Wednesday 30 June 2010

Got point?

People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to a sticky end. All over the entire room, sometimes.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

Another quiet evening in Eifer passes with nought but a few casual travellers. Intel chanels are dead with nobody around or awake. Commando Jaxx and I standing sentry over our favourite hunting ground.


"Yep, up near Emol Gate"


I warp to the Cyno and there sits a Nidhoggur, next to a Helios that popped the beacon, RIGHT ON TOP OF THE EMOLGRANLAN GATE!


Essentially a pared-down version of its big brother the Hel, the Nidhoggur nonetheless displays the same austerity of vision evident in its sibling. Quite purposefully created for nothing less than all-out warfare, and quite comfortable with that fact, the Nidhoggur will no doubt find itself a mainstay on many a battlefield.

Minmatar Carrier Skill Bonuses:
50% bonus to Capital Shield and Armor transfer range per level
5% bonus to Shield and Armor transfer amount per level
99% reduction in CPU need for Warfare Link modules
Can fit Tactical Logistics Reconfiguration modules
Can deploy 1 additional Fighter or Drone per level
200% bonus to Fighter control range

I lock both up, as is my way, with my Fleet Stabber but don't aggro as I can't tank sentries for too long. A Hound stealth bomber drops cloak and aggros me and is not very long for this verse as I lock and pop him in one volley.

The something miraculous happens, the carrier aggros me.


I lay down the sweet, sweet tackle while Jaxx warps in, both of us shouting and screaming in any intel channel that would listen that we needed support and DPS.

Keira had docked in Gusandall and took her sweet time deciding which ship to bring but I told her to bring a fucking Broadsword, which she eventually did. Stratego had joined us with Celebra following closely behind in Neut/RR Dominix.

Once we were sure the Niddy wasn't going anywhere I headed back to Gusandall to grab something with a bit more punch, Havelock Vetinari, my Bhaalgorn, my Precious.

With the Niddy's armour tank about to experience major capacitor issues, a few other friends came in to help finish him off, Hoffe in an Abaddon and The SoulCrusher in an Armageddon.

The extra DPS helped and it was a weird engagement as neutrals and reds kept jumping in, watching what was going on and then getting out of dodge.

The carrier eventually went down after what seemed an age.

Ten minutes from initial tackle till support arrived, another half hour or so for us to drop it with a small gang, right next to a highsec entry gate, with neutrals and a few reds just passing by.

Props to those that heard our shouts and came to help, much appreciated guys.

I love my job :D

Monday 28 June 2010


In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies)

It's not always a pleasure to lose ones hard earned spaceship, although I take great pleasure in relieving others of theirs.

What goes around comes around though and karma has a funny way of paying back whatever misdeeds one may have done.

A quiet afternoon in the Evanatter pocket of Heimatar saw my cousin and associate Kenny Rizzel doing some plex work in neighbouring systems that were probed out by another associate. On his way back to Emolgranlan he reported a Myrmidon battlecruiser sitting on the Gusandall gate in Eifer. Being a PvP novice and in a rather expensive Tengu, he decided we would try and bait the Myrm into action. He locked him up but the Myrm didn't bite.

I undocked in a Harbinger and made best speed to the Eifer gate as Kenny had decided to fire ze missiles at the Myrm.

Myrm was at half armour when I jumped in and instantly engaged and it was then that local filled up with the Myrmidon's support. Kenny was at good range but I was in it till the death. The Myrmidon went down, I switched to one of the Hurricanes, Kenny bails as a Taranis starts in on him. Fair enough, he is not set up for combat. I hit the hurricane hard but a swarm of ECM drones wreak havoc with my sensors and I lose the ability to target my aggressors.

My Harbinger goes down, good fight, if a little one sided, I get the pod out sharpish to the safety of an alliance controlled POS in system.

Kenny has his very first Global Criminal Countdown but has no safespots in system so I tell him to warp to my position.

"Is it safe"

Of course it is, you're a Rizzel, you're all blue to the alliance.

He warps to my position after entering the forcefield password and bounces off the shields.


Hold on little buddy, I'm just busy...


Double you tea eff mate?

Kenny is not able to get away as the Alliance controlled POS reduces his mighty Tengu to nothing more than some debris in space.

I watch on helplessly as my cousin is obliterated by friendly fire.


Yes, that was a 2billion ISK Tengu that got evaporated by friendly fire. Kenny took it surprisingly well, just asking that anything that survived be returned to him. Myself? I was a bit more upset, I've only recently given up smoking (5days now \o/) and this wasn't helping my mood. I don't mind losses in combat, whether it being blobbed, baited or ECM'd (OK, y'all now I hate ECM) but this was a very hard pill to swallow.

I headed back to Gusandall and docked up, said sorry to Kenny who had just arrived at his HQ in Emolgranlan and decided to take a rather long walk to clear my mind.

