The Race

The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms)

I'm sitting here in my hangar, leaning back in my office chair that I nicked from some station administrators office, watching The men who stare at goats, a rather funny movie about men who stare at goats

"Dramiel, in the 2/10, piloted by DEATH RIGHTS"

The comm so loud I fall out of the chair as I was balancing rather precariously. I get the boys working on firing up Ridcully, a Jaguar class assault frigate which is rather suited to the job at hand.

Undocking can sometimes take an age to accomplish and it's at these times where patience is truly tested.

Once in the black, I set warp directly to the 2/10, hammering the scanner in that direction, making sure the Dram would still be there. Of course it was, it's a Dramiel, piloted by the most fearsome of warriors, scared of nothing and armed to the teeth.

I activate the ancient acceleration gate and warp into the first room, where my scanner says the Dramiel is. This is conformed as I land, the Dram 35km away. I start to close, the Dram, here for a fight, does the same.

He's quick, very quick and soon we are engaged in mortal combat. He deploys a flight of hobgoblins, they start in on me. Shields holding, for now but he is actively tanked and is doing well against my damage. I overload, his shields start to fail, as have mine, he starts to get range, his drones still on me but I make short work of them as he has now gained about 50 clicks on me.

My shields start to recharge, large chunks of my light armour is missing but the fight is far from over. He closes to within warp disruptor range and holds me in place, another drone is sent my way but it meets a sticky end. He's far quicker than I am, so I need to be smarter.

I hit my afterburners and burn away from him, making straight lines, waiting for him to chase, waiting for the right moment to perform an old and trusted maneuver, the Crazy Ivan.

I gain some range and I can see him make to close, I overheat my afterburner, full thrust and turn directly into his trajectory. He almost runs right into me, but is now webbed and scrammed. I can no longer overheat my weapons as they'll burn out leaving me at his mercy, but I'm firing everything, the race is on, his shields break, my shields break, a Sabre interdictor rocks up, makes my life a little more interesting and I explode...

A moment of worry as my systems freeze up as I try to warp my escape pod out of harms way, I panic like someone who really panics but the lag subsides and I whip the escape pod to safety.

Kane Rizzel > great fight
fukitbucket > yeah good fight mate
DEATH RIGHTS > yeh sorry needed a hand lol
Kane Rizzel > no worries
DEATH RIGHTS > 2006 be hard
DEATH RIGHTS > lol
Kane Rizzel > :)

And it was a great fight, what was probably two minutes felt like twenty. I will never know what the outcome of the fight would have been had his friend in the Sabre not shown up but that's life :)

The Duel

Lancre operated on the feudal system, which was to say, everyone feuded all the time and handed on the fight to their descendants.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)

An interesting evening in which no-one would engage in random acts of hostility*, various gangs of varying sizes up and down New Eden being reported in a variety of intel channels.

A few of the Rizzel clan were off doing other ventures, whilst I and an associate made life more interesting for some folks trying to run an anomaly in Eifer, unfortunately I wasn't able to make it at all interesting as I always seemed to be just out of range as they warped in.

One particular gang caught my eye, three Cynabals, a Loki and a Curse. They flew through Gusandall and left just as myself in a Bhaalgorn and a few other of the locals got together to play host. Unfortunately my character was called into question as I had kindly asked them to come to station to fight.

They all left to high sec space and as I was sitting on the gate in my Ghetto Bhaalgorn, the Loki jumped back in and warped to the station.

With nothing to lose, I offer the Loki pilot a duel against my Stabber Fleet Issue.

With slight hesitation he agrees, after the locals agree to stay out of it of course. I offer my usual terms, for him to form gang and choose safespot, but he chooses to fight at Planet V and advertises it in local. This of course got my Admiral Akbar senses tingling but I had plenty of friends in local who would treat a violation of a 1v1 very seriously.

He doesn't have a point fitted as he asks in local if anyone has one. Voodoo is kind enough to give him one, as he's afraid I might try and run, he obviously doesn't know me.

I'm waiting at planet V as he warps in 50 clicks away. I do the usual Lame Kane™ as I hit my MWD but only at 50% thrust to close the distance. At 30km I'm webbed and pointed.

MWD Overheated, 100% thrust.
Webs overheated, go green.
Scram overheated, go green

The gap closes quicker than he expects with him now firmly between my crosshairs.

Guns, go green.
Warriors are a go.

With Flubber now face to face with the Loki, things go downhill for him, he deploys a flight of ec-300 drones, properly shitting himself as his Loki is about to die but they don't get a jam off as he explodes.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS EC-300s DID NOT WORK AGAINST ME.

'Good fight' is shared in local as he warps his pod out, the duel honoured by both parties and a smile across my face as I scoop the loot.

*not entirely true as I'm always hostile at random

The Bold and the Beautiful

He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk.
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

Yet another vessel of destruction was christened into the NovaKane Incorporated fleet this fine evening, a Machariel class battleship named Interesting Times.

It is a ship of some magnificence, bold lines, sleek, fast and nimble, above all, she is insanely beautiful. If this ship were a woman, she would be Milla Jovovich in the Resident Evils.

A Legion pilot had been loitering between Eifer and Gusandall and General Dogzbody decided to bait the fellow into action. He deployed his Thorax class war vessel to an asteroid belt in Eifer and waited... Patiently.

"POINT" yelled Dogz, after a few minutes "Four-Two, Eifer"

Interesting Times undocked for the first time in anger and warped to the Eifer gate, jumped through and warped to Dogz' position.

"Bloody hell this thing is quick" I said to myself.

I landed about 30 clicks from the action, pulsed the MWD, locked the target, depolyed drones and opened up with some heavy duty ammunition.

I closed the gap at 2km/s, IN A FRICKIN BATTLESHIP.

The Legion wasn't long for the universe, it exploded, illuminating the beautiful lines of Interesting Times, an interesting ship for sure.

I'm also glad to be on the same killmail as long time friend Jonathan Xavier, who made a trip down to Eifer to come see what this Piracy lark is all about.

As a note on the Machariel, I'm not sure I like it.

Why?

Well, it's not a ship suited to my style. It's designed and built to fight at range, on the edge of the action and as such doesn't really suit my 'in your face, bloody nose, in it till you die' style, it will take some getting used to.

Over one thousand theoretical damage per second at 60km is nice on paper to be honest but I prefer the Bhaalgorn.

The Noob

"Idiot I may be, but tied up I ain't."
-- Gaspode the wonder dog
(Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

"Maelstrom class battleship in Eifer, running a mission for Vir Honn"

Good old Vir, always kind enough to throw us some business every now and again.

An associate is immediately asked if she would be so kind as to pinpoint the location of said battleship as I made preperations for negotiations.

Havelock Vetinari, my Bhaalgorn class intrument of destruction is prepped and soon I'm heading towards the Eifer gate, as I land I get a call "Target loacted, warp to me on jump"

I jump in and warp to my associates loaction. I land a mere 19clicks off but no matter, I open negotitions for the contents of the Maelstrom. Tackled, neuted and being hit by Mega Pulse laser fire, the Maelstrom starts to vent fuel and atmosphere into space, soon just a wreck is left as the escape pod warps off.

I examine the contents if the wreck and grab that which is of worth and warp out, content in the knowledge of a job well done.

It's only once I examine the killmail and the that which I looted that I noticed a terrible error...

Seems I grabbed most everything except the most valuable item, a Caldari Navy Shield Boost Amplifier.

Keira is not going to be happy, but hey, I'm Kane Rizzel, even I make mistakes.

Darwinism

There was not a lot that could be done to make Morpork a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

Luck... Is a curious thing, sometimes the defining factor in a successful hunt, or embarrassing loss.

I'm sitting in my hangar, trying to figure out a fitting for a Worm frigate when an associate starts yelling on comms

"THANATOS UNDOCKED FROM GUS STATION, FUCKING HELL HE'S WARPED IN THE DIRECTION OF THE STAR"

Excitement almost getting the better of me, I calm myself and ask her nicely to follow him

"WARPING AT 100 CLICKS"

I quickly board a Bhaalgorn named Ghetto, I would need a few of its abilities for this.

"THANATOS OFF SCAN"

Bugger must have cloaked because he still appeared on the local register.

"DROPPING PRO... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THAT'S A BIG SHIP"

By chance, my friend in her tiny Cheetah Covops decloaks the monstrous Thanatos.

"GET HERE QUICK"

Alright woman, calm down, stop shouting, I'm... On... The... Way!

Ghetto undocks from the station and I set warp as I enter the black, I land a few clicks off the Thanatos and proceed the basics of tackling.

Lock... Check

Warp Disruptor... Check

Dual Web... Check

Guns... Check

Drones... Check

Energy Neutralisers... Check

Everything now in place and the Thanatos locked down, I start to make arrangements for escalated negotiations.

The Thanatos has me locked up and dispatches a group of fighters in my direction, Keira is busy getting ready to deploy as I start making some calls to like minded individuals who may be interested in a nice sit down with the Thanatos pilot.

I hit armour as Keira undocks the NovaKane Incorporated flagship, an Archon carrier named ArKane and initiates warp to my position. Gang is forming, slowly at first but then invites start flying as the locals come out to party.

Keira lands with my Bhaalgorn almost at 50% armour, she locks me up and sends some remote armour repair love my way, a deployment of ten Fighters spews forth from the ArKane and start multiple attack runs on the now stricken Thanatos.

