Rep it up, before you slap it up

"And Howondaland Smith, Balrog Hunter, practic'ly eats the dark for his tea."
-- Gaspode the wonder dog
(Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

A day of mixed feelings, I lost Flubber, again, and Keira lost Feet of Clay, her Claymore command ship, to two well flown Tengus. Working on Replacing Flubber and Keira has already replaced her loss.

But that's not why we are here, life goes on, ships explode and I'm in the business of making others explode before I do. Yet another Tengu was trying to run a complex, this time in Eifer and before you knew it, an associate had the co-ordinates.

Grabbing the most capable ship as soon as I could, I undocked in Sgt Detritus, a Harbinger class battle cruiser, a fearsome machine of death and destruction, I initiate warp and check all systems.

ARMOUR CRITICAL 24%

Along with the armour damage I notice most of the weapons and electronics systems have heat damage.

"Nice one Kane, you're going into battle with half a ship

Kane Rizzel > oh christ, going after a tengu with a quarter armour



I enter Eifer as systems were primed to jump as I landed on the stargate in Gusandall (I know you can abort the jump but time was off the essence here)

Well, half a ship was better than no ship, so I warp to my associate as fast as Sgt Detritus could align. All the while my associate is checking that the mark was still inside the plex with her directional scanner.

I land on the acceleration gate and initiate warp, moments later exiting inside the complex.

As luck would have it and I was going to need a lot more in the next few moments, the Tengu was only 8km away as I landed on grid, fortuitous indeed as the merest warm breath might have melted my tackle. Systems primed, locked, cocked and open fire.

It takes the Tengu pilot a moment to figure out what is happening but when he does he opens fire, we trade blows, his shields dipping slowly but surely but my meager armour already evaporating under salvo after salvo of heavy missiles.

Do I dare overheat the pulse lasers? Take a chance? I've been lucky so far in this fight, but luck might turn and with no guns I'd either be dead or helpless to kill him forcing me to warp away with my tail between my legs.

I am Kane Rizzel!

I overheat like a motherfucker, shouting at my drones to spur them on, every last ounce of damage is needed as Sgt Detritus starts to vent fuel and atmosphere into space, the combination of the two bursting into flames before being extinguished by the vacuum, but I'm hurting, his shields disintegrate and the Tengu is not much longer for this 'verse. He explodes, a mighty explosion, a satisfying explosion.

I warp off, the loot safely retrieved and a satisfying if slightly nerve racking kill.

In other news, I've started flying a new class of battleship, will take a little getting used to as range is an issue and I've not truly tested her but she has some kills scratched on her hull already.

Edit: Just had an amazing fight with the Megathron, so I'm here to regale you with awesomeness.

There are some new neighbours taken up residence in Hrondedir and I've tussled with them a few times, stirring the hornets nest so to speak, mainly picking them off in complexes and anomalies. Seems my efforts to get a reaction out of them has succeeded.

A lone Typhoon in an anomaly, screams bait as I had watched them gather a sizeable force earlier to camp the Eifer gate, to no avail.

So... Bait!

I wanted to test the Mega and see if I liked it, an associate had already located it, set up the warpin and told me it was aligned to the station, I undock and warp to her.

I come out of warp 5 clicks in front of the Phoon and engage, drop sentry drones and open fire.

Phoon engages back, tackles me and trap is sprung, local spikes and I see Arazu, Hound, Hurricane and Falcon now in the mix. The all hit grid and a swarm of ec-300 drones engulf my Mega. I pulse the smartbomb and the pressure eases but the Falcon is well and truly messing with my targeting electronics.

I pop an exile booster and continue to tank like a Boss, not being able to shoot anything but doing damage none the less as my drones are still engaging the Phoon and my smartbomb explodes another wave of ec-300s.

One of the locals asks me if anything is going down? I calmly reply "Me"
The locals that are awake x up, a Legion, Loki and Falcon join me in mighty battle, but as they hit grid, the hostiles warp out, leaving my Megathron on fire, deep into structure, no cap boosters left but still in one piece.

The Typhoon explodes from my sentry drone onslaught and I was curious as to why he never warped out, only to see the answer in the killmail.

A cyno? I was Black Ops dropped, managed to tank them all enough for friends to bail me out and still managed a kill, FUCKING RESULT. I initially thought I had been login trapped.

An associate would later probe the Hound out, which was destroyed, the pod probed and popped for good measure



Thanks to RealZonk, Xylorn and Xintri for saving my ass :D
The logs have been parsed and this is the story of the fight:
Total Damage done to your targets: 69,300.2
Total Damage done to you: 77,776.4

•To view the images in all their glory, right click and open link in new tab

[OOC] I will also be around a lot less as I'm back to work tomorrow after a months R&R

Indestructible... NOT!

"Real children don't go hoppity-skip unless they are on drugs."
-- Susan, the ultimate sensible governess
(Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

I lost two goddamn Rifters today... TWO. These were against a corp who are fast becoming my Nemesis, Black Rebel Rifter Club. The first Rifter was lost to a rather well flown Arty Rifter, the second to a Jaguar and same Arty Rifter.

You win some, you lose some :) But it seems I will need to adjust my tactics. I think I'm going to enjoy RIFTA, like I said before, a good bunch of pilots and finally folk who are going to give as good as they get.

Other than the two devastating losses, it has been a good day for the solo Pirate, a solo kill of a Typhoon Fleet Issue at the Emolgranlan gate, an EVE Uni pilot on his own, running a plex in Eifer (I was surprised as anyone that it wasn't a trap)
A nice Vengeance kill plus 60million ISK Pod ransom and a rather fast Dramiel kill. A Merlin and Rifter rounded off the days activities.

Solo Piracy isn't dead, it never will be as long as folk keep trying, stay strong, never retreat, never surrender.

Ransom ignored, ship destroyed, bad loot drops, good loot drops and capital deployment

Greebo's technique was unscientific and wouldn't have stood a chance against any decent swordmanship, but on his side was the fact that it is almost impossible to develop decent swordmanship when you seem to have run into a food mixer that is biting your ear off.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)

Mere seconds after I tackled a Kestrel at planet 3 in Gusandall...

Sneaky Friend > Probes out, I'll have a warp in for you in a few seconds
Kane Rizzel > Warp in for what?
Sneaky Friend >The Tengu on scan! You've not spotted it?
Kane Rizzel > Not really, no, I was busy tracking this Kestrel
Commando Jaxx > Hey Kane, you want to help clear up some litter in Gus?
Kane Rizzel > Litter?
Commando Jaxx > An offline POS that some folk tried to set up
Kane Rizzel > Yeah, you're breaking up, must be solar flares bouncing off Uranus or something
Commando Jaxx > Haha, very funny, I know you hate POS shots but there isn't much else to do
Kane Rizzel > Speak for yourself, I'm chilling... Killing... And just about to make this Tengu's day a lot more interesting.

I had docked my Rifter with the loot from the Kestrel, nothing spectacular but probably worth something melted down and sold to the bottom feeders in one of the trade hubs. It only took a few seconds to board Flubber and head on out, as my sneaky friend had already got a warp in and confirmed the target still inside what was a 5/10 rated exploration complex.

