up, my tackling gear doing what tackling gear is supposed to do. I try and close but they are quick over 6km/s.
They get right on top of me, I web my primary and go to work, his shields are dipping fast but I'm deep in armour, I hit my small armour repairer... I hit it again... I hit it again, just in case you know

"WHERE THE FUCK DID MY CAP GO?"

That bastard has an Energy Neutraliser, he fucking neuted me. I'm webbed, scrammed, neuted and only deity knows what else but my Primary target is going down, it's going to be close, very close, as he hits hull. I'm going down, no doubt about it but I'm taking that bastard with me, his friend is doing a mighty fine job of tearing me apart. Primary flashes into nothingness as my mighty Rifter violently spasms from bow to stern, the flash is blinding as this once fearsome Minmatar frigate is reduced to nothing more than a wreckage in space.

My escape pod warps out as I was spamming the warp command over and over.

A good fight, that Warrior II was a mighty opponent, I primaried him the second I saw him as I knew it would be a good fight, unfortunately 4 of his friends joined the party, deployed by the Ishtar and vicious in there efficiency. The Vagabond didn't help matters either as I'm sure I would have been able to pop another Warrior had he not been there.

What? it's no coincidence my Rifter is named NoBBBRRRAAAIIINNNSSS™

I have actually killed some stuff of note since my return... Honest

Honey, I'm home

Jayne: "Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."

I walk into the dark hangar, the silence is deafening. There's no light but for the little coming in through the door, all systems are powered down. I walk over to my desk and hit the lights, my eyes take a moment to adjust as the hangar is lit and the array of deadly ships become visible.
I turn on my comms systems and take a moment to check the chatter before checking my mail.
A two week backlog takes me a few minutes to get through all the while looking at my hangar. I've missed this place, I've missed my ships and above all I've missed Piracy.

It's good to be back.

The first stage of Keira's business in high sec space is now concluded and she'll hopefully be moving back to lowsec for the foreseeable future. My other friend is also moving back after doing a bit of Ninja Salvaging in a high security mission hub. Soon the whole crew will be back in action.

I need to get the rust out so head for my favourite ship, a Rifter class frigate. I prime the systems and get ready to undock. The night sky of Gusandall greets me like an old friend, a sea of flashing red lights up my overview as the local Pirates are camping the station. Fortunately for me they aren't here for my Rifter and I warp off to Eifer to get the blood flowing. An old friend gives me a call and asks if I want to join up with them. "Not now" I say, there's some hunting to be done old school style.

Unfortunately Eifer is dead, nought but the usual haulers so I head back to Gus to join up with the flashing reds camping the station, I dock and board my Sleipnir, it seems a storm is brewing.
Capital Storm are an alliance of Anti Pirates and one of their members was docked in station. Having fought them on numerous occasions it's a well known fact that where there is one, there will be many more as they always fly in gangs with good support. It is with this in mind that the local pirates have a loose alliance of sorts. Separately we are easy pickings for a well oiled machine like Capital Storm but together we stand a chance. Moments after I undocked a Capital Storm Abbadon undocked and I engaged instantly, the rest of the flashing reds did the same and local lit up as his friends jumped into Gus. They had a large force, equal numbers but more firepower than us as we had three logistics ships in the unofficial gang. Capital Storm never fly without a Falcon recon ship in gang so with this in mind the assembled Pirates decided not to carry the engagement forward. I warped out to a safespot and the others docked. We do like a fight but to fight with the odds stacked against you is never the wisest of options.

A few minutes passed as did Capital Storm so I docked and grabbed my Rifter once more. Eifer dead, Ingunn dead, many outlying systems devoid of targets until I got to Hrondmund. A Stabber appeared on my scanner and I started to track him. Hrond has many belts so was a bit tricky but eventually narrowed him down to just one.

Warp Drive Active

Tackling systems set to overload for extra range in case he's too far, I burst out of warp just as the Stabber warps out to another belt, I can see the tell-tale signs of warp and align quickly for his destination.

Warp Drive Active

Once again normal space envelopes me as I enter the belt, the Stabber only 3000 metres from me, Targeting systems are quick to acquire, my warp disruptor and web kick in. My guns and rocket launcher are activated...

I lose lock as the Stabber warps out without a shot being fired.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH"

There's only one thing I hate more than ECM... and that's fucking Warp Core Stabilisers.
So... a great start to my return, nothing, nada, zip.

Oh well, I head back to Gus to take care of some business. Violencing will have to wait for another night.