The tank of the Gallente designed carrier isn't doing very well, but then he probably has zero capacitor left at this point to run it, with a massive explosion, it breaks apart, the escape pod warping out rather sharpish from negotiations as the pilot had logged his critical systems...

...But he didn't get too far as my associate probed it down and punishment for such cowardice was exacted with extreme prejudice.

A lucky kill for my friends and I, an embarrassing loss for the luckless carrier pilot.

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man

"When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!"
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)

My day started off with two successful hunts, one a Hurricane running an anomaly and another, a Ferox in a belt.

But...

Those were just the hors d'oeuvre*

A Rupture undocks from Gusandall station, an associate reports this and I board a Rupture of my own, hastily undock...

Why does this always seem longer when there's mischief to be done?

After what seemed an age, I undock just to see the Rupture warp to the 4th planet, I hastily engage warp, to zero.

I burst out of warp right on top of my prey and engage, tackle is go, guns are go, drones are go...

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEED!

Motherfucker, ec-300s full cycle and the Ruppie pulls range very quickly, must be one of those fancy shield Ruppies, a Vagabond warps in, a corp-mate of the Ruppie pilot, he engages, I try to close on the Ruppie...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, 450m/s? WHO THE FUCK PUT AN AFTERBURNER ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER?

That who would be me, admiral dumbass, as I last used this ship chasing a mission runner and forgot to swap it out.

I'm unable to close on either of my attackers and wait for the inevitable...

TO EXPLODE, SO I CAN GO FETCH ANOTHER SHIP TO EXTRACT DELICIOUS REVENGE!

I warp my pod out sharpish and dock at the station, there's only one thing for this kind of situation, Flubber, y'all know Flubber right? My Stabber Fleet Issue is particularily suited to this kind of fight and I undock as fast as I can, even as I'm being fed intel via an associate that the two are still at the planet.

I warp to zero, they're still there but a good forty to fifty clicks away, I hit my MWD but set it to 50% thrust, Rupture is first to bite, he engages but keeps range nicely, I hit full thrust, overload and soon I'm humping the Ruppie like a pitbull on Viagra.

Rupture isn't long for the universe as he tastes defeat, I turn towards the Vagabond just as I spot my MWD blink out from overheating...

OH BRILLIANT, WELL FUCKING DONE KANE, ARE YOU RETARDED?

Right, stay calm, change of tactic, this Vaga is going to chew you up if you don't redeem yourself.

I make as if I'm trying to run, I'm deep into armour, about to hit structure, no MWD, I overload my scrambler and webs...

Vaga chases, a little too keenly, one web, two webs, Crazy Ivan, scrambler, Flubber licks the Vaga and the race is on.

My structure is evaporating as I burn the Vaga's shields, I lay waste to his armour and with the smallest of margins I win the race, the Vagabond explodes.

EIGHT PERCENT STRUCTURE

Eight percent is all that stood between me and a second loss to these guys, eight percent and Flubber would have said her goodbyes to the universe, perhaps never to see the like of her again.

But Kane Rizzel has sweet revenge...

I also got most my loot back :D


*An appetizer served before a meal

Two Thousand

Jaime had never realised that trees made a sound when they grew, and no-one else had realised it either, because the sound is made over hundreds of years in waves of twenty-four hours from peak to peak. Speed it up, and the sound a tree makes is *vrooom*.
-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

I'm sitting here trying to figure out how best to write this up and to be brutally honest, I'm at a loss. The fight was short and violent, like most fights but nothing about it stands out as a defining moment in my EVE career.

There's three frigates in my home system of Gusandall, a Vigil, a Rifter and a Kestrel. The three pilots appear to be unaffiliated but that's not always the case.

I grabbed the Cunning Man, once again rebuilt after his forebear was brutally slain.

I undock from Gusandall station and initiate warp to the first belt, The vigil is there and it locks me up, I return the favour but wait. The vigil engages as the other two frigates warp in.

Primary is the Rifter, everything is overloaded and the Rifter explodes in short order, Kessie is hitting me hard and is next on the block, it too doesn't last long and the Vigil is a wreck in the blink of an eye. The Cunning Man is in structure but only just, standing proud amongst the wrecks.

The Rifter piloted by Ishtarion Greyhawk was my 2000th kill and I'm glad I was flying the same class of ship that I got my very first ever kill.

Masquerade

The more interesting fight of the night came in the shape of a Wolf class assault frigate. It was loitering outside the station and I grabbed one of my favourite ships, an old and proud Stabber Fleet Issue, particularly suited to engaging small ships.

Shortly after undocking, I locked the Wolf up, he returned the favour, I activated my MWD but held back a bit, 0nly 55% thrust applied, I do this for a few reasons, for one it gives the appearance that I'm slow, plated, which gives the aggressor the feeling that they can out run me, and get under my tracking, it also forces the engagement as the aggressor then feels confident enough to engage.

The Wolf did exactly what I wanted him to do, he engaged, but he quickly shot out to around 20 clicks... Arties? Surely not

But he was hitting me nicely from range, so artillery it is. I hit the MWD again, full throttle, I'm faster than him, overloaded stasis webifier reaches out and slows him down further, just as I get in range of an overloadedwarp scrambler which shuts off his MWD. The time had come to hammer the nails in, a flight of Warrior II drones spews forth from my drone bay, my guns had been hitting but not doing a whole lot...

...And then it was all over.

He warps his pod out sharpish as I offer GF in local, to which he doesn't reply.

Service with a smile

Mustrum Ridcully did a lot for rare species. For one thing, he kept them rare.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies)

Attacking a ship and engaging in Piracy is not as easy as lock and pop, as I've mentioned before there are a lot of little things to consider, but it's not often you think to yourself "Kane, you might not have enough ammo for this"

The Cunning Man, a Rifter class frigate, has been rebuilt and like many of his class before him, he is lean, mean and ready for action. In familiar territory he stalks the black sky, Eifer his hunting ground and a good hunting ground it has been.

A Hurricane appears on scanner, quick and efficient use of the directional scanner concludes it is not in an asteroid belt, but is close to planet V, it appears to be running an anomaly. The onboard system scanner starts a rather long cycle but eventually it reveals a solid hit on a low class Angel anomaly. Again, using the directional scanner, the Hurricane is pinpointed in the direction of said anomaly.

A Hurricane is not the best prey for the Rifter, even a semi competent fit would be enough to chase the Rifter off, but, there is always some idiot who hath not a clue, there is always someone who braves low security space unprepared for what lies beneath. This particular pilot is young, far too young to be flying a battle cruiser into lowsec.

I warp into the anomaly and land about 29 clicks off, need to close the distance sharpish and get under his guns but maybe if I'm sneaky he won't notice me amongst the rats.

Kane can be very sneaky, sneaky as a sneak with a Masters Degree in sneaking from sneaky university if I must and I saunter over to the Hurricane. I lock him up and introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Kane and I will be your Pirate this fine evening"

I open up and he engages right back, the fight is on but I'm easily orbiting under his tracking and I dispatch the three medium drones he launches with ease.

Suspicions of low skills confirmed, but even then, I still have to kill this thing... And kill I must as he refuses to answer the phone to be ransomed.

Now, there's a twist!

There always is...

I treat my Rifters like disposable razors and as such carry a single load each of Barrage and three flavours of Faction ammo for my autocannons, I also carry two loads of rockets. In most situations this would be enough for any fight I'm involved in...

By the time I'd run out of RF EMP I was starting to get nervous as he was at half shields.

I'd broken his shields and got him to about 75% armour by the time the RF Fusion ran out.

RF Phased Plasma took him to half structure, I'd run out of rockets but don't stop me now.

With Barrage loaded and my guns about to melt he explodes brilliantly.

I had a few offers of help, but I declined, I was riding solo. I had a few offers for ammo to be dropped off, but again I declined because solo is solo.

Yes his fit was a joke but a kill is a kill and you'll never know what's inside the piñata until you give it a whack.

[OOC] Can it be done?

"Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time."
-- Bursar 1 - Hex 0
(Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

Someone over at Ars Technica's gaming forum aka Gaming, Extra Strength Caplets' EVE online thread asked this question

What I'm trying to ask is if a mostly solo PVPer can enjoy Eve?

This was my reply:

Solo PvP/Piracy is very viable but you have to be dumb as me to enjoy it

Edit: To expand a bit, solo PvP/Piracy has been the single most challenging and rewarding gaming I have ever taken part in. It takes a lot of skill to be successful and a fuck ton of luck, you also rely on your opponents being dumber than you are (Which is not actually that difficult)

Starting out you are going to spend a lot of ISK, to the point of bankruptcy, you will get frustrated at the lack of targets and the fact when you do find a target, you'll get blobbed, more times than Oprah's been to the buffet table.

You'll roam countless systems for days, sometimes weeks, without nought to show but a pretty light show when you click 'systems visited' on the IG Map.

You'll eventually find someone, go through the mantra "Lock, scram, web and unleash hell" only for him to warp away, get used to it, also get used to screaming "STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABS" like Kirk shouts "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN"

You'll find a lone frigate in a belt, you'll engage him, he'll engage back, you think you have a fight only for him to decloak his Falcon alt and jam you, till you die, he'll then type GF in local as you warp your pod away.

You'll find a fight, a good fight, where every thing goes perfectly... And it fades to black.