Kane Rizzel > Groovy, let's rock

I activate the gate, everything overloaded in case the target is out of range of tackle but as I burst out of warp he has conveniently not strayed too far away and it's a quick pulse of my propulsion mod before I'm in range and start firing with the Tengu firmly scrammed and webbed.

I attempt to open comms to deliver my terms:

Kane Rizzel > Good evening sir, might I offer you the one time offer of a ransom of 750meellion ISK and you are free to go on your merry?

...

Kane Rizzel > 750mil, nice and cheap... Or you could eject and save yourself some schooling.

...

Kane Rizzel > Very well then, fire at Will it is then, I do feel sorry for Will, he gets shot at all the bloody time.

This is how the terms would have been offered had the hapless Tengu pilot answered the convo request, as it was, I settled for the kill and it happened without any fuss.

The Loot gods didn't smile on me as the most valuable item went up in smoke with the rest of the ship, but I had the loot safely secured in my Cargo and then asked my Cousin if he'd like to finish the 5/10.

Kane Rizzel > Hey cuz, you want to make some ISK
Kenny Rizzel > Always :)

So I gave him the details and left him to it. I joined Jaxx at the POS, set up by an old friend of sorts, Kerjin.

Our two Battleships were going to take an age to drop the tower, even as it's defences were all dormant, so yet another call to a family member went out and Keira agreed to deploy the corp Moros to aid in the take-down and make it go by a damn side quicker. Along the way we were joined by an alliance mate of Jaxx' but after three siege cycles the tower vanished from Gusandall space forever.

All the while Kenny had completed the plex and scored the very same afterburner that got destroyed in the Tengu., 400 odd mil in our pockets :D

Life is good :)

Instinct and the Brain

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Two Cynabals in Gusandall pique my interest, a challenge after a long day of nothing. I undock Flubber and warp one hundred clicks off belt 1-1, after a few minutes both Cyabals warp in at zero, I mention in local that one maybe, two... No.

So I warp to a safespot, onboard scanner shows a legion on scan too but doesn't look to be affiliated. My Brain shuts down and Instinct takes over, I warp to 1-1 at zero. Brain is shouting at Instinct "Are you fucking retarded?"

Instinct doesn't listen as he locks on the closest Cynabal and closes in, webbed and scrammed the Cynabal engages back, along with his friend. Instinct is having an awesome time, he engages with everything, overloads his guns and starts to go deep into armour but the first Cynabal is not having a good day as he explodes.

Intinct now turns his attention to the second Cyna, but his guns have melted cause Instinct doesn't pay attention to the small details, meanwhile, Brain is literally face-palming "You're such an idiot.

Instinct isn't done yet as he gets out of warp disruptor range and warps to the station to repair.

Once repaired he undocks and warps right back to the belt, not paying attention to the scanner that now shows the first Cynabal pilot back in a Loki and a Tempest joining the hostiles.

Brain asks "What are you trying to prove?"
Instinct doesn't answer, he can't really speak, he just does.

Second Cynabal is still in the belt, Instinct engages, and is doing rather well, one Cynabal no match for his mighty Flubber. Without much hassle he takes the Cyna into deep armour but by then the Cynabal's friends have landed, engaged, so Instinct makes moves to bail, Cynabal moves out of range and warps out. Instinct is victorious, a masterful display of piloting... And then he explodes, 60 odd clicks away from any hostiles.

Instinct doesn't understand, Brain just says "ArtyPest you muppet"

Instinct is at least smart enough to warp the pod out to safety.

An associate warps in to try grab some loot but suffers the same fate as Flubber, but at least the MWD died with her Cheetah.

Brain finally gets control again, as Instinct is feeling rather sheepish, Brain just says "You killed one, well fucking done, cookie for you, but did you have to go lose the bloody ship?"

Instinct doesn't reply :(

Yoink again

No one was avoiding him, it was just that an apparent random Brownian motion was gently moving everyone away.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

Sometimes, being me is too good to be true, I mean really, way too good :D

I enter Eifer in The Garbage Man, a Rifter built almost exclusively from loot, I warp to my normal scan spot and hit the onboard scanner...

ORCA...

LOKI...

In the direction of a hidden belt an associate probed out last night.

So I call said associate and ask her where these fellas are, she says she didn't bookmark it as it's a site of little consequence to her, but she knows its general where-abouts and drops core probes as not to alert them that we are looking for them. Meanwhile I head back to Gusandall to refit Flubber, I would need more points if I was going to make the most of this.

Meanwhile, Keira moved into place with her Claymore, I would need support in the shape of her gang bonuses, in case I landed a bit too far out of range of my scramblers. Our associate had scanned the site out and was busy setting up a warpin, but she reported a Covetor and Orca now, no sign of the Loki but the same two pilots, so it's safe to assume the Loki is inside the Orca.

EVE System > Channel changed to Eifer Local Channel

Our associate reports she is five clicks off the Orca and with that I jump in and warp directly to her position. I land well within range and lock both up. Covetor is first target, it goes down and pilot warps its escape pod to safety. I engage the Orca, at half shields I give terms:

Kane Rizzel > eject
Tanisha > ransom?
Kane Rizzel > 1.5bil
Kane Rizzel > you have a loki in there
Tanisha > be reasonable
Kane Rizzel >that was reasonable

The Orca ejects the Loki and and another Covetor, the other pilot warps back in his pod, in the vain hope of salvaging a little from what was quickly becoming a bad day for them. Loki is locked and scrammed, making sure it couldn't be boarded. The Orca explodes and both pods are locked and popped.

A few minutes later while I was waiting for an associate to come deal with the loot they appeared back in Eifer

Kane Rizzel > should have paid
Nimisha > you should have been reasonable, its all replacable
Kane Rizzel > loki and orca plus cargo and clones, 1.5bil was very reasonable
Nimisha > no
Nimisha > 500 mill, woulda happened
Kane Rizzel > nah, it's all good, I got a loki and a covetor, thrasher and a few killmails
Nimisha > enjoy while ya can
Kane Rizzel > ooh, I will
Kane Rizzel >thanks
Nimisha > I do hope so



I... Think... That was a threat :)

Edit: Soloing Drakes in a Rifter is the definition of cool (Sure it's not a great fit but a kill is a kill :P)

Unlucky...

"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times)

Luck is a fickle mistress, still reeling from a serious case of not having any, I decided to run around in The Cunning Man, yet to get used to this new clone, a little stiff and in need of some smiling from the Lady herself.

A Vagabond from Electus Matari had entered Eifer and I would need something a touch more... Potent.

Enter Flubber, born from the ashes of her predecessor, a Fleet Issue Stabber and a ship perfectly suited to duel the Minmatar Heavy Assault Cruiser.

I head on over to Eifer and start moving around system... Waiting... Patiently.

My patience is rewarded, belt 1-1 was to be the place as he warps in on me at 50km. There would be no Lame Kane, no Crazy Ivan's as the Vagabond comes right at me, pauses and moves off at range, overloaded webs reach out and slow him down enough for a overloaded scram, shutting off his MWD, which allow my webs to be more effective.

Flubber moseys on over, right up the Vagabonds nose, drones and ammunition already flying between us, my shields stripped, a race for survival, guns overloaded and his shields start to wane, once stripped his armour and structure become a casualty of Flubber's guns and drones.

