You killed a what? With a What?

Early: "You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport. Yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?"

Simon: "What'd he do?"

Early: "Who?"

Simon: "The midget."

Early: "Arson. Little man loved fire."

Mmm, Hawk... tastes like chicken

Sometimes I struggle to sleep, it's a condition I'm so used to but one which nevertheless causes me much anguish. So I undocked and christened yet another ship into my fleet, a Taranis. The Gallente interceptor is quite interesting to me, able to carry two light drones and pack a mean punch with blasters at close range, all the while being nimble and quick. A good all round package which makes for some fun flying. It's maiden hunt would take us to Eifer, my spiritual home.

I warped to my regular scan spot above a belt and was surprised to see a Hawk about 300 clicks below me in a safespot near mine, so I did what comes naturally and started to close the distance. It took me a while as I was just shy of 4km/s in this new ship but the gap was closing.
Within 30km I was lit up by his targeting systems, a flight of missiles streaking across the sky towards me. I finally made into locking range, locked, then tackle range, tackled. My blasters lit up and started to stream hydrid ammo across the void. The Hawk pilot was firing missiles constantly at me, his shields being boosted somehow but soon he was deep into armour. My Taranis was venting atmosphere into space, I had taken an incredible beating from the kinetic missiles. At point blank range the Hawk's structure vanished in the blink of an eye, his escape pod jettisoned into space but locked and tackled in an instant, the corpse joining the many in "The Morgue"

¯\(º_o)/¯

I awoke from a good sleep, that Hawk kill was just what I needed to relax me enough. I had passed out in the Taranis so decided it would suffice for the first hunt of the day, once again I headed to Eifer, one pilot I recognised in system but he's mostly cloaked and doesn't engage anything that might fight back. One pilot did catch my eye, a Maelstrom being piloted by a very young pilot. I decided to go for it, suicide my ship and see what I could do.

I warped in to where my scanner indicated he was only to see the warp trails to another belt, I quickly aligned and jumped there coming out of warp almost at the same time as the massive Minmatar Battleship. I was right on top of him so locked and tackled, my two point warp scrambler lighting up and emitting a soft hum through my ship, stasis web went active, making the bulky ship a huge sitting duck. My blasters went live, Caldari Navy antimatter rounds punching there way into the mighty shield systems. I had called for assistance in a local intel channel, killing the Maelstrom drones while waiting for a response. One pilot responded, saying he was en route with a Megathron, but by this time my small blasters were digging holes into the Maelstrom's armour. With the armour gone and deathstar about to jump in I was in hysterical laughter, the structure was vanishing in front of my eyes, tears rolling off my cheeks as the once mighty Maelstrom exploded. The escape pod made tasty snack as deathstar jumped into system, the fight over and me rolling in a fit of laughter.

The killmail would deliver further laughs as the fitting boggles the mind.
A deeply satisfying kill, an improbable kill, one in which if you asked me before if it would happen I would have said "NEVER!"

Welcome to Heimatar

Sitting in Gusandall station, basking in how awesome I am, I was talking to flashfresh and news of some mission runners came through the grapevine. You could literally hear Pirate ears perking up at the sound. Blood was in the water and the sharks started circling. Covops were dispatched to the system to track them down and soon a small but very deadly gang was formed and made their way to the target system. The Covops were tracking two ships, a Dominix and a Maelstrom, not together but both definitely running missions. First contact was reported as the Domi, the Covops setting up the warpin at the mission acceleration gate. flashfresh gave the order and the gang jumped in, warped to the acceleration gate and waited a moment till everyone landed before activating the gate. The gang was launched as one into the mission deadspace and we were dismayed to see the Domi over 60 clicks away, the distance giving him the opportunity he needed to warp out which he took.

An opportunity lost but the Covops pilot was still probing for the Maelstrom and soon she reported that she had setup the warpin to the acceleration gate, once again the gang formed up and the order was given, we warped in but again the target was not there. Curses I thought but then a curious thing happened as the Maelstrom warped in from the direction of the acceleration gate, right into the middle of the rabid pack assembled.

Muhaar Gemeinian > oh hai thar

The Maelstrom was about to have a very bad day as seven ships simultaneously locked, tackled and opened fire. There was no way he was getting out of this, even when the notion of a ransom was mentioned, the bloodlust was just too strong. The flash from the Maelstrom's exploding hull blinding but the escape pod instawarped as the pilot logged his critical systems to save himself.

The loot was scooped and we waited out our GCC when reports of another Maelstrom running missions a few systems away reached us. The Covops was dispatched and soon she had probed out his mission and was setting up the warpin as the rest of the gang made their way. The pilot was identified as being from Band of Brothers, a tasty victim and one we were keen to kill. Once we had assembled on the acceleration gate the word was given and we warped in. Damn, 70km away but we had a Vagabond and Rapier setup just right to close the distance quickly enough. Once tackled it was just a matter of time as the rest of us got into range and soon the Maelstrom evaporated under the sustained assault. The words of flashfresh certainly ringing in his ears "Welcome to Heimatar" as he logged his critical systems to save his pod.

Oh poo... terhead

I headed back to Gusandall, some modules offline from overheating and in desperate need of repair but as I was en route the rest of the gang destroyed a Tempest battleship on the Gus station undock. I had entered system and spotted an Enyo in the direction of the 2/10 plex, I docked, repaired the Sleipnir and boarded my Jaguar, undocked and set warp for the plex, I was pleased to see that the mark was still there, I activated the ancient acceleration gate and warped in, the mark 40km from me but I closed the distance very quickly and the Enyo didn't last long.

Whilst this was going on the gang had gone to Eifer and engaged a Deimos, I made all haste to join them but only managed to warp in as the exploding Deimos lit the night sky.

The rest of my day was spent in a Succubus, got a few kills in Eifer with it, nothing of significance but did engage a Rapier and Hound duo, who thought they had a tasty faction treat but were surprised when a friend of mine in system uncloaked in a Falcon which jammed the Rapeir, I had gotten right on top of him but ran out of capacitor and my tackling systems shut down. The Rapier took this as his cue to leave which he did, the Hound long having left the fight.
I was kinda upset about losing that kill but you can't always kill em all.

The Maelstrom solo kill from earlier made my day, everything else pale in significance compared to that but a good day in the end. I have a headache again, really annoying so I'm going to take some paikillers and try get some sleep.