Monday, 21 June 2010

Why? Why indeed

He nodded to the troll which was employed by the Drum as a splatter [footnote: Like a bouncer, but trolls use more force].
-- Nobby takes Carrot for a drink in The Mended Drum
(Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

It had been a slow night in the Evannater pocket, with only bits and bobs braving the perils of lowsec. We caught a Drake and Moa trying to run the gauntlet and then patiently waited for a Maelstrom to come back, which he did... And then promptly died.

The pick of the litter was a Typhoon that headed to Endrulf after having been spotted by scouts jumping into Eifer. A scout quickly positioned herself in Endrulf and confirmed the target was indeed in system. I, of course positioned myself on the other side in Eifer and was pleased when the scout reported the Phoon landing and jumping into me.

Awesome, I had support on tap next door in Gusandall but decided to go it alone. The Phoon drops jump cloak and makes a bee line back to the Endrulf gate, I engage my micro warp drive as my lock resolves and tackle kicks in, I get a good bump off and stop his return to the safety of highsec.

He doesn't fight back, in the vane hope of getting back to the gate and not getting aggro that would stop him from accessing said gate. He explodes in spectacular fashion as the last of my sentry drones die to the gate sentries.

What follows is the local outburst:

Alaric Stonewood > fuck you
Kane Rizzel > :)
Alaric Stonewood > why ?
Alaric Stonewood > you fucker
Kane Rizzel > why not?
Alaric Stonewood > ill find you kick your fucking ass
Alaric Stonewood > that was my best ship
Kane Rizzel > sweet
Alaric Stonewood > why would you do sush a thing
Kane Rizzel > come back soon now ya hear

Soon after, he opened a private conversation with me:

Kane Rizzel > sup
Alaric Stonewood > dood not cool why do you fuck like this ship was new
Kane Rizzel > so were my drones that died to sentries, you don't see me complaining
Alaric Stonewood > 60million
Alaric Stonewood > dood 60 million
Kane Rizzel > you want to give me 60million?
Alaric Stonewood > no thts what you need to pay me
Kane Rizzel > I don't need to pay you jack
Alaric Stonewood > first time in low sec
Alaric Stonewood > why kane
Alaric Stonewood > why me
Kane Rizzel > because I'm a pirate, it's what I do
Kane Rizzel > and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, next time be more careful about where you fly
Alaric Stonewood > i could have blown you too bits but i showed compasion
Kane Rizzel > well, you should have exploded me then
Alaric Stonewood > ohhh god my bro is gonna kill me
Alaric Stonewood > that was his ship
Kane Rizzel > like I said, should have been more careful
Alaric Stonewood > you are the new enemy of british federation congrats
Kane Rizzel > awesome, bring friends
Kane Rizzel > we can have a war
Kane Rizzel > I'll bring cookies
Kane Rizzel > just so you know, if you want revenge, I live in Gusandall
Alaric Stonewood > haha well nice way to fuck people ill tell you that
Alaric Stonewood > ive been playing for a month an now this shit
Kane Rizzel > Welcome to the real EVE
Alaric Stonewood > well then nice welcoming party
Kane Rizzel > I do my best
Alaric Stonewood > doooooooooooooooooood
Alaric Stonewood > come on
Alaric Stonewood > i dont even have enouth money too reppay him
Alaric Stonewood > i was on a lvl 2 fuck that agent
Kane Rizzel > yeah, bad agent
Alaric Stonewood > hey just be warned my bro will chase you
Kane Rizzel > lvl 2 in a battleship is a bit overkill though
Kane Rizzel > cool, tell your bro where I live
Alaric Stonewood > yeah i know but i needed something with sufficient cargo
Alaric Stonewood > that was close
Kane Rizzel > a hauler would have attracted less attention tbh
Kane Rizzel > but if it's a warship like say a Typhoon, then, well, the sharks will come
Alaric Stonewood > ohhh dood well no worries
Alaric Stonewood > next time you see me dont pop me
Kane Rizzel > Consider this a lesson, next time you won't make such a mistake
Alaric Stonewood > yeah
Kane Rizzel > mate, I'm a pirate, if there's a chance to make isk from someone else's misery then I'm on it like a fat kid at an all you can eat buffet
Kane Rizzel > it's a good life
Alaric Stonewood > but could you at least pay somethin
Kane Rizzel > that wouldn't be financially prudent for me tbh
Alaric Stonewood > i need like 10million isks more
Alaric Stonewood > just help a bit
Kane Rizzel > you see, when you first swore at me, that was kinda the line that was crossed that made anything you said after mean very little
Alaric Stonewood > pls
Kane Rizzel > it always pays to be polite right from the start
Kane Rizzel > you take care now and fly safe o7

And that was it, I closed the convo. I'll tell the truth and say I considered helping the kid but I felt the life lesson of politeness under duress much better payment than mere ISK for a new ship.

Sure, I violated his brother's ship, but I was smiling.


Zurakaru Ze said...

Sweet. Did he wait out the session timer before uncloaking, or did he make a beeline back?

Arrhidaeus said...

but dooooooooooooooooood!

Ha, I love it. Sounds like he needs a lesson in insurance though, if he thought he deserved 60m for a T1 battleship loss.

Latro said...

"Alaric Stonewood > yeah i know but i needed something with sufficient cargo"

Wait wat? So many lessons were taught, now whether he learned is another tale.

Fumitsugu said...

"you are the new enemy of british federation congrats"

I find it highly embarassing as a Englishman that what a appears to be a disproportionate number of Brits are eve-oiks :(

Flashfresh said...

Alaric Stonewood > i could have blown you too bits but i showed compasion

Yes, indeed.

Nice kill Kane. You rule that pocket of low-sec and you're still the best.


Anonymous said...

you are the king of the universe

Anonymous said...

Take all you can, give nothing back! - I think i heard this in pirates of the caribbean movie XD