Unlucky for the Vagabond pilot but a good fight none the less, as much shared in local

Quit while you're only losing a little

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic)

I've lost Flubber :(

Well it all started out by me fitting up a Navy Hookbill and warping to what seemed like a Navy Comet at the 2/10, turns out it was also an Enyo, Ishkur, Sentinel and Jaguar too.

Navy Comet almost goes down but the Navy Hookbill just couldn't cope with everything being thrown at it.

So Kane does what Kane would do in any situation like this, he goes back for revenge, I board Flubber and warp to the 2/10 but they have moved to the Hrondedir gate, I follow and they jump through, again I follow and they warp to the Hrondmund gate.

Instead of cutting my losses I say:

Kane Rizzel > all of you vs me?
Kane Rizzel > I'll be at the sun

:FACEPALM:

There isn't a facepalm picture big enough, even the famed Picard montage facepalm would just not do. Keira is either going to laugh at this or be extremely angry

I have given up range dictation and in essence I just threw Flubber away like she meant nothing, all these years together and I sacrifice her for no gain.

The gang warps in, Sentinel at 40km, would have been my primary but my genius is not only matched but exceeded by my stupidity.

I take the Ishkur into armour but the tracking disruption from the Sentinel is fatal, for all my skillpoints, for all my experience and bravado, this fight was lost the minute I uttered those fateful words.

I'm sorry Flubber :(

I had been looking for a fight all night, but between the residents of Broadside and Independence channels running through the area in their own gangs, I had seen zero that I could take on my own, my impatience got the better of me.

Not been one of my better weeks but I shall persevere, I shall bounce back, for I am Kane Rizzel.

Today marks nine months since I took my first steps down the Straight Edge, stay strong and never surrender :)

The Gate

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to
(a) mate with,
(b) eat,
(c) run away from,and
(d) rocks.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites)

The nano age of space combat was for some a golden age, an age where you could shoot at will and run away like a little girl once things went pear shaped. It was an age where I flew a Crusader at 63km/s, nothing could touch me and that speed was exhilarating, a drug like no other.

It was also an age of innovation, where new tactics evolved to deal with the speed and ease with which others could run away. You either were part of the problem or you tried to deal with the problem. I could go very fast, faster than anyone else, but what I really enjoyed was embarrassing fast pilots in their fast interceptors in my lowly tech 1 Rifter, which wasn't so fast but it certainly made some folk think twice about breaking the speed limit.

The nano age never really went away, it changed as technology changed and it evolved, but the tactic remained the same.

Now I've seen a few so called nano Ruptures in my time, not my thing to be quite honest but it's sort of like a poor man's Vagabond.

Now, one such Rupture was running the gates between Eifer and Gusandall and because of his speed, was being more than a little annoying to some of the locals. After they gave up trying to catch him, I waited a few minutes, for him to catch his breath, cause that amount of running isn't healthy.

There's only one ship for someone who is determined to run away when the going gets tough, only one logical choice... Flubber.

As my Stabber Fleet Issue undocks, I take a moment to appreciate the beauty of this harsh universe, the small yellow star at the center of the Gusandall solar system illuminating the sharp lines of this miracle of Minmatar engineering.

I punch the warp button to the Eifer stargate and soon, with trails of hyperspace pouring off Flubbers engines, the Rupture appears on my overview, hugging the gate like a new born baby hugs its mum for security.

I make a few runs, trying to get a good bump off, but the Rupture is steadfast in its resolve not to be budged. I lock him up, again, no reaction, until he jumps through to Eifer, I follow and so begins the gate race. He nanos it back to the gate, I punch my MWD and make it back just as he jumps, I follow.

Now it gets interesting for the Rupture pilot.

Keira is in her Claymore, a ship she hasn't flown for a long while, with her command skills, my tackle is huge, like frikkin humongous, the Rupture breaks cloak about 20clicks off me, I start to close, with webs overheated, I lock him up and they go green, slowing him down, but the best is a 20km warp scrambler, which stops him warping away but also shuts down his MWD.

Not so fast now that I'm quite literally crawling up his tailpipe, a good 12km from the gate and his salvation.

With guns spiiting hot death in his general direction I launch some Warrior IIs, to help take some of the sentry gun heat, he reciprocates by launching some EC-300s...

...


...

...
...

The thing about ships that nano it up, they're rather brittle once you break their shields, the EC-300s, the bane of Kane, did not save him, no sir, they did not.

His shields melted and with not so much as a gesundheit, he exploded, kind enough to be slow on the escape pod and getting tackled by moi.

I offer 100million ISK for the safe extraction of his pod, he counters with 200million, I say 100million sharpish, he says 200million, I pop his pod as I'm under sentry fire and he was obviously stalling.

I scoop the loot and the corpse and head back to the station, Flubber's armour at the brink of melting from the heat from the stargate sentry guns.

It ain't nothing but a noob thang

The fight of the day, nay, the fight of the year came about as I was tinkering with Gaspode, my Reaper class rookie ship.

A rather young Rifter pilot was trying to run the Minmatar Contracted Bio-Farm 1/10 complex in Gusandall. I took it upon myself to extract the usual toll of such visitors to my system and I would do so in Gaspode.

I undock and warp directly to the complex, hammering the primitive onboard scanner as I do so, making sure, the Rifter is where he's supposed to be for when the toll man cometh.

I activate the ancient acceleration gate and Gaspode is launched into the first room of the plex, the Rifter calmly going about his illicit business about 30 clicks away from where Gaspode exits warp.

I start to close... Slowly.

"It would probably help if you got out and pushed" I hear Keira half say, half giggle over the corp comms system.

At about 12km I lock him up and apply my warp scrambler magic, courtesy of Keira's command skills and liberal application of the overheating button.

I set a close orbit, no fancy flying needed, as I'd probably have to concentrate on praying, if I believed in a higher power that is.

The Rifter is easily faster than me and even a semi competent fit would mean that even if I started believing in some higher power, now was probably not the best time to not show up and help.

I launch a Hobgoblin drone, tech 2. My two guns launch hot fusion bullets into space in the general direction of the Rifter. He shoots back, repping his armour handily, I start to shout as Gaspode enters armour, the Rifter hits structure but reps chunks of armour before too much damage is done, guns overheating to the point of melting, I yell at the little drone to shoot for all his worth.

COME OOOOOOOOOON LITTLE BUDDY, WE CAN DO IT.

With Gaspode at 45% structure, the last slivers of the Rifters structure vanish, an explosion the likes of which have never been seen rocks the Gusandall sky, like a supernova, but smaller, a not-so-supernova.

I tackle the pod for good measure, send him on his merry, scoop the loot and warp to a safe spot for a well earned breather.

The mighty Reaper victorious in fierce battle. Props to the Rifter pilot, he stayed and fought, even though he could have just hit his afterburner and warped away once out of range.

The Duel

Lancre operated on the feudal system, which was to say, everyone feuded all the time and handed on the fight to their descendants.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)

An interesting evening in which no-one would engage in random acts of hostility*, various gangs of varying sizes up and down New Eden being reported in a variety of intel channels.