Solo PvP/Piracy whilst frustrating and difficult is the pinnacle of EVE PvP, in my very humble opinion. It's ALL about the hunt, being able to use your scanner effectively, being able to narrow down a target sharply is one of the key skills you'll need to learn and it can't be taught, you need to practice, practice, practice.

The other key skill is patience, patience, patience and just when you thought it was over, more patience.

There's a reason I've been so successful, there's a reason that even though I've been out of game for extended periods this year my BC rank is still under 230.

The reason...

After almost four years of soloing in EVE Online...

I'm still an idiot

Kane Rizzel > you know it's bait, everybody know's it's bait, even the bait knows you know but he still wonders why the fuck you're attacking... and that my friends is when you have the upper hand

Also, it is good sometimes to have friends, just saying

I apologise for my absence recently but I've been out enjoying my hard earned leave with flashes of Real Life™ and Black Ops.

A tale of two Rizzels

"You like it?" he said to Mort, in pretty much the same tone of voice people used when they said to St George, "You killed a *what*?"
-- Mort tastes scrumble for the first time
(Terry Pratchett, Mort)

There's always a bigger fish

The Cunning Man deftly makes its way through Eifer, with quick and efficient use of its on-board scanner it is able to pinpoint the location of a possible target, a Typhoon class battleship.

The Cunning Man is the latest of Kane Rizzel's Rifter class frigates, a hull he is most comfortable with but one in which he is totally reckless in, some would say suicidal. This particular Rifter is slightly different, but no less deadly.

The Typhoon appears to be on a gate to high security space and it would take Kane every bit of his great negotiating skill to get a fight out of the battleship.

After five minutes of continuous harassment, the Typhoon pilot finally caves and shoots at Kane.

Kane smiles.

The smile turns to a frown as the Cunning Man is out of capacitor... A heavy energy neutralizer of some kind, this is not good... Oh brilliant, now there's a flight of Warrior II drones, best to try kill some off... This is not going to end well.

The wreck of the Cunning Man is left behind as the escape pod of the pilot named Kane leaves the scene. An offer of a battleship duel declined by the Typhoon pilot

Somewhere in the vast nothingness...

...a comm speaker comes to life

"Hey there the best sister in the whole wide universe"

"You lost another Rifter? Didn't you?" says Keira in an almost mocking tone, in fact, it was straight out mocking, no almost about it and she adds "I'm also your only sister"

"Well yeah, but I would of had him were it not for a few small technicalities"

"A few small technicalities? Let me guess, you attacked him?" she says, the tone of her voice that of someone who has had to deal with a lot of torment due to her big brothers actions.

"Of course I bloody attacked him, took me five minutes to get him to shoot first"

In the darkness of her pod, Keira raises her palm to her face

"Where the hell are you? Haven't seen you in Gus for a bit and I know you're not hanging out in highsec with Kenny"

"I'm in Catch" she says, rubbing her temples as her brother had the innate ability to cause headaches, as much for others as for himself.

"What... The... Fuck... Are you doing in Catch?"

"Remember that wormhole you chased a Drake through last week?" she asks and before Kane gets a chance to answer "Well it turns out it's a nice pocket of zerosec, just grinding some security status back"

"What the fuck is security status?"

"That thing that allows you free travel through high security space, the thing that labels you as a delinquent, a ne'er-do-well, a trouble maker... Kane Bloody Rizzel... That's security status and I kind of need it if I'm to move stuff for the corporation and for you" She says, readying herself for the inevitable.

"This might be a dumb question, but why do you, of all people need to grind security status? It's not like you get your hands dirty, I do all the bloody heavy lifting"

"A few days ago you wanted to kill two Ravens running the Eifer Gauntlet, in an effort to catch both of them you asked me for help, I got a Heavy Interdictor and came along" she starts...

"I know, I was there"

...After a moment she continues "As you are well aware, as you were there... The Ravens never bloody well showed up, so you killed a Ferox instead and being one of the faster lockers, I tackled the pod so you could ransom"

"He didn't pay, what an idiot"

"For sending someone home via the clone vats comes with a heavy price and as I was involved my security status dropped below zero"

"He should have bloody paid... Soooooooo, when you coming back?

"Not for a while, I'm liking it out here, it's very... Peaceful" and with that she closed the conversation with the flick of a switch.

The peace and quiet was just what she needed.

The Mighty

"Yes, bugger all that." said Nanny. "Let's curse somebody."
-- Even Nanny Ogg gets upset occasionally
(Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)

Two Drakes, Hurricane, Rupture, Rifter, Vagabond and a Probe are reportedly milling about the Emolgranlan gate in Eifer, the intel channel abuzz with chatter about engaging.

I'm not one for debating tactics in a committee, so I grabbed the biggest, meanest ship I own (Mainly because I would need massive buffer because I still had GCC from killing a Hurricane only moments earlier) and made my way over.

Intel was a bit dodgy so an associate was sent ahead to ascertain just how much of a pickle I was about to get myself into.

The bulk of the hostile force were made up of The Hatchery, a good bunch of souls up for a fight. One of the Drakes was from a different corp, the same for the Hurricane and the Vagabond but they were all on the gate and I'm pretty sure they were all up to no good.

I jump in and make warp to Emo gate, saying something in the Intel channel that I'm going in.

Nanny Ogg, my trusted Abaddon class battleship lands at zero and I lock up everything. Primary is a Drake, I'm not too fussy as to name and just start shooting, I put tackle on the rifter and send a flight of warrior IIs after him, he gets out in structure as he was smart enough to move out of tackle range.

Ships jump out or warp off, eventually I snag the Rupture, a Drake jumps back in and I start shooting it once again. Orias V has joined me in his Myrmidon and a Drake and Hurricane primary him. I'm taking sentry fire and deep into armour. Drake jumps out and I change to the Hurricane, it's just about to go down as Nanny Ogg, the Mighty Nanny Ogg says her last goodbye to the universe.

I hurried back to Gusandall and grabbed Daft Wullie, an Armageddon class battleship, I went back and I engaged the hostiles for a bit but the heart had gone out of the fight. They all went their separate ways leaving me alone at the gate rather unsatisfied.

A rather unsatisfying day all round really, need something epic to keep my spirits up :)

Get the kettle on

"Nac mac Feegle wha hae!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)

Another slow day in the Evannater constellation of Heimatar. The little pockets of excitement just about enough to keep me entertained.

The Hatchery

Seems these guys have settled in Emolgranlan and are making trips into lowsec. It's always good to have eager neighbours. They were the first to experience Kane Camp™ and today they decided to use a bait Maelstrom outside Gusandall station.

So I grab Nac Mac Feegle, an Armageddon class battleship and proceed to undock. The Maelstrom has started to engage a Pilgrim but the Pilgrim is at good range, he then lights me up and proceeds to shoot at me.

Well, I'm not one to pass up an invitation, I shoot back. Trap is sprung and local fills up. No biggie, two Megathron battleships from Mean Corp undock.

A Maelstrom, Drake, Rupture, Caracal and Merlin all proceed to pick on me. Maelstrom has a good tank, the Merlin who had decided to wander a touch to close to a flight of Warrior IIs I had set on him explodes, my armour has been eaten away but there's no retreat, no surrender, Kane stays till the job is done or he has to warp his pod out.

Maelstrom goes down, an epic tank but then I explode almost simultaneously. I hesitate slightly but manage to get my pod out unscathed. The Rupture gets violenced while the Drake and Caracal turn tail.

A good fight and I like these guys, they're not scared to shoot first and it makes a difference fighting someone who doesn't always rely on sentry fire on their side. I look forward to plenty more fights with them.

Carry on...

I'm just chilling, relaxing, when a channel I frequent lights up with news of a carrier running a mission somewhere in Molding Heap, about 16 jumps away as the crow flies. I grab Daft Wullie, my new Armageddon battleship start making my way over. It's a carrier, we pirates will travel a long distance for a prize such as a capital ship.

About six jumps out, a report from the scout puts a damper on my day as it seems the carrier has left system and there will no longer be coffee and cookies :(

I disconsolately make my way home.

The Assault

A Jaguar assault frigate is spotted in Gus, bouncing safes and belts. I grab Flubber, my Stabber Fleet Issue or as has become common tongue, the SFI.

Assault frigates have become deadly against bigger ships as there small size and exceptional agility makes it hard for bigger calibre guns to track them. In the hands of a skilled pilot they would eat just about anything.

Flubber however is not just anything, it is a very old and proud cruiser which has been with me for the better part of two years, it still sports large rigs. By using her onboard scanner I pinpoint the Jag to be at planet V.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

I drop warp at the planet right on top of the Jag and engage, he duly obliges by shooting back. He starts off with a bit of tracking disruption and scramming my MWD, I just navigate to mitigate transversal and hit him hard, it does help that Flubber has a few tricks up her sleeve which nobody bloody expects.

His shields now gone I decide it's time to drop a flight of Warrior IIs to expedite the fireworks, the Jag kindly explodes and he warps his escape pod out just in the nick of time before my lock resolves.

A good fight.

A tale of two frigates

A Taranis interceptor is chilling off the station in Gusandall, the pilot seems somewhat familiar but no matter, I grab Rincewind, my trusty Rifter class frigate. This should be interesting as a Taranis is quite formidable in either of it's popular variants.