I could really use a cigarette but need to stay strong.

Monday 21 June 2010

Why? Why indeed

He nodded to the troll which was employed by the Drum as a splatter [footnote: Like a bouncer, but trolls use more force].
-- Nobby takes Carrot for a drink in The Mended Drum
(Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

It had been a slow night in the Evannater pocket, with only bits and bobs braving the perils of lowsec. We caught a Drake and Moa trying to run the gauntlet and then patiently waited for a Maelstrom to come back, which he did... And then promptly died.

The pick of the litter was a Typhoon that headed to Endrulf after having been spotted by scouts jumping into Eifer. A scout quickly positioned herself in Endrulf and confirmed the target was indeed in system. I, of course positioned myself on the other side in Eifer and was pleased when the scout reported the Phoon landing and jumping into me.

Awesome, I had support on tap next door in Gusandall but decided to go it alone. The Phoon drops jump cloak and makes a bee line back to the Endrulf gate, I engage my micro warp drive as my lock resolves and tackle kicks in, I get a good bump off and stop his return to the safety of highsec.

He doesn't fight back, in the vane hope of getting back to the gate and not getting aggro that would stop him from accessing said gate. He explodes in spectacular fashion as the last of my sentry drones die to the gate sentries.

What follows is the local outburst:

Alaric Stonewood > fuck you
Kane Rizzel > :)
Alaric Stonewood > why ?
Alaric Stonewood > you fucker
Kane Rizzel > why not?
Alaric Stonewood > ill find you kick your fucking ass
Alaric Stonewood > that was my best ship
Kane Rizzel > sweet
Alaric Stonewood > why would you do sush a thing
Kane Rizzel > come back soon now ya hear

Soon after, he opened a private conversation with me:

Kane Rizzel > sup
Alaric Stonewood > dood not cool why do you fuck like this ship was new
Kane Rizzel > so were my drones that died to sentries, you don't see me complaining
Alaric Stonewood > 60million
Alaric Stonewood > dood 60 million
Kane Rizzel > you want to give me 60million?
Alaric Stonewood > no thts what you need to pay me
Kane Rizzel > I don't need to pay you jack
Alaric Stonewood > first time in low sec
Alaric Stonewood > why kane
Alaric Stonewood > why me
Kane Rizzel > because I'm a pirate, it's what I do
Kane Rizzel > and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, next time be more careful about where you fly
Alaric Stonewood > i could have blown you too bits but i showed compasion
Kane Rizzel > well, you should have exploded me then
Alaric Stonewood > ohhh god my bro is gonna kill me
Alaric Stonewood > that was his ship
Kane Rizzel > like I said, should have been more careful
Alaric Stonewood > you are the new enemy of british federation congrats
Kane Rizzel > awesome, bring friends
Kane Rizzel > we can have a war
Kane Rizzel > I'll bring cookies
Kane Rizzel > just so you know, if you want revenge, I live in Gusandall
Alaric Stonewood > haha well nice way to fuck people ill tell you that
Alaric Stonewood > ive been playing for a month an now this shit
Kane Rizzel > Welcome to the real EVE
Alaric Stonewood > well then nice welcoming party
Kane Rizzel > I do my best
Alaric Stonewood > doooooooooooooooooood
Alaric Stonewood > come on
Alaric Stonewood > i dont even have enouth money too reppay him
Alaric Stonewood > i was on a lvl 2 fuck that agent
Kane Rizzel > yeah, bad agent
Alaric Stonewood > hey just be warned my bro will chase you
Kane Rizzel > lvl 2 in a battleship is a bit overkill though
Kane Rizzel > cool, tell your bro where I live
Alaric Stonewood > yeah i know but i needed something with sufficient cargo
Alaric Stonewood > that was close
Kane Rizzel > a hauler would have attracted less attention tbh
Kane Rizzel > but if it's a warship like say a Typhoon, then, well, the sharks will come
Alaric Stonewood > ohhh dood well no worries
Alaric Stonewood > next time you see me dont pop me
Kane Rizzel > Consider this a lesson, next time you won't make such a mistake
Alaric Stonewood > yeah
Kane Rizzel > mate, I'm a pirate, if there's a chance to make isk from someone else's misery then I'm on it like a fat kid at an all you can eat buffet
Kane Rizzel > it's a good life
Alaric Stonewood > but could you at least pay somethin
Kane Rizzel > that wouldn't be financially prudent for me tbh
Alaric Stonewood > i need like 10million isks more
Alaric Stonewood > just help a bit
Kane Rizzel > you see, when you first swore at me, that was kinda the line that was crossed that made anything you said after mean very little
Alaric Stonewood > pls
Kane Rizzel > it always pays to be polite right from the start
Kane Rizzel > you take care now and fly safe o7

And that was it, I closed the convo. I'll tell the truth and say I considered helping the kid but I felt the life lesson of politeness under duress much better payment than mere ISK for a new ship.