A few of the Rizzel clan were off doing other ventures, whilst I and an associate made life more interesting for some folks trying to run an anomaly in Eifer, unfortunately I wasn't able to make it at all interesting as I always seemed to be just out of range as they warped in.

One particular gang caught my eye, three Cynabals, a Loki and a Curse. They flew through Gusandall and left just as myself in a Bhaalgorn and a few other of the locals got together to play host. Unfortunately my character was called into question as I had kindly asked them to come to station to fight.

They all left to high sec space and as I was sitting on the gate in my Ghetto Bhaalgorn, the Loki jumped back in and warped to the station.

With nothing to lose, I offer the Loki pilot a duel against my Stabber Fleet Issue.

With slight hesitation he agrees, after the locals agree to stay out of it of course. I offer my usual terms, for him to form gang and choose safespot, but he chooses to fight at Planet V and advertises it in local. This of course got my Admiral Akbar senses tingling but I had plenty of friends in local who would treat a violation of a 1v1 very seriously.

He doesn't have a point fitted as he asks in local if anyone has one. Voodoo is kind enough to give him one, as he's afraid I might try and run, he obviously doesn't know me.

I'm waiting at planet V as he warps in 50 clicks away. I do the usual Lame Kane™ as I hit my MWD but only at 50% thrust to close the distance. At 30km I'm webbed and pointed.

MWD Overheated, 100% thrust.
Webs overheated, go green.
Scram overheated, go green

The gap closes quicker than he expects with him now firmly between my crosshairs.

Guns, go green.
Warriors are a go.

With Flubber now face to face with the Loki, things go downhill for him, he deploys a flight of ec-300 drones, properly shitting himself as his Loki is about to die but they don't get a jam off as he explodes.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS EC-300s DID NOT WORK AGAINST ME.

'Good fight' is shared in local as he warps his pod out, the duel honoured by both parties and a smile across my face as I scoop the loot.

*not entirely true as I'm always hostile at random

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man

"When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!"
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)

My day started off with two successful hunts, one a Hurricane running an anomaly and another, a Ferox in a belt.

But...

Those were just the hors d'oeuvre*

A Rupture undocks from Gusandall station, an associate reports this and I board a Rupture of my own, hastily undock...

Why does this always seem longer when there's mischief to be done?

After what seemed an age, I undock just to see the Rupture warp to the 4th planet, I hastily engage warp, to zero.

I burst out of warp right on top of my prey and engage, tackle is go, guns are go, drones are go...

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEED!

Motherfucker, ec-300s full cycle and the Ruppie pulls range very quickly, must be one of those fancy shield Ruppies, a Vagabond warps in, a corp-mate of the Ruppie pilot, he engages, I try to close on the Ruppie...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, 450m/s? WHO THE FUCK PUT AN AFTERBURNER ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER?

That who would be me, admiral dumbass, as I last used this ship chasing a mission runner and forgot to swap it out.

I'm unable to close on either of my attackers and wait for the inevitable...

TO EXPLODE, SO I CAN GO FETCH ANOTHER SHIP TO EXTRACT DELICIOUS REVENGE!

I warp my pod out sharpish and dock at the station, there's only one thing for this kind of situation, Flubber, y'all know Flubber right? My Stabber Fleet Issue is particularily suited to this kind of fight and I undock as fast as I can, even as I'm being fed intel via an associate that the two are still at the planet.

I warp to zero, they're still there but a good forty to fifty clicks away, I hit my MWD but set it to 50% thrust, Rupture is first to bite, he engages but keeps range nicely, I hit full thrust, overload and soon I'm humping the Ruppie like a pitbull on Viagra.

Rupture isn't long for the universe as he tastes defeat, I turn towards the Vagabond just as I spot my MWD blink out from overheating...

OH BRILLIANT, WELL FUCKING DONE KANE, ARE YOU RETARDED?

Right, stay calm, change of tactic, this Vaga is going to chew you up if you don't redeem yourself.

I make as if I'm trying to run, I'm deep into armour, about to hit structure, no MWD, I overload my scrambler and webs...

Vaga chases, a little too keenly, one web, two webs, Crazy Ivan, scrambler, Flubber licks the Vaga and the race is on.

My structure is evaporating as I burn the Vaga's shields, I lay waste to his armour and with the smallest of margins I win the race, the Vagabond explodes.

EIGHT PERCENT STRUCTURE

Eight percent is all that stood between me and a second loss to these guys, eight percent and Flubber would have said her goodbyes to the universe, perhaps never to see the like of her again.

But Kane Rizzel has sweet revenge...

I also got most my loot back :D


*An appetizer served before a meal

Two Thousand

Jaime had never realised that trees made a sound when they grew, and no-one else had realised it either, because the sound is made over hundreds of years in waves of twenty-four hours from peak to peak. Speed it up, and the sound a tree makes is *vrooom*.
-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

I'm sitting here trying to figure out how best to write this up and to be brutally honest, I'm at a loss. The fight was short and violent, like most fights but nothing about it stands out as a defining moment in my EVE career.

There's three frigates in my home system of Gusandall, a Vigil, a Rifter and a Kestrel. The three pilots appear to be unaffiliated but that's not always the case.

I grabbed the Cunning Man, once again rebuilt after his forebear was brutally slain.

I undock from Gusandall station and initiate warp to the first belt, The vigil is there and it locks me up, I return the favour but wait. The vigil engages as the other two frigates warp in.

Primary is the Rifter, everything is overloaded and the Rifter explodes in short order, Kessie is hitting me hard and is next on the block, it too doesn't last long and the Vigil is a wreck in the blink of an eye. The Cunning Man is in structure but only just, standing proud amongst the wrecks.

The Rifter piloted by Ishtarion Greyhawk was my 2000th kill and I'm glad I was flying the same class of ship that I got my very first ever kill.

Masquerade

The more interesting fight of the night came in the shape of a Wolf class assault frigate. It was loitering outside the station and I grabbed one of my favourite ships, an old and proud Stabber Fleet Issue, particularly suited to engaging small ships.

Shortly after undocking, I locked the Wolf up, he returned the favour, I activated my MWD but held back a bit, 0nly 55% thrust applied, I do this for a few reasons, for one it gives the appearance that I'm slow, plated, which gives the aggressor the feeling that they can out run me, and get under my tracking, it also forces the engagement as the aggressor then feels confident enough to engage.

The Wolf did exactly what I wanted him to do, he engaged, but he quickly shot out to around 20 clicks... Arties? Surely not

But he was hitting me nicely from range, so artillery it is. I hit the MWD again, full throttle, I'm faster than him, overloaded stasis webifier reaches out and slows him down further, just as I get in range of an overloadedwarp scrambler which shuts off his MWD. The time had come to hammer the nails in, a flight of Warrior II drones spews forth from my drone bay, my guns had been hitting but not doing a whole lot...

...And then it was all over.

He warps his pod out sharpish as I offer GF in local, to which he doesn't reply.

Get the kettle on

"Nac mac Feegle wha hae!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)

Another slow day in the Evannater constellation of Heimatar. The little pockets of excitement just about enough to keep me entertained.