As my Rifter exited the undock of the station, she was welcomed by the light of the Gusandall star, the Ranis lit its micro warp drive and closed rather sharply, he wasn't outlaw so I had to wait for him to engage, else my Rifter wouldn't be long for the verse under sentry fire. This of course gave him the lead, damage wise but once he engaged it was game time. With my afterburner lit, warp scrambler and stasis web kick in, with my guns and rockets overloaded for maximum damage and the armour repper doing the same to cope with the incoming damage we danced a merry waltz around each other.

The fight itself was rather short, as are most encounters with a Taranis...

















But the Taranis ran out of structure and exploded. To the victor the spoils as I grab the loot and make haste to a safespot.

Good fight Cozmik R5, a fellow blogger and where I recognized his name from :)

I dock up and get the kettle on, could use a cup of tea right now, been an indifferent day but in truth an enjoyable one. Time to sort through the loot :D

Stay strong and never surrender

The gate camp

It is the fate of all banisters worth sliding down that there is something nasty waiting at the far end.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Maskerade)

I'm reliably informed there's a small gatecamp of seven ships currently presiding over the Gusandall gate in Eifer.

Eifer is my home, people are guests and we can't be having guests taking liberties. So I grab my Geddon undock from Gusandall station and warp over to the Eifer gate.

My associate reports Drake, Harby, Rupture, two Blackbirds (Although one mysteriously disappears) an Atron and two Rifters.

I take a breath and jump on through.

I hold gate cloak for a second and get a better picture of what's about to go down. It's time to introduce The Hatchery to Gate camping, Kane Rizzel style.

I drop cloak and pulse my MWD to get closer to the gate. This accomplishes two things, one, it gets me good range on the single Blackbird now left on the scene and two, it makes it look like I'm trying to run.

The camp engages with all it's might and it is now the time of the hammer. I drop a flight of sentries and light the Blackbird up with some Mega Pulse fire, at close range and with multifreak crystals it melts in two volleys. With the most annoying ship out of the way it's time to work on the DPS. Harbinger is my first port of call.

It's like Guy Fawkes night in Eifer as the fireworks cascade over the Gusandall gate and in hindsight my call of going for the Harby was wrong, it takes forever to go down. Once down I switch to the Drake, which would have been the right call.

I run out of buffer as the Drake hits armour. I warp my pod out and offer good fight in local and a round 2 if they were up for it.

They bailed :(

And thus I initiated The Kane Camp™ whereby you jump into a camp, kick the fire over, swear at the attendees and try beat up as many of them before they beat you up
There are rules to Kane Camp™
•No jumping out
•No logistics
•NO FUCKING ECM!!!!!
•No smack
•Punch em in the face but remember to warp your pod out

Don't be foolish though, if they have too many ECM boats you ain't going to bloody any noses. Intel is important, don't jump blind.

My current Geddon fit is being tweaked for Kane Camp™ and so are my tactics, I learnt quite a bit from the fight.

Been an unproductive day, only a Succubus soloed with a Rifter, a Myrmidon with Mean and Sprouts and the two recounted here.

Stay strong and never surrender o7

The upper hand

Kane Rizzel > you know it's bait, everybody knows it's bait, even the bait knows you know but he still wonders why the fuck you're attacking... and that my friends is when you have the upper hand

And the winner is...

- "ALL YOU CAN HOPE FOR IS THE MERCY OF HELL."
- "Yeah?"
- "JUST OUR LITTLE JOKE."
- "Ngk," said Crowley.
-- Crowley in conversation with his superiors
(Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

Thank you everyone who participated :)

One of my favourites just happened to be posted by Mr Anonymous, a very secretive person who unfortunately is not a Billion ISK richer this evening.

Rockets to be buffed
Carebears say Eifer is safe
Kane: violence boats

It's very important to post your name if you comment :)

Another one that caught my eye was this:

Dranaarus said...

Bottom line, if it's something that will bring you more joy than frustration then I say go for it.

Please contact me at your earliest convenience sir I have a Pirate frigate with your name on it.

Nitor1013Z, Memoocan and Station Container, if you could also please contact me ASAP, I have some Piratey goodness for the three of you for your submissions.

The winner however was a masterful entry by none other than Nashh Kadavr who's entry titled Welcome Back was without peer.

Thanks again for participating and I'll catch y'all in space 07

Kane

Four days left... One Billion ISK to be won

In the Beginning

It was a nice day.
-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

I said here that the competition would last until I had some leave, well I found out said leave begins on Sunday night for nine days.

So... Sunday night, 17th October 2010 @ 2300 eve-time will be the deadline for entries. Please post links or the entry itself here. A decision will be made in due time and I will then announce the winner and deliver the prize ASAICBA ;)

There's already a couple of very strong contenders but I encourage you to be creative, original and maybe just downright hilarious.

Hugs and Kisses

Kane

Stay strong and never surrender.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun

The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This is a fact well known even to Corporal Nobbs. It's also wrong. There's a fifth element, and generally it's called Surprise.
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

It goes a little something like this:

XXXX > Drake on scan, probes out

Kane Rizzel > I'm warping to Ingunn gate in Hurricane
Keira Rizzel > I'm on my way too for command bonuses with a Claymore

XXXX > Have a hit on the Drake, warping to it now... Landed 15 clicks off, gogogo!

Kane Rizzel > Jumping... In warp, Keira get in here, no time to safe up, just get those command links running.
Keira Rizzel > Roger roger.

XXXX > Moving off warp-in, good hunting o7

Kane Rizzel > Landing... tackled, commencing negotiations.

Crapulo > good show

And so it was, a total of one minute and 30 seconds from the time my rather specialised associate reported the Drake, till it was probed out, violenced and negotiated with for the contents of it's hold and fittings. So very kind of him to get most of the anomolies contents safely secured within the wreck of his ship, a good haul.

Much of my success has been down to these highly skilled associates, whether it was Keira in her Cheetah or this new breed of covert operatives, in ships with equipment and skills that far exceed anything Keira was ever able to achieve. Their knowledge of the area and ability to get into a system and probe out a target and make sure not to spook the target is something that I can not value enough.

Today has been interesting, have been called a noob, by myself, as I jumped a Bhaalgorn into highsec but remained calm enough to get out in one piece (I'm pro at jumping into highsec, enough so that I'm pro at getting out too)

Have been accused of hotdropping. Yes, hotdropping. Two Abaddons disrupting a gang of battleships harassing some POS in the middle of nowhere is now hotdropping. I must be getting old.

It's been a good day.

Stay classy and never surrender

Hold on to your hair... I'm going in

Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Strata)

"Arbitrator, Merlin & Wolf... I'm going in."

I'm in a Fleet Stabber... And I want to kill.

Thus far I have failed to catch a stabbed Typhoon running the Eifer gauntlet. I have failed to effectively solo two carriers with my Bhaalgorn (aka playing bait), in fact, I failed to even get them to shoot back.

But back to the here and now, there's three seemingly innocent dudes, in a belt, in Eifer. Time for Kane to get back to work.

"Oh hey Mandaro, long time, want to kill some folk? I have this here Arbitrator tackled, oh look, his friends are shooting me, woe is me. Wait what, I'm being tracking disrupted, spidey senses say tracking speed. Right, change of plan, how about you stay still, see these webs and scram, that's right, you're going nowhere... NOWHERE. I'll just stop orbiting and close distance making your devious ploy of tracking disrupting my guns about as useful as an asshole on my elbow. That's right, not so clever now, see my buddy over there in that Dramiel, he's making sure your buddies don't run away"

This is my Stabber Fleet Issue, there are many like it, but this one is mine.

"Mandy, the Arby is dead, let's dispatch this Wolf and Merlin and go have some cookies"

A good fight.

But wait, there's more, they come back.

"Rupture, Griffin & Crucifier... I'm going in... Again"

"Mandy, what the hell are you flying? And why does it have Police lights, this isn't GTA motherfucker... Nevermind, I have this Rupture tackled. His friends have just come in, I'm still shoo... What?, What the? yep, I seem to be jammed, the frickin Griffin has me jammed. I'm locking... No I'm not, I'm jammed again...









Locking... JAMMED...












Keira, what the hell? Where the hell you come from?"


"Listen you idiot, you can't fight if you can't even target anything so shut up and just be thankful I'm saving you an embarrassing loss, besides, looks like I got here just in time, you don't seem to have been paying attention to your armour at all"

Keira's Guardian, Mandaro's space police ship and Aiko's Onyx cause my three attackers pause for thought and they bail. AN interesting fight and one I may have lost, in fact I'll count it as a loss even though the SFI survived.

I love this Stabber, it still has large rigs on it and tonight was the closest I've come to losing it.

C'est la vie

The competition is still running by the way.

One Beeeellion ISK

"Not a man to mince words. People, yes. But not words."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

So what's cracking? Fill me in on what's happening in the world of EVE... Please.
Reading various websites about the goings on of CCP and EVE Online is enough to give an aspirin a headache, so I turn to you, the players of EVE to educate me.

Three optional patches to fix a patch? Micro-transactions? Rocket boost? (Rocket Spec IV represent)
Is this all just an elaborate troll?

I miss EVE, I truly do. There's nothing quite like the social aspect of the game to be found anywhere. Sure you can have fun with other games but EVE is about people and while from my point of view, CCP doesn't really care about the people that pay them to play their game, it's the people that make the game what it is.