Sure, I violated his brother's ship, but I was smiling.

Thursday 17 June 2010

Thar she blows

They say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past.
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)

It's a curiosity to me, how sometimes shit just happens. With scouts continuously feeding us information and a general intel network that spans a few regions we are able to move rather sharpish to where the hot action is.

An Orca had landed on the Eifer gate in Emolgranlan. I was busy trying to look innocent in Eifer 1-1 in the hopes two Ruptures would warp in an engage. With them firmly hugging the Emol gate I warped towards the Emol gate to try and intercept the Orca, with the hope I could get the Ruptures to engage me and spare me the sentry fire.

As I landed the Orca was busy aligning and it cloaked shortly after I arrived on the scene. I had vaguely ascertained its position and proceeded to do a few zig zags to try and decloak it. The Ruptures just sat there and watched. I was soon joined by Jaxx, Seren, The Djego and Asssassin X in his Scimitar.

Whilst we tried in vain to decloak the Orca, another landed on the Eifer gate and jumped through.

Well, fuck me sideways and call me Susan. Today was lining up to be a good day. Second Orca decloaks and we get it pointed, First Orca decloaks and warps off :(

Oh well, one is better than nothing. We proceed to pound the stricken Orca and as it hits about 75% structure the pilot ejects.


Eventually everyone gets the message and we stop shooting. Now comes the tricky part, finding someone to come secret our prize away. After much fretting, it actually turns out that an associate of mine is capable of flying the ship and it just so happened she was in Eifer in a covops.

She warped in ejected from her covops, waited patiently for us all to unlock the Orca then casually boarded it, scooped her covops into the ship maintenance hold and warped away.

The Orca held some rather shiny toys, a good haul.

Now of course we are gentlemen of fine moral fibre, so with making mad ISK in mind I fired off this mail to the unfortunate Orca pilot:

Greetings and Salutations
From: Kane Rizzel
Sent: 2010.06.17 22:28
To: John Amrita,

Hello there

We recently became aware that you ejected from an Orca due to being fired upon by some unsavoury types in Eifer.

We are in the fortunate position to offer you the exact same Orca with the Hulk inside and all mods for the bargain price of 600Million ISK.

Should this arrangement please you then please get in contact with me at your soonest convenience and we can arrange for a contract in Emolgranlan highsec.


Kane Rizzel
Minister of Loot Acquisition
Now we wait for a few hours as he was unreachable via normal methods.

A good few days for myself, some good solo fights with the Succubus, some hilarious gate ganking of a Covetor who was too far to point but died to a single volley from my Armageddon. A decent fight which was ruined by ec-300 drones yet we still managed to kill a Tengu and Daredevil whilst the ec-300 spewing Typhoon managed to get away but it's drones still continued to jam me another 5 cycles.

Don't get me started on fucking ECM :P

Y'all stay classy

Monday 14 June 2010

The Anshar

"I'd like to know if I could compare you to a summer's day. Because -- well, June 12th was quite nice, and..."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)

But what is the question?

19:27 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

A small fleet of miscreants assembles outside of the Lai Dai station, battleships the ship of choice and they form a conga line while they wait.

19:45 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Conga line is in full flow as 29 battleships of mixed shapes blow their vuvuzelas in local.

19:56 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

It's almost go time, The Tempest class battleship that was chosen for this mission eagerly follows an Armageddon in conga.

20:00 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Order to lign and warp to Sivala gate is given and the fleet bolts, vuvuzelas echoing throughout Uedama.

20:03 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Order is given to align and warp to Haatamo gate, to look for prey on the Jita <> Rens route.

20:13 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

With a swarm of sentry drones out, an Anshar jump freighter jumps in and aligns to Juunigaishi. It warps off as we're not sure if everyone would get lock in time.

20:15Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Scout reports that Anshar has landed 15 clicks off gate and is on autopilot.

20:16 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Order to scoop drones and warp to Juun gate given.

20:18 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Fleet lands and drops a ton of sentry drones, Anshar is given a small nudge as the pilot seems to have woken up and has queried whether he was prey.

20:20 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

Entire fleet is assembled, Anshar is locked and countdown to destruction over voice comms commences

20:22 Uedama, The Citadel, Security Level 0.5

We get blobbed by customs, navy and CONCORD ships.

But we prevail.

Camera crews were at the ready to capture the gank.

This was Keira's first suicide gank and she handled herself exceptionally well.

Thanks go to Ralara for organising this op and to the rest of the participants for a fucking good laugh.

Oh, did I mention I'm back :P New technology has been installed and I'm good to go, Violence is imminent.