The Hatchery

Seems these guys have settled in Emolgranlan and are making trips into lowsec. It's always good to have eager neighbours. They were the first to experience Kane Camp™ and today they decided to use a bait Maelstrom outside Gusandall station.

So I grab Nac Mac Feegle, an Armageddon class battleship and proceed to undock. The Maelstrom has started to engage a Pilgrim but the Pilgrim is at good range, he then lights me up and proceeds to shoot at me.

Well, I'm not one to pass up an invitation, I shoot back. Trap is sprung and local fills up. No biggie, two Megathron battleships from Mean Corp undock.

A Maelstrom, Drake, Rupture, Caracal and Merlin all proceed to pick on me. Maelstrom has a good tank, the Merlin who had decided to wander a touch to close to a flight of Warrior IIs I had set on him explodes, my armour has been eaten away but there's no retreat, no surrender, Kane stays till the job is done or he has to warp his pod out.

Maelstrom goes down, an epic tank but then I explode almost simultaneously. I hesitate slightly but manage to get my pod out unscathed. The Rupture gets violenced while the Drake and Caracal turn tail.

A good fight and I like these guys, they're not scared to shoot first and it makes a difference fighting someone who doesn't always rely on sentry fire on their side. I look forward to plenty more fights with them.

Carry on...

I'm just chilling, relaxing, when a channel I frequent lights up with news of a carrier running a mission somewhere in Molding Heap, about 16 jumps away as the crow flies. I grab Daft Wullie, my new Armageddon battleship start making my way over. It's a carrier, we pirates will travel a long distance for a prize such as a capital ship.

About six jumps out, a report from the scout puts a damper on my day as it seems the carrier has left system and there will no longer be coffee and cookies :(

I disconsolately make my way home.

The Assault

A Jaguar assault frigate is spotted in Gus, bouncing safes and belts. I grab Flubber, my Stabber Fleet Issue or as has become common tongue, the SFI.

Assault frigates have become deadly against bigger ships as there small size and exceptional agility makes it hard for bigger calibre guns to track them. In the hands of a skilled pilot they would eat just about anything.

Flubber however is not just anything, it is a very old and proud cruiser which has been with me for the better part of two years, it still sports large rigs. By using her onboard scanner I pinpoint the Jag to be at planet V.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

I drop warp at the planet right on top of the Jag and engage, he duly obliges by shooting back. He starts off with a bit of tracking disruption and scramming my MWD, I just navigate to mitigate transversal and hit him hard, it does help that Flubber has a few tricks up her sleeve which nobody bloody expects.

His shields now gone I decide it's time to drop a flight of Warrior IIs to expedite the fireworks, the Jag kindly explodes and he warps his escape pod out just in the nick of time before my lock resolves.

A good fight.

A tale of two frigates

A Taranis interceptor is chilling off the station in Gusandall, the pilot seems somewhat familiar but no matter, I grab Rincewind, my trusty Rifter class frigate. This should be interesting as a Taranis is quite formidable in either of it's popular variants.

As my Rifter exited the undock of the station, she was welcomed by the light of the Gusandall star, the Ranis lit its micro warp drive and closed rather sharply, he wasn't outlaw so I had to wait for him to engage, else my Rifter wouldn't be long for the verse under sentry fire. This of course gave him the lead, damage wise but once he engaged it was game time. With my afterburner lit, warp scrambler and stasis web kick in, with my guns and rockets overloaded for maximum damage and the armour repper doing the same to cope with the incoming damage we danced a merry waltz around each other.

The fight itself was rather short, as are most encounters with a Taranis...

















But the Taranis ran out of structure and exploded. To the victor the spoils as I grab the loot and make haste to a safespot.

Good fight Cozmik R5, a fellow blogger and where I recognized his name from :)

I dock up and get the kettle on, could use a cup of tea right now, been an indifferent day but in truth an enjoyable one. Time to sort through the loot :D

Stay strong and never surrender

Hold on to your hair... I'm going in

Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Strata)

"Arbitrator, Merlin & Wolf... I'm going in."

I'm in a Fleet Stabber... And I want to kill.

Thus far I have failed to catch a stabbed Typhoon running the Eifer gauntlet. I have failed to effectively solo two carriers with my Bhaalgorn (aka playing bait), in fact, I failed to even get them to shoot back.

But back to the here and now, there's three seemingly innocent dudes, in a belt, in Eifer. Time for Kane to get back to work.

"Oh hey Mandaro, long time, want to kill some folk? I have this here Arbitrator tackled, oh look, his friends are shooting me, woe is me. Wait what, I'm being tracking disrupted, spidey senses say tracking speed. Right, change of plan, how about you stay still, see these webs and scram, that's right, you're going nowhere... NOWHERE. I'll just stop orbiting and close distance making your devious ploy of tracking disrupting my guns about as useful as an asshole on my elbow. That's right, not so clever now, see my buddy over there in that Dramiel, he's making sure your buddies don't run away"

This is my Stabber Fleet Issue, there are many like it, but this one is mine.

"Mandy, the Arby is dead, let's dispatch this Wolf and Merlin and go have some cookies"

A good fight.

But wait, there's more, they come back.

"Rupture, Griffin & Crucifier... I'm going in... Again"

"Mandy, what the hell are you flying? And why does it have Police lights, this isn't GTA motherfucker... Nevermind, I have this Rupture tackled. His friends have just come in, I'm still shoo... What?, What the? yep, I seem to be jammed, the frickin Griffin has me jammed. I'm locking... No I'm not, I'm jammed again...









Locking... JAMMED...












Keira, what the hell? Where the hell you come from?"


"Listen you idiot, you can't fight if you can't even target anything so shut up and just be thankful I'm saving you an embarrassing loss, besides, looks like I got here just in time, you don't seem to have been paying attention to your armour at all"

Keira's Guardian, Mandaro's space police ship and Aiko's Onyx cause my three attackers pause for thought and they bail. AN interesting fight and one I may have lost, in fact I'll count it as a loss even though the SFI survived.

I love this Stabber, it still has large rigs on it and tonight was the closest I've come to losing it.

C'est la vie

The competition is still running by the way.

911 what's your emergency?

A friend of a friend engaged a Drake, in a belt, in Ingunn, with his Hurricane.

Now the more savvy amongst you are going to say "But Kane, surely it was bait?"

Well... Yeah!

So our friend's friend mentions in a shared friendly intel channel that now there's another Drake, and a wolf and they have commenced hostilities against his Hurricane.

He was fighting back admirably but there was just too much fire-power being dealt to his Hurricane...

"HAVE NO FEAR FRIEND, GUSANDALL 911 IS... ON... THE... WAY!"

With a few of the M34N crew hanging about and some friends from Jovian Enterprises, a blob of some significance descended upon the belt where our friend's friend was being violenced.

Six brave souls ventured forth and outblobbed the three mighty warriors from Everset Dropbears who had by now vanquished our friend's friend's Hurricane.

First order of business was dispatching their Wolf, which we did, then onto the primary Drake, which I had pointed, Laneth had pointed the secondary Drake as our 3 battlecruisers, 1 heavy assault cruiser and two faction cruisers opened hostile negotiations for cessation of hostilities.

Props to the Dropbear Drakes, solid tanks but just not solid enough, as our blob, blobbed out the stars, they went down, like the prom queen at the after party.