Kane Rizzel has been running around Battlefield Bad Company 2 stabbing wookies and reviving fallen comrades with shock paddles, but I don't know any of these comrades. He has also been enjoying the Medal of Honor open beta but again doesn't know any of these people.

Now you'll ask yourself why I care? Why a solo pirate who shied away from flying with others in an MMO would seek the company of others?

Well, I like to talk, I never shut up, unless you're an attractive woman then I clam up and can't get a word out. But EVE was probably the best chat client, ever. You got to shoot stuff and talk with other people shooting stuff, fucking brilliant.

Here I am, on the raggedy edge, undecided. I turn to my readers, what's left of them for help, but this help will not go unrewarded.

One Billion ISK to the person who presents the most compelling reason/s for me to return.
It can be anything from art, poetry, threats or fiction. Be creative but also informative, like you're trying to sell the game to the most discerning of Pirates.
Deadline for entries will be when I have some leave in a few weeks time (Can't remember when I booked it for but I know I booked some leave... I think)

Will the Rizzels and associates make a return to New Eden?
Will Kane ever find happiness?
Will Justin Bieber ever hit puberty?

It's up to you :)

Oh, bee tea double you, I've been clean and clear for 16 weeks \o/

Huggs and kisses

Kane

Stay strong and never surrender

Real Life: An MMO without boundaries

Hello there :)

I... Am... Still... Alive.
And stronger than ever.

Almost two months since CCP gave me the opportunity to kick yet another nasty habit, I thought I'd give an update.

I am now eleven weeks Clean and Clear. I quit smoking, drinking and drugs. At the time I also needed to get rid of other disruptive crutches in my life and EVE had to go. I still miss the game, the friends I had made and especially chatting to the guys from Mean Coalition.

I am however not coming back... Not just yet :) I won't say never but real life has become more interesting to me than games.

In this time away I've started running again, gone on dates, braved nightclubs sober and not punched anybody, failed at the dating :) hung out with friends and watched a ton of movies.
I started playing other games and learnt I really suck at FPS although I giggle like a motherfucker every time I stab a sniper aka wookie in Bad Company 2.
I have in general just enjoyed life.

Y'all stay strong and never surrender :)
Hugs and Kisses

Kane

[OOC] The straw

It seems CCP is shitting all over its player base and is seemingly going to ignore critical issues for other shiny and useless things that the players of their main cash maker don't give a flying fuck about.

Now, while I have really enjoyed my many years playing their game, I can not and will not continue to give them money while the game I love continues on a downward spiral.

CCP have stated that EVE is, from a technical standpoint, in better shape than it's ever been. Shit, how bad has it been in the past? And how the fuck have we not noticed? Cause it's in a shit shape right now with regards to lag, database issues, connectivity issues etc.

Yes, I'm mad, but not mad enough to continue wasting money. Just a few loose ends to tie up and then I'm offski.

It's been real.

Stay Classy

911 what's your emergency?

A friend of a friend engaged a Drake, in a belt, in Ingunn, with his Hurricane.

Now the more savvy amongst you are going to say "But Kane, surely it was bait?"

Well... Yeah!

So our friend's friend mentions in a shared friendly intel channel that now there's another Drake, and a wolf and they have commenced hostilities against his Hurricane.

He was fighting back admirably but there was just too much fire-power being dealt to his Hurricane...

"HAVE NO FEAR FRIEND, GUSANDALL 911 IS... ON... THE... WAY!"

With a few of the M34N crew hanging about and some friends from Jovian Enterprises, a blob of some significance descended upon the belt where our friend's friend was being violenced.

Six brave souls ventured forth and outblobbed the three mighty warriors from Everset Dropbears who had by now vanquished our friend's friend's Hurricane.

First order of business was dispatching their Wolf, which we did, then onto the primary Drake, which I had pointed, Laneth had pointed the secondary Drake as our 3 battlecruisers, 1 heavy assault cruiser and two faction cruisers opened hostile negotiations for cessation of hostilities.

Props to the Dropbear Drakes, solid tanks but just not solid enough, as our blob, blobbed out the stars, they went down, like the prom queen at the after party.

The Dropbears were gracious in defeat and even offered "GF" in local, no mention of our massive Blob however :(

All loot went to our friend's friend to help get him back on his feet again.

Stay Classy

Zing

You never ever volunteered. Not even if a sergant stood there and said, "We need someone to drink alcohol, bottles of, and make love, passionate, to women, for the use of." There was *always* a snag. If a choir of angels asked for volunteers for Paradise to step forward, Nobby knew enough to take one smart pace to the rear.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay)

Sometimes you just get lucky and targets come to you.

I entered my hangar and spotted an intel channel lit up like a xmas tree. The locals were mustering for a fight as a large fleet of Electus Matari were in the area but as soon as we got our shit together the fight had left for highsec.

So we sulked a bit and then things started to kick off.

The majority of our gang were in battleships due to the nature of the Electus Matari fleet but once they had departed we were left with nought to do but wait for targets. They eventually came in the shape of Drakes, Harbingers and Hurricanes, two of each, coming from different directions.

Myself and Uma bear were at the Emol gate in Eifer, the rest of the gang were at the Gus gate, Drake jumps into them from Gusandall. Drake, Harbinger, Harbinger, Hurricane and Hurricane jump into myself and Uma bear. I get tackle on Drake and we engage, whilst the rest of the hostiles warp down to the the Gus gate. Uma and I kill the Drake as a fight kicks off down Gus gate. I warp at zero in Nanny Ogg, my Abbadon, the fight is about 70 clicks away but no matter, scorch gets loaded and boom. Drake and two Harbingers down, two Hurricanes run away. We did lose a friend in a Rifter... Good fight.

Whilst waiting out my GCC, an associate spots an Abbadon, three Stabbers and a Rifter loitering at planet 4 in Gus. I grab the Ghetto Bhaalgorn and warp myself in between them. I lock the Baddon, Stabbers and Rifter up, primary the Baddon and start pew pewing.

I mention on vent that I have a little fight going and before realising I could probably solo the lot, I asked if any of the locals would like a bite. I recognise one of the Stabber pilots as an unlucky fellow whose Scorpion ran afoul of the Ghetto Bhaal last night. They didn't last very long as the sharks went into a feeding frenzy.

Once the dust settled another small gang blew through Gus but only a Dramiel swung by to see what was up and got promptly tackled and webbed from about 50 km and got popped by battleships and a battlecruiser.

Then what seemed like a rematch from earlier was on the cards, but escalated in size. the small battlecruiser gang had turned into a small battleship gang and we hastily reshipped from mainly recons and heavy assault ships to battleships.

I got the Ghetto Bhaalgorn ready for some hot action and I would bait as I volunteered to get the ball rolling.

As I undocked it seemed the hostiles jumped into Eifer but scouts reported them re-approaching the gate. I land at zero, hostiles start to jump in, Kane is Primary...

THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!

The kitchen sink was well and truly thrown out the door, two Typhoons, two Dominix, two Armageddons, a Hurrican, Brutix and stealth bomber of some sort start engaging little ole me, a Scorpion warps in at range and starts jammin.

Our now rather large fleet warps in with Kurtz calling primaries, secondaries, neut targets & tackle targets. I'm having a ball, the versatility of the Bhaal been shown to full effect as I shoot the primary, web the secondaries, neut the geddons and just generally go mad.

At 50% armour there's a moment when I'm asked if I can de aggress, as the Scorp is making remote repping of my Bhaal a bit difficult, but their DPS is dropping as they encounter what is know in these parts as the Gusandall Initiation. At 32% armour I'm starting to think about de agressing but I just say I'm fine and we deal with the rest of the ships that lie before us, one domi managing to de agress and jump out, the Scorp, Brutix, Hurricane and stealth bomber able to stay out of range of tackle and bug out..

I love MEAN, calm throughout the fight and boy what a fight.

Thanks for coming to Gus, please call again.

Stop, it's Hangar Time

A while back I read a blog about the contents of somebodies hangar.

Here's mine



There's a lot of stuff and a lot of it is very old, some of it pre dates a few nerfs and will probably never be flown again, a kind of museum to the glory days of ultra fast ships and ludicrous speed.

Click image for better view.

New blog header

Sassy B of i drawed sum spaceships! fame has designed a new blog header for this here blog and oh... my... god!

The Bhaalgorn, my favourite battleship has replaced the Rifter, my all time favourite ship and icon of most of my forum signatures and blog headers.

Much appreciated and I am in awe of your skill.

Got point?

People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to a sticky end. All over the entire room, sometimes.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

Another quiet evening in Eifer passes with nought but a few casual travellers. Intel chanels are dead with nobody around or awake. Commando Jaxx and I standing sentry over our favourite hunting ground.

"JAXX, CYNO IN EIFER!, YOU SEE IT?"

"Yep, up near Emol Gate"

WHAT... THE... FUCK!

I warp to the Cyno and there sits a Nidhoggur, next to a Helios that popped the beacon, RIGHT ON TOP OF THE EMOLGRANLAN GATE!

Nidhoggur

Essentially a pared-down version of its big brother the Hel, the Nidhoggur nonetheless displays the same austerity of vision evident in its sibling. Quite purposefully created for nothing less than all-out warfare, and quite comfortable with that fact, the Nidhoggur will no doubt find itself a mainstay on many a battlefield.