The Dropbears were gracious in defeat and even offered "GF" in local, no mention of our massive Blob however :(

All loot went to our friend's friend to help get him back on his feet again.

Stay Classy

Got point?

People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to a sticky end. All over the entire room, sometimes.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

Another quiet evening in Eifer passes with nought but a few casual travellers. Intel chanels are dead with nobody around or awake. Commando Jaxx and I standing sentry over our favourite hunting ground.

"JAXX, CYNO IN EIFER!, YOU SEE IT?"

"Yep, up near Emol Gate"

WHAT... THE... FUCK!

I warp to the Cyno and there sits a Nidhoggur, next to a Helios that popped the beacon, RIGHT ON TOP OF THE EMOLGRANLAN GATE!

Nidhoggur

Essentially a pared-down version of its big brother the Hel, the Nidhoggur nonetheless displays the same austerity of vision evident in its sibling. Quite purposefully created for nothing less than all-out warfare, and quite comfortable with that fact, the Nidhoggur will no doubt find itself a mainstay on many a battlefield.

Minmatar Carrier Skill Bonuses:
50% bonus to Capital Shield and Armor transfer range per level
5% bonus to Shield and Armor transfer amount per level
99% reduction in CPU need for Warfare Link modules
Can fit Tactical Logistics Reconfiguration modules
Can deploy 1 additional Fighter or Drone per level
200% bonus to Fighter control range


I lock both up, as is my way, with my Fleet Stabber but don't aggro as I can't tank sentries for too long. A Hound stealth bomber drops cloak and aggros me and is not very long for this verse as I lock and pop him in one volley.

The something miraculous happens, the carrier aggros me.

EXCELLENT, YOU'RE MINE NOW!

I lay down the sweet, sweet tackle while Jaxx warps in, both of us shouting and screaming in any intel channel that would listen that we needed support and DPS.

Keira had docked in Gusandall and took her sweet time deciding which ship to bring but I told her to bring a fucking Broadsword, which she eventually did. Stratego had joined us with Celebra following closely behind in Neut/RR Dominix.

Once we were sure the Niddy wasn't going anywhere I headed back to Gusandall to grab something with a bit more punch, Havelock Vetinari, my Bhaalgorn, my Precious.

With the Niddy's armour tank about to experience major capacitor issues, a few other friends came in to help finish him off, Hoffe in an Abaddon and The SoulCrusher in an Armageddon.

The extra DPS helped and it was a weird engagement as neutrals and reds kept jumping in, watching what was going on and then getting out of dodge.

The carrier eventually went down after what seemed an age.

Ten minutes from initial tackle till support arrived, another half hour or so for us to drop it with a small gang, right next to a highsec entry gate, with neutrals and a few reds just passing by.

Props to those that heard our shouts and came to help, much appreciated guys.

I love my job :D

The Hunted

It was hard enough to kill a vampire. You could stake them down and turn them into dust and ten years later someone drops a drop of blood in the wrong place and *guess who's back*? They returned more times than raw broccoli.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay)

Bait Brutix on Gus station...
Of course it's a bloody bait Brutix...
Nobody in their right mind hangs about the undock of Gusandall that long without being up to something.

So what do we do?

We try the reverse bait.

Now this is not as easy as it seems, first you need a big juicy target, like say, my Bhaalgorn, which I undock.

Bhaalgorn

Named after a child-devouring demon of Amarrian legend, the Bhaalgorn is the pride and joy of the Blood Raider cabal. Though it is known to be based on an Armageddon blueprint, the design's origin remains shrouded in mystery. Those of a superstitious persuasion whisper in the dark of eldritch ceremonies and arcane rituals, but for most people, the practical aspect of the matter will more than suffice: you see one of these blood-red horrors looming on the horizon, it's time to make yourself scarce.

Special Ability: 100% bonus to Large Energy Turret damage

Amarr Battleship Skill Bonus: 15% bonus to Energy Vampire and Energy Neutralizer drain amount per level
Minmatar Battleship Skill Bonus: 20% bonus to Stasis Webifier activation range per level

Now in order for the reverse bait to work there needs to be a few critical issues to sort out. First and foremost, you can't really bait solo, it seems most of my contacts and alliance mates were passed out in the local bar.

That's ok, I can pull this off on my own... Sure I bloody can, I'm Kane Rizzel.

Secondly and this is the important part, the baitee mustn't just dock as soon as you undock :(

Unhappy with my failure to do even the simplest bait job, I dock the Bhaal and grab my Fleet Stabber, which I've had some fun with today already. Covops reports the Brutix undocks and warps towards Ingunn, at this point an associate has joined me on the hunt.

Stabber Fleet Issue

Responding to voices stating that the Stabber needed an upgrade to be viable as a fleet vessel of military standards, the Republic Fleet commissioned the creation of the Fleet Issue Stabber; a slower, hardier version of the original that packs quite a bit more firepower. Being as new as it is on the battlefield, the Fleet Issue Stabber hasn't seen many large engagements yet, but its engineers as well as Fleet command are very optimistic about its performance.

Minmatar Cruiser Skill Bonus: 5% bonus to Medium Projectile Turret firing speed and 10% bonus to Medium Projectile Turret tracking speed per level.

WayCharles, my associate in this rather devilish game of cat and mouse reports the Brutix has warped to Sotrenzur and I point my Fleet Stabber in the direction of the gate and punch warp.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

I barrel in and warp trails still pouring off my stabber as I lock the Brutix up, he replies in kind and BLOODY HELL, THE FUCKER HAS JUST ENGAGED ME... GAME ON BITCH.

The trap is sprung as intel reaches us of two Cyclones waiting on the other side of the gate have just jumped in.

I open up with some light showers of barrage ammo, as I keep well out of warp scrambler range but just enough to keep them interested. However they soon tire of chasing me and warp to the station. I warp to a spot 250km above and spy on them with my little eye.

I warp closer to about 10km off the station as we try another reverse bait whilst WayCharles reships into something with more range. The three battlecruisers start the chase, in true Benny Hill fashion I can hear Yakety Sax playing in the background. This goes on for about fifteen to twenty minutes before I have them sufficiently out of range of the station's docking radius.

The time has come, I close in on a Cyclone closest to WayCharles and tackle, he gets to about 15% hull when I stupidly lose point and he warp out but I'm quick to point the second Cyclone and we apply the hurt, meanwhile the Brutix has scarpered along with the first Cyclone. Qre and Shiln join in as the Cyclone of Pooterhead goes down. Pooterhead, the name rings a bell, a plex farmer from way back.

A great fight and capped off a good day for me, which saw me solo a gang of three Rifters in Eifer with the Fleet Stabber, an asleep at the wheel Rupture pilot who decided to take a break at a safespot in Gusandall, a curious Vexor pilot who claimed to be a little rusty in Eifer and a good trip out for the Bhaalgorn in Eifer as Mean Coalition welcomed a dual Maelstrom, Drake and Gila gang to our home (We missed the Gila)

Just another day in Heimatar

"All right," said Masklin. "But you're not to fly down low again and try to read the signposts. Every time you do that, humans rush into the streets and we get lots of shouting on the radio."
"That's right." said the Thing. "People are bound to get excited when they see a ten-million-ton starship trying to fly down the street."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Wings)


It's been a while since I got any good hate mail, it makes me feel unloved :(



Exhumers have been popping all over EVE in Hulkageddon II, but I want to take a moment to get back to my roots, belt piracy.

On the way back from one of our recent raids into highsec we spotted a Nighthawk on the Emolgranlan gate. After getting lost in my pod I went through Eifer and spotted the Nighthawk in the central cluster. Racing back to Gus to grab something sturdier than a pod, I decided on the Fleet Stabber

Stabber Fleet Issue

Responding to voices stating that the Stabber needed an upgrade to be viable as a fleet vessel of military standards, the Republic Fleet commissioned the creation of the Fleet Issue Stabber; a slower, hardier version of the original that packs quite a bit more firepower. Being as new as it is on the battlefield, the Fleet Issue Stabber hasn't seen many large engagements yet, but its engineers as well as Fleet command are very optimistic about its performance.

Minmatar Cruiser Skill Bonus: 5% bonus to Medium Projectile Turret firing speed and 10% bonus to Medium Projectile Turret tracking speed per level.

It's rather quick, even with a bulky 1600mm plate but I thought I'd give the guy a fighting chance, especially since the locals were getting ready to come out and give him a warm welcome.

I quickly tracked the Nighthawk down to a belt and warped in but he was 100 clicks away, I started to close and he warped off. I followed and started to track again, warpin at 70 to the belts.

Kane Rizzel > Eifer 1-1, warping at 70

I burst out of warp, 30 clicks off and start to close, he engages me.

Thank you kind sir, that makes it easier.

I get within scrambler and dual web range and engage, launch a flight of light drones to deal with his. I start to take heavy armour damage as the small gang of locals arrive, I hold tackle just long enough for others to get points on and warp out at 31% armour.

I make all haste to get back to the fight and make it back just in time to lay down some more damage. The Nighthawk explodes, to the delight of the assembled Pirates and the best was yet to come. I open the wreck and I giggle with delight as a the loot gods smiled down upon us.

The Gist A-type Large Shield Booster and the Caldari Navy Shield Boost Amplifier dropped. \o/

About 800million ISK made in a few minutes between the five of us.

Not bad, even if I do say so myself.

We went back to raiding highsec for Exhumers but it has been a rather good few nights for me.

I really want to thank the M34N Corp guys for letting me tag along on the Hulkageddon carnage.

Stay Classy.

OH SNAP!

"When You're Up to Your Ass in Alligators, Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life."

-- Management slogan, Ridcully-style (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)

I've not been out in the black much recently but when I have it's been in either a Succubus or Dramiel. Both fun little ships.

This evening I was in the Dramiel bumming around Eifer and I was starting to feel very alone, nobody seemed to stay in system long enough to warrant any excitement. A Raptor and Hawk passed on by with not so much as a "hello"

What's a man to do? Well, this man is patient, it's not always white knuckle rides but as with everything in life, patience pays off.

Local climbs and falls as the traffic through Eifer continues and every now and again I check the scanner to see if anything tasty has dropped into one of the belts. While I wait, I rickroll the Independence channel with a great rendition of "never gonna give you up"
Mid song I was interupted by my scanner, which showed a rather tasty target had presented itself, in the shape of a Stabber Fleet Issue. Quickly narrowed down to a cluster and then a belt I warp in, systems primed and ready. I initiate lock as soon as I get in range but the Fleet Stabber simply warps away.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH

I curse my luck and head back to my safespot as the pilot leaves the local comms net. I get back to my song.

Minutes later the very same pilot appears in local, I decide it's time to get serious and head back to Gusandall to grab something a bit more appropriate. Once in the new ship I headed back to Eifer and warped straight to my safespot to start scanning. Cluster confirmed, warp to first belt. There he is but he's already in warp... To the next belt.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

The warp bubble envelopes my ship as I follow. I burst out of warp on top of him and initiate lock, it resolves and I introduce The Stabber Fleet Issue to my own Stabber Fleet Issue.

OH SNAP!

We are now fully engaged in a deadly dance, he's webbed and scrammed, the favour is returned as our guns start to play merry havoc with each others shields. His shields break and round after round of Barrage ammunition bridges the gap. His armour is melting as my shields give in but I have faith in my setup that this fight will end only in Victory.

His armour is ripped away, exposing his juicy hull to the discretion of my autocannons as he explodes in violent fashion. Flubber™ once again proves why she is one of my favourite ships.
The pod is locked and scrambled, ransom is offered and declined and a fresh corpse joins "The Morgue"

A rather fun fight and made my night.

Grand Theft Raven

I had dropped off the loot from the Fleet Stabber kill and once again took the Dramiel to Eifer.
A few covops were present in system, probing out cosmic anomolies or wormholes, I didn't care which, but what caught my eye was a Raven on scan.

I go through my routine and quickly narrow him down to a belt, time is of the essence and the ability to quickly scan a target is paramount to success. I warp in to see the Raven engaging Angel cruisers, I just can't stand by and let this happen. Me and the Angel Cartel don't really get along but us Pirates have to stick together so I engage the Raven. He sends a heavy webber drone and two Ogre I drones my way and I quickly dispatch them all the while keeping the Raven locked down. I mention in an intel channel I have this Raven locked down and an old friend expresses his desire to teach the Raven not to violence the Angels.

Laneth jumps into Eifer with his Absolution command ship and initates warp to the belt where the Raven was now having a really bad day. The massive Amarr ship bursts into the belt and closes quickly the Raven now in some rather serious trouble as Laneth's lasers tear massive holes in his shields and then armour. Raven hits hull and is about to go down when the pilot ejects his escape pod.

Not on my watch, the pod is quickly locked, scrammed and popped for his insolence, how dare he come in here, attack the innocent Angels and then expect to get away with nought but a Raven loss.

We both stopped firing at the Raven and Laneth said he'd be right back to pick up our prize. I kept the empty battleship tackled so it wouldn't wonder off on its own until Laneth returned to secret away our shiny.

A rather nice nights work if I do say so myself. I head back to Gusandall for a much needed smoke and cup of tea.

Stay Classy Heimatar

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!

The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This is a fact well known even to Corporal Nobbs. It's also wrong. There's a fifth element, and generally it's called Surprise.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

This is my Broadsword, let me show you it

Lights flicker to life as I enter the hangar, seems Keira has neglected to move loot again but no matter, today is not the day to worry about such minor issues, today is a day to celebrate.

I look over my array of ships and pick a Rifter, time to pay a visit to Eifer. My head is a bit tender as I just had some new implants installed into this clone and they kind of dulled the senses but that too will pass, I was eager to get out into the black and do some old fashioned Piracy.

Eifer was dead but news had come through of a Megathron in an adjacent system doing a mission. I hurried back to Gus to grab Guards! Guards! my Broadsword. It is a well known fact that many lowsec mission runners fit warp core stabilisers and nothing ruins their day like a Broadsword to the head.