Minmatar Carrier Skill Bonuses:
50% bonus to Capital Shield and Armor transfer range per level
5% bonus to Shield and Armor transfer amount per level
99% reduction in CPU need for Warfare Link modules
Can fit Tactical Logistics Reconfiguration modules
Can deploy 1 additional Fighter or Drone per level
200% bonus to Fighter control range


I lock both up, as is my way, with my Fleet Stabber but don't aggro as I can't tank sentries for too long. A Hound stealth bomber drops cloak and aggros me and is not very long for this verse as I lock and pop him in one volley.

The something miraculous happens, the carrier aggros me.

EXCELLENT, YOU'RE MINE NOW!

I lay down the sweet, sweet tackle while Jaxx warps in, both of us shouting and screaming in any intel channel that would listen that we needed support and DPS.

Keira had docked in Gusandall and took her sweet time deciding which ship to bring but I told her to bring a fucking Broadsword, which she eventually did. Stratego had joined us with Celebra following closely behind in Neut/RR Dominix.

Once we were sure the Niddy wasn't going anywhere I headed back to Gusandall to grab something with a bit more punch, Havelock Vetinari, my Bhaalgorn, my Precious.

With the Niddy's armour tank about to experience major capacitor issues, a few other friends came in to help finish him off, Hoffe in an Abaddon and The SoulCrusher in an Armageddon.

The extra DPS helped and it was a weird engagement as neutrals and reds kept jumping in, watching what was going on and then getting out of dodge.

The carrier eventually went down after what seemed an age.

Ten minutes from initial tackle till support arrived, another half hour or so for us to drop it with a small gang, right next to a highsec entry gate, with neutrals and a few reds just passing by.

Props to those that heard our shouts and came to help, much appreciated guys.

I love my job :D

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS KILLED KENNY!

In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies)

It's not always a pleasure to lose ones hard earned spaceship, although I take great pleasure in relieving others of theirs.

What goes around comes around though and karma has a funny way of paying back whatever misdeeds one may have done.

A quiet afternoon in the Evanatter pocket of Heimatar saw my cousin and associate Kenny Rizzel doing some plex work in neighbouring systems that were probed out by another associate. On his way back to Emolgranlan he reported a Myrmidon battlecruiser sitting on the Gusandall gate in Eifer. Being a PvP novice and in a rather expensive Tengu, he decided we would try and bait the Myrm into action. He locked him up but the Myrm didn't bite.

I undocked in a Harbinger and made best speed to the Eifer gate as Kenny had decided to fire ze missiles at the Myrm.

Myrm was at half armour when I jumped in and instantly engaged and it was then that local filled up with the Myrmidon's support. Kenny was at good range but I was in it till the death. The Myrmidon went down, I switched to one of the Hurricanes, Kenny bails as a Taranis starts in on him. Fair enough, he is not set up for combat. I hit the hurricane hard but a swarm of ECM drones wreak havoc with my sensors and I lose the ability to target my aggressors.

My Harbinger goes down, good fight, if a little one sided, I get the pod out sharpish to the safety of an alliance controlled POS in system.

Kenny has his very first Global Criminal Countdown but has no safespots in system so I tell him to warp to my position.

"Is it safe"

Of course it is, you're a Rizzel, you're all blue to the alliance.

He warps to my position after entering the forcefield password and bounces off the shields.

"Kane?"

Hold on little buddy, I'm just busy...

"KANE! THE FUCKING POS HAS ME LOCKED, SCRAMMED AND NEUTED!"

Double you tea eff mate?

Kenny is not able to get away as the Alliance controlled POS reduces his mighty Tengu to nothing more than some debris in space.

I watch on helplessly as my cousin is obliterated by friendly fire.

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS KILLED KENNY!

Yes, that was a 2billion ISK Tengu that got evaporated by friendly fire. Kenny took it surprisingly well, just asking that anything that survived be returned to him. Myself? I was a bit more upset, I've only recently given up smoking (5days now \o/) and this wasn't helping my mood. I don't mind losses in combat, whether it being blobbed, baited or ECM'd (OK, y'all now I hate ECM) but this was a very hard pill to swallow.

I headed back to Gusandall and docked up, said sorry to Kenny who had just arrived at his HQ in Emolgranlan and decided to take a rather long walk to clear my mind.

I could really use a cigarette but need to stay strong.

Why? Why indeed

He nodded to the troll which was employed by the Drum as a splatter [footnote: Like a bouncer, but trolls use more force].
-- Nobby takes Carrot for a drink in The Mended Drum
(Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

It had been a slow night in the Evannater pocket, with only bits and bobs braving the perils of lowsec. We caught a Drake and Moa trying to run the gauntlet and then patiently waited for a Maelstrom to come back, which he did... And then promptly died.

The pick of the litter was a Typhoon that headed to Endrulf after having been spotted by scouts jumping into Eifer. A scout quickly positioned herself in Endrulf and confirmed the target was indeed in system. I, of course positioned myself on the other side in Eifer and was pleased when the scout reported the Phoon landing and jumping into me.

Awesome, I had support on tap next door in Gusandall but decided to go it alone. The Phoon drops jump cloak and makes a bee line back to the Endrulf gate, I engage my micro warp drive as my lock resolves and tackle kicks in, I get a good bump off and stop his return to the safety of highsec.

He doesn't fight back, in the vane hope of getting back to the gate and not getting aggro that would stop him from accessing said gate. He explodes in spectacular fashion as the last of my sentry drones die to the gate sentries.

What follows is the local outburst:

Alaric Stonewood > fuck you
Kane Rizzel > :)
Alaric Stonewood > why ?
Alaric Stonewood > you fucker
Kane Rizzel > why not?
Alaric Stonewood > ill find you kick your fucking ass
Alaric Stonewood > that was my best ship
Kane Rizzel > sweet
Alaric Stonewood > why would you do sush a thing
Kane Rizzel > come back soon now ya hear

Soon after, he opened a private conversation with me:

Kane Rizzel > sup
Alaric Stonewood > dood not cool why do you fuck like this ship was new
Kane Rizzel > so were my drones that died to sentries, you don't see me complaining
Alaric Stonewood > 60million
Alaric Stonewood > dood 60 million
Kane Rizzel > you want to give me 60million?
Alaric Stonewood > no thts what you need to pay me
Kane Rizzel > I don't need to pay you jack
Alaric Stonewood > first time in low sec
Alaric Stonewood > why kane
Alaric Stonewood > why me
Kane Rizzel > because I'm a pirate, it's what I do
Kane Rizzel > and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, next time be more careful about where you fly
Alaric Stonewood > i could have blown you too bits but i showed compasion
Kane Rizzel > well, you should have exploded me then
Alaric Stonewood > ohhh god my bro is gonna kill me
Alaric Stonewood > that was his ship
Kane Rizzel > like I said, should have been more careful
Alaric Stonewood > you are the new enemy of british federation congrats
Kane Rizzel > awesome, bring friends
Kane Rizzel > we can have a war
Kane Rizzel > I'll bring cookies
Kane Rizzel > just so you know, if you want revenge, I live in Gusandall
Alaric Stonewood > haha well nice way to fuck people ill tell you that
Alaric Stonewood > ive been playing for a month an now this shit
Kane Rizzel > Welcome to the real EVE
Alaric Stonewood > well then nice welcoming party
Kane Rizzel > I do my best
Alaric Stonewood > doooooooooooooooooood
Alaric Stonewood > come on
Alaric Stonewood > i dont even have enouth money too reppay him
Alaric Stonewood > i was on a lvl 2 fuck that agent
Kane Rizzel > yeah, bad agent
Alaric Stonewood > hey just be warned my bro will chase you
Kane Rizzel > lvl 2 in a battleship is a bit overkill though
Kane Rizzel > cool, tell your bro where I live
Alaric Stonewood > yeah i know but i needed something with sufficient cargo
Alaric Stonewood > that was close
Kane Rizzel > a hauler would have attracted less attention tbh
Kane Rizzel > but if it's a warship like say a Typhoon, then, well, the sharks will come
Alaric Stonewood > ohhh dood well no worries
Alaric Stonewood > next time you see me dont pop me
Kane Rizzel > Consider this a lesson, next time you won't make such a mistake
Alaric Stonewood > yeah
Kane Rizzel > mate, I'm a pirate, if there's a chance to make isk from someone else's misery then I'm on it like a fat kid at an all you can eat buffet
Kane Rizzel > it's a good life
Alaric Stonewood > but could you at least pay somethin
Kane Rizzel > that wouldn't be financially prudent for me tbh
Alaric Stonewood > i need like 10million isks more
Alaric Stonewood > just help a bit
Kane Rizzel > you see, when you first swore at me, that was kinda the line that was crossed that made anything you said after mean very little
Alaric Stonewood > pls
Kane Rizzel > it always pays to be polite right from the start
Kane Rizzel > you take care now and fly safe o7

And that was it, I closed the convo. I'll tell the truth and say I considered helping the kid but I felt the life lesson of politeness under duress much better payment than mere ISK for a new ship.

Sure, I violated his brother's ship, but I was smiling.

Thar she blows

They say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past.
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)

It's a curiosity to me, how sometimes shit just happens. With scouts continuously feeding us information and a general intel network that spans a few regions we are able to move rather sharpish to where the hot action is.

An Orca had landed on the Eifer gate in Emolgranlan. I was busy trying to look innocent in Eifer 1-1 in the hopes two Ruptures would warp in an engage. With them firmly hugging the Emol gate I warped towards the Emol gate to try and intercept the Orca, with the hope I could get the Ruptures to engage me and spare me the sentry fire.

As I landed the Orca was busy aligning and it cloaked shortly after I arrived on the scene. I had vaguely ascertained its position and proceeded to do a few zig zags to try and decloak it. The Ruptures just sat there and watched. I was soon joined by Jaxx, Seren, The Djego and Asssassin X in his Scimitar.

Whilst we tried in vain to decloak the Orca, another landed on the Eifer gate and jumped through.

Well, fuck me sideways and call me Susan. Today was lining up to be a good day. Second Orca decloaks and we get it pointed, First Orca decloaks and warps off :(

Oh well, one is better than nothing. We proceed to pound the stricken Orca and as it hits about 75% structure the pilot ejects.

STOP SHOOTING THE FUCKING ORCA

Eventually everyone gets the message and we stop shooting. Now comes the tricky part, finding someone to come secret our prize away. After much fretting, it actually turns out that an associate of mine is capable of flying the ship and it just so happened she was in Eifer in a covops.

She warped in ejected from her covops, waited patiently for us all to unlock the Orca then casually boarded it, scooped her covops into the ship maintenance hold and warped away.

The Orca held some rather shiny toys, a good haul.

Now of course we are gentlemen of fine moral fibre, so with making mad ISK in mind I fired off this mail to the unfortunate Orca pilot:

Greetings and Salutations
From: Kane Rizzel
Sent: 2010.06.17 22:28
To: John Amrita,

Hello there

We recently became aware that you ejected from an Orca due to being fired upon by some unsavoury types in Eifer.

We are in the fortunate position to offer you the exact same Orca with the Hulk inside and all mods for the bargain price of 600Million ISK.

Should this arrangement please you then please get in contact with me at your soonest convenience and we can arrange for a contract in Emolgranlan highsec.

Regards

Kane Rizzel
Minister of Loot Acquisition

Now we wait for a few hours as he was unreachable via normal methods.

A good few days for myself, some good solo fights with the Succubus, some hilarious gate ganking of a Covetor who was too far to point but died to a single volley from my Armageddon. A decent fight which was ruined by ec-300 drones yet we still managed to kill a Tengu and Daredevil whilst the ec-300 spewing Typhoon managed to get away but it's drones still continued to jam me another 5 cycles.

Don't get me started on fucking ECM :P

Y'all stay classy

The Anshar

"I'd like to know if I could compare you to a summer's day. Because -- well, June 12th was quite nice, and..."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)

But what is the question?

19:27 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

A small fleet of miscreants assembles outside of the Lai Dai station, battleships the ship of choice and they form a conga line while they wait.

19:45 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Conga line is in full flow as 29 battleships of mixed shapes blow their vuvuzelas in local.

19:56 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

It's almost go time, The Tempest class battleship that was chosen for this mission eagerly follows an Armageddon in conga.

20:00 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Order to lign and warp to Sivala gate is given and the fleet bolts, vuvuzelas echoing throughout Uedama.

20:03 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Order is given to align and warp to Haatamo gate, to look for prey on the Jita <> Rens route.

20:13 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

With a swarm of sentry drones out, an Anshar jump freighter jumps in and aligns to Juunigaishi. It warps off as we're not sure if everyone would get lock in time.

20:15Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Scout reports that Anshar has landed 15 clicks off gate and is on autopilot.

20:16 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Order to scoop drones and warp to Juun gate given.

20:18 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Fleet lands and drops a ton of sentry drones, Anshar is given a small nudge as the pilot seems to have woken up and has queried whether he was prey.

20:20 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Entire fleet is assembled, Anshar is locked and countdown to destruction over voice comms commences

20:22 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

We get blobbed by customs, navy and CONCORD ships.



But we prevail.

Camera crews were at the ready to capture the gank.

This was Keira's first suicide gank and she handled herself exceptionally well.

Thanks go to Ralara for organising this op and to the rest of the participants for a fucking good laugh.

Oh, did I mention I'm back :P New technology has been installed and I'm good to go, Violence is imminent.

[OOC] Please fix it...

There's a thread in the Assembly Hall of the official EVE Online forums that could use your support, if both my regular readers could do so it would mean an extra two thumbs up.

It may be an exercise in futility but you just never know.

[Proposal] CCP, commit to excellence. No features left behind.

In other news, I have given in and ordered some new parts, to get the gaming rig back up and running, against the express wishes of my financial advisor.

So pretty soon my rig will be sporting:

Intel Core i7-860 Quad @2.8GHz, 8MB cache
Asus P7H55D-M EVO motherboard
16GB RAM
1GB ATI Radeon HD 5850
160GB Intel® X25-M 2.5" SSD
800W Quiet Quad Rail PSU

I decided to upgrade a few other bits as the rig was starting to show its age, over four years old, initially built to play Oblivion but I got hooked on EVE shortly after.

Much of the hardware like the DVD writer, X-fi fatality soundcard and storage drives will survive but the heart so to speak is being replaced wholesale.

Hopefully I'll be back in game soon™

Edit: Also a big congratulations to Colonel Kurtz/Laneth, the CEO of Mean Corp on becoming a father.

[OOC] It's dead Jim...

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times)

Seems that the Universe is truly out to get me, just as I start to get back into EVE a bit more my Gaming Rig decides to choke on another Graphics card.

So, out of game again for the foreseeable future, well at least no PvP with Kane but I'll probably do some low key stuff on the laptop with other characters so I'll still be around.

The drop... It is hot

Simony's eyes gleamed with the gleam of a man who had seen the future and found it covered with armour plating.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

A lone Proteus burns down on Aiko's Onyx, 160km off the Eifer gate in Gusandall. Never ones to pass up on a shiny kill the locals extend the traditional Gus welcome. My first thought was to board Havelock Vetinari, my Bhaalgorn but something about this had my Admiral Akbar senses tingling, so I boarded something a little less shiny but none the less potent, an Armageddon class battleship.

Armageddon

The mighty Armageddon class is the main warship of the Amarr Empire. Its heavy armaments and strong front are specially designed to crash into any battle like a juggernaut and deliver swift justice in the name of the Emperor.

Amarr Battleship Skill Bonus: 10% bonus to Large Energy Turret capacitor use and 5% Large Energy Turret rate of fire per level.

I undock and warp directly to Aiko's position where the Proteus has him engaged, Aiko, as is his nature of course has the strategic cruiser pointed and is firing back. I land and light the Proteus up with some Mega Pulse II cheer. I'm followed by a few others and things got a little hotter as an Arazu decloaks and pops a cyno. Order is given to align out, it seems the hotdrop is on.

A Thanatos carrier jumps in and I'm like, fuck this shit, primary the Arazu to drop it as quickly as possible so that the cyno field would drop and nothing else could jump through. Thanatos goes straight into triage and easily reps the Arazu and Proteus as we switch targets rapidly. I'm in the fight for the long haul, I'm firmly tackled and primaried by the three ships but AMAHGAHD is made of stern stuff, merely shrugging off the damage of the recon, strategic cruiser and carrier's Ogre IIs. They eventually switch primary as they hit the geddon's massive armour at 95%.

We keep switching targets and the Thanny drops out of its first triage cycle, points on, carrier, all DPS on Arazu.

I say we, yes, we decided to fight even though the danger of escalation stared us right in the face.

Thanatos drops into a second triage cycle and we start to make plans to escalate. Nomi warps his own Thanatos onto the field and we engage the offending carrier with all DPS. The Thanny pilot sends a massive wave of large ECM drones my way as he seems to have taken a personal dislike of my chiselled features. I lose lock but we now have a substantial fleet on the field. Nomi gets some capital remote armour repair love on my battleship, as once again, Kane is primary.

THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!

Lasers, missiles, projectiles and kitchen sinks were flying everywhere, it was bedlam as the hostile Thanatos came out of its second triage cycle. Again all DPS on the Arazu in case it dropped a second cyno and escalated but it wasn't long for this universe. Proteus was next on the table and it was delicious, crunchy, with a gooey centre.

Hostile Thanatos drops its third triage cycle and a friendly cyno is lit. Our neighbours and friends in Hrondedir, Jovian Enterprises, jump a Nyx super capital into the fray. Keira was on her way to get into ArKane, the NovaKane Inc Archon carrier but had technical difficulties mid warp.

Nyx

The Nyx is a gigantic homage to a figure much loved in Gallente society. The ship’s design is based on the scepter of Doule dos Rouvenor III, the king who, during his peaceful 36-year reign, was credited with laying the foundation for the technologically and socially progressive ideologies which have pervaded Gallente thought in the millennia since. Indeed, the Nyx itself is emblematic of the Gallenteans’ love for progress; packed to the ergonomic brim with the latest in cutting-edge advancements, it is a proud reminder of the things that make the Federation what it is.

Gallente Carrier Skill Bonuses:
50% bonus to Capital Shield and Armor transfer range per level
5% bonus to deployed Fighters’ damage per level
99% reduction in CPU need for Warfare Link modules
Can fit Tactical Logistics Reconfiguration modules
Can fit Clone Vat Bay
Can fit Projected Electronic Counter Measures
Can deploy 3 additional Fighters per level
Can fit 1 additional Warfare Link module per level
200% bonus to Fighter control range Immune to all forms of Electronic Warfare

All fire on the Thanatos, it hits structure as it drops out of its third triage and explodes in a massive bang that I'm sure was felt as far away as Eifer.

Keira had just managed to get the Archon undocked as the Thanatos gave up. Need to keep your wits about you girl, can't live in a Claymore forever.

'Good Fight' was shared in local, as the hostiles returned to wherever they came from. Now, while it ended very one sided, please keep in mind it did not start that way and at any point it could have gone horribly wrong for us, but fortune favours the brave and I'm glad I stayed on the field to the conclusion.

Much love to Nomi for the RR, it seems my alliance mates are getting quite good at keeping me alive.

Unfortunately Aiko would lose his legendary Onyx to a Dominix and Tengu but we avenged our fallen comrade by making the Tengu pilots day just that little bit brighter.

A good day, would have been perfect had I managed to point the Megathron at its safespot that was playing station games with his Drake buddy but you can't kill em all...

Won't stop me trying though ;)

Disappointment

The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

A Dramiel pilot had been haunting the local plex recently, ex Electus Matari and I decided to take Maurice out for a spin.

Jaguar

Name: Jaguar
Hull: Rifter Class
Role: Assault Ship

The Jaguar is a versatile ship capable of reaching speeds unmatched by any other assault-class vessel. While comparatively weak on the defensive front it sports great flexibility, allowing pilots considerable latitude in configuring their loadouts for whatever circumstances they find themselves in.

Developer: Thukker Mix

Being the brain-child of the nomadic Thukkers, it is no surprise the Jaguar is as fast as it is. Initially conceived as a way for the tribe to pack some added punch to their organized detachments, they've found it to be equally useful as messenger, scout and escort, and it is likely to become one of the most commonly-seen ships in the Thukkers' stomping grounds.

Minmatar Frigate Skill Bonus:
5% bonus to Small Projectile Turret Damage per level

Assault Ships Skill Bonus:
10% bonus to Small Projectile Turret Optimal Range per level
5% bonus to Small Projectile Damage per level

I easily caught up with the Dram and took out his drones but he was still slightly faster than me with afterburner even while webbed, I made a few fatal errors in the fight but I'll put that down to old age. It was a good fight but Maurice expired when the Dram hit about 25% armour, close, but not quite enough.

A great fight, it took a while but was worth it. Maurice was a veteran of many battles and it was a fitting end for the old boy. Time to unleash a new improved Jaguar fit upon the world :)

ISD Volunteers

Many moons ago I applied for the ISD volunteer program, I thought I could give advice to new players on what EVE was about... fast forward to this evening when out of the blue I finally got a response:

vms@eve-online.com to me, leads

show details 7:50 PM (20 minutes ago)

Greetings!


Thank you for your recent application with the Eve Online volunteer program.


In your application, you indicated a desire to participate in the ISD Team: STAR team.


Upon review of your application and your player account, we have decided not to offer you a position within ISD:STAR.


This process is separate from other ISD volunteer department applications or interviews. Someone from any of the other ISD teams may still contact you, if they approve your application.


Thank you for your interest in the program.

---ISD:STAR Team Leads.

Colour me disappointed :(

Suck it up

Always be yourself... unless you suck.
Joss Whedon

Nothing gets my black pirate heart pumping more than the prospect of a carrier kill... Well there may be one or two things but killing a carrier is right up there.

When Asssassin X reported a carrier at a POS with a small support gang it was a thing of beauty as the locals got their shit together and prepped for what would hopefully be total carnage.

With not much notice a covops was put into place and it appeared from her reports that the carrier and friends had just set up a POS in Ingunn and they were repping the shields. Scimitar, Maelstrom, Harbinger, Myrmidon and Thanatos sitting outside of the POS shields happily going about their business. The covops moved into position for a warp in, our tactic involved rushing in and burning everything, a masterful tactic it is.

The assembled fleet of Pirates was shiny to say the least, Bhaalgorns, Machariels and assorted sharp bits with dual Guardian support, there was crime to be done and gosh darn if we didn't intend to do it in style.

With the covops in position above the carrier, the order was given to jump into Ingunn and warp to her position. Like clockwork, the Mean Coalition clock ticked, then tocked and in we rolled.

Support fleet was to go first, Myrmidon primaried with Harbinger secondary, they dropped rickety tick and the Maelstrom felt the full force of the Bhaalgorn's neuts and the fleet cut through it like a hot knife through butter. Carrier was now at our mercy as the Scimitar pilot had left the field.

All fire on the Thanny. Just as he entered armour he went into Triage, which technically means epic tank, but you can't tank if you have no capacitor and Bhaalgorns fuelled by a dual Guardian battery sucked the carrier dry.

He ejected a Myrmidon just as he popped and boarded it, but unlucky for him it was dispatched sharpish. The battle only lasted about seven minutes but was deadly efficient.

With nothing else to shoot we incapped the guns of the POS and ransomed the owners, ISK for the ability to remove their POS without further loss. They agreed and have 24 hours to leave Ingunn.

Chaching! Some ISK to line our pockets and substantial loot to play with.

Mean Coalition, aggressively negotiating your safety :)

The Hunted

It was hard enough to kill a vampire. You could stake them down and turn them into dust and ten years later someone drops a drop of blood in the wrong place and *guess who's back*? They returned more times than raw broccoli.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay)

Bait Brutix on Gus station...
Of course it's a bloody bait Brutix...
Nobody in their right mind hangs about the undock of Gusandall that long without being up to something.

So what do we do?

We try the reverse bait.

Now this is not as easy as it seems, first you need a big juicy target, like say, my Bhaalgorn, which I undock.

Bhaalgorn

Named after a child-devouring demon of Amarrian legend, the Bhaalgorn is the pride and joy of the Blood Raider cabal. Though it is known to be based on an Armageddon blueprint, the design's origin remains shrouded in mystery. Those of a superstitious persuasion whisper in the dark of eldritch ceremonies and arcane rituals, but for most people, the practical aspect of the matter will more than suffice: you see one of these blood-red horrors looming on the horizon, it's time to make yourself scarce.

Special Ability: 100% bonus to Large Energy Turret damage

Amarr Battleship Skill Bonus: 15% bonus to Energy Vampire and Energy Neutralizer drain amount per level
Minmatar Battleship Skill Bonus: 20% bonus to Stasis Webifier activation range per level

Now in order for the reverse bait to work there needs to be a few critical issues to sort out. First and foremost, you can't really bait solo, it seems most of my contacts and alliance mates were passed out in the local bar.

That's ok, I can pull this off on my own... Sure I bloody can, I'm Kane Rizzel.

Secondly and this is the important part, the baitee mustn't just dock as soon as you undock :(

Unhappy with my failure to do even the simplest bait job, I dock the Bhaal and grab my Fleet Stabber, which I've had some fun with today already. Covops reports the Brutix undocks and warps towards Ingunn, at this point an associate has joined me on the hunt.

Stabber Fleet Issue

Responding to voices stating that the Stabber needed an upgrade to be viable as a fleet vessel of military standards, the Republic Fleet commissioned the creation of the Fleet Issue Stabber; a slower, hardier version of the original that packs quite a bit more firepower. Being as new as it is on the battlefield, the Fleet Issue Stabber hasn't seen many large engagements yet, but its engineers as well as Fleet command are very optimistic about its performance.

Minmatar Cruiser Skill Bonus: 5% bonus to Medium Projectile Turret firing speed and 10% bonus to Medium Projectile Turret tracking speed per level.

WayCharles, my associate in this rather devilish game of cat and mouse reports the Brutix has warped to Sotrenzur and I point my Fleet Stabber in the direction of the gate and punch warp.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

I barrel in and warp trails still pouring off my stabber as I lock the Brutix up, he replies in kind and BLOODY HELL, THE FUCKER HAS JUST ENGAGED ME... GAME ON BITCH.

The trap is sprung as intel reaches us of two Cyclones waiting on the other side of the gate have just jumped in.

I open up with some light showers of barrage ammo, as I keep well out of warp scrambler range but just enough to keep them interested. However they soon tire of chasing me and warp to the station. I warp to a spot 250km above and spy on them with my little eye.

I warp closer to about 10km off the station as we try another reverse bait whilst WayCharles reships into something with more range. The three battlecruisers start the chase, in true Benny Hill fashion I can hear Yakety Sax playing in the background. This goes on for about fifteen to twenty minutes before I have them sufficiently out of range of the station's docking radius.

The time has come, I close in on a Cyclone closest to WayCharles and tackle, he gets to about 15% hull when I stupidly lose point and he warp out but I'm quick to point the second Cyclone and we apply the hurt, meanwhile the Brutix has scarpered along with the first Cyclone. Qre and Shiln join in as the Cyclone of Pooterhead goes down. Pooterhead, the name rings a bell, a plex farmer from way back.

A great fight and capped off a good day for me, which saw me solo a gang of three Rifters in Eifer with the Fleet Stabber, an asleep at the wheel Rupture pilot who decided to take a break at a safespot in Gusandall, a curious Vexor pilot who claimed to be a little rusty in Eifer and a good trip out for the Bhaalgorn in Eifer as Mean Coalition welcomed a dual Maelstrom, Drake and Gila gang to our home (We missed the Gila)