My friend in her covops was dispatched to probe him out as the gang was forming. She got a hit with her first sweep and had soon vectored us in to the mission gates. Yes, that's not a mistake, there were three gates going in different directions but she used her on-board scanner to determine he was in the direction of the Alpha gate. I jumped in and warped to the gates, landing 17km from the Alpha gate I activated my afterburner and closed as the rest of the small fleet assembled flashed out of warp.

I activate the gate and... Nothing, an automated message appears on my HUD saying it is locked and requires a special key to activate. Damn, what now, well the other two gates were clear of wrecks and we assumed he'd have to return here to use them so we had the covops and a recon stay put as we left system or warped to deep safespots.

News of a Fleet Issue Tempest in Gusandall got the pulses racing as the small gang, hungry for a kill closed in, he was trapped and was soon collared at a gate but made the mistake of aggressing before jumping, making it now impossible to get away as we tore him apart. It wasn't a very memorable fight but a kill is a kill, we didn't even have a chance to ransom as his armour and hull vaporized under our assault.

Meanwhile, in a system right next door the Megathron had returned so I made all haste to get back in there. It seemed he had docked for a while but our scouts reported him back on scanner, I got into position in system and waited for him to warp in. Our scouts gave the call as he warped in and I initiated warp of my own to their position. Warp trails streamed off my Broadsword as my systems showed I landed right on top of him. Tackling systems primed in warp went active as my lock resolves.

Kane Rizzel > hello there precious
Zenithil > Hi
Zenithil > You guys willing to trade?

Mmm, he wanted a ransom so it was offered and we each made a nice little bit of ISK for our trouble. We left him to his business and went on our merry. I returned to Gus and checked in at the station but was soon back out in the black as a Maelstrom was tackled on the Gus gate in Eifer, I raced there and we vaporized him as he didn't answer the ransom request.

Apparently I can't solo two Ruptures

Back in a Rifter and back in Eifer I had scanned out two Ruptures, not in the same spot but definitely together as they were in the same corp. I warped in to where one was and engaged, I had taken his shields out as his friend came in and my Rifter didn't last long, I warped my escape pod out towards Gus as I was going to fetch Flubber™, my Fleet Stabber. I came back and they were bouncing safes so I offered a 1v2 which was never answered. I really wanted revenge for what they did to my wonderful Rifter.

Falcon, meet Flubber™

News comes in of a battlecruiser being engaged in Gusandall and I make haste there, I jump in just as it all kicks off and a rather sizeable gang engages the local Pirates. They had a Falcon and I made a beeline towards it, it was my only target and the thing I wanted to kill most. As I burned towards it, his friends opened up on me, along with the sentries as I had a GCC from my fight against the Ruptures.

Just as I was about to get into warp disruption range he warped out and the rest of the locals disengaged as the hostiles outnumbered and outgunned us. I warped out and docked, setting my hangar crew to knocking out the dents in Flubber™

Roaming Bastards

I get a call from my old friend flashfresh who asks if I want to go on a T1 frigate roam with him and The Bastards. Hells yeah I do, just let me get a new Rifter set up and wait out my GCC and I would be right over. Fellow blogger Mynxee was in gang too along with some other Hellcats members, an honour to fly with the female Pirates of the verse. All in all about 17 assorted frigates to cause havoc amongst the stars.

I headed out to where they were waiting and after a few minutes we set out, not much in the first few jumps but eventually we found a Harbinger Ratting. The swarm of frigates descended on him and proceeded to violence his boat, to such an extent it exploded. His corpse was liberated from the confines of his escape pod in the blink of an eye.

We ran across a Hurricane in the same system and he too met with a sticky end.

Bouncing around we eventually tried to engage a flashy red Abaddon on a station but he docked, more from fright as his overview filled up than any damage he was taking on his massive armour.

Then came the icefield in Oddelulf. A Jaguar and three destroyers engaged us and were all destroyed although we also took some losses.

The roam ran out of steam at this point and I decided to return home and see what was about.

Vexor meet Flubber™

I get a call from my friend in her covops who says she just busted a safespot of a Vexor cruiser. Flubber™ gets another spin in the black as I undock and warp to her position.

I burst out of warp a few clicks off him and close the distance, my lock has already resolved and the warp disruptor is glowing a satisfactory green as it pulses and makes sure he doesn't get away. He's up for a fight as he returns lock and closes, web, scram and drones are set upon Flubber™ as my guns blast massive holes in his armour. He has energy neutralisers and vampires painting a pretty picture across Gusandall's dark hues but it doesn't last long as his armour fails and shortly after so does the structure. Good fight is shared in local comms as he warps his escape pod away from the carnage.

So what's with the celebration?

I sit back in my deck chair in my hangar and reflect on a rather good day, made the more merry by the fact this is my century of blog posts. It's taken a while as I'm not as prolific as some of the other bloggers out there and sometimes my stories might not capture the imagination but I try my best. Over eleven and a half thousand visitors have viewed these stories and whilst it might not compare to some of the more popular blogs, it sure sems a lot to me, not sure why people would want to read about my adventures but it seems to have a following.

As I was writing this I was notified of trespassers in our local 2/10 plex, a Wolf assault frigate and a Coercer destroyer. Maurice™ my Jaguar was just waiting for such an opportunity and I quickly boarded and undocked. Making all haste to the plex gate I burst out of warp hammering the scan button in the direction of it's trajectory, they were still there. Activating the ancient gate I was launched into familiar territory, trails of warp streamed off the Jaguar's beautiful hull as she lands right on top of the Coercer, guess it was primary as the Wolf was 30clicks away. The Coercer was going down hard as the Wolf closed, I did the same and as the destroyer was destroyed I switched tackle over and proceeded to introduce the pilot to the colour of his liver. Another trophy for "The Morgue"

I scoop the loot and dock up. Need to take some painkillers as these implants are hurting a bit.
I light a celebratory cigarette and make myself a cup of tea.

It's good to be the King :P

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It all adds up

All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

Contact

A Stabber class cruiser appears on my scanner, set to a 360 degree sweep it will pick up anything entering the asteroid clusters, I scan again to make sure the contact is in place and not just passing through. I narrow the arc to 90 degrees and scan the clusters, from my central position it's easy enough, second scan shows him at the V cluster and I initiate warp to the planet. I come out of warp and narrow the arc to 15 degrees. Belt one... Nothing. Belt two... Nothing. Belt three... Contact, confirmed Stabber class cruiser, ratting.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

Warp Disruptor is set to overload, it is primed, the prey is still in the belt as I spam the scanner. I burst out of warp and the prey is there, lock resolves and his day goes from bad to worse. He locks back and launches a drone, I won't need mine. Stabber loses shields, then armour and finally his structure gives way to the sustained assault, Republic Fleet EMP rounds overwhelm him. Bits of Stabber rain against Flubber™ even as the lock resolves on the pod, the unfortunate pilot sent home via Clone Vat Express.

It's all about the hunt

Sometimes it's not the fight that makes a hunt, but the hunt itself. Finding the target is the number one skill any Pirate should have, without it, well, you'll starve. It doesn't matter how good your skills are, how awesome your ship is, if you can't find prey it's all for naught. The Stabber pilot started having a bad day the moment he appeared on my scanner. He wasn't very experienced, a young pilot from the quick background check I was able to run but the loot will melt down nicely.

I scoop everything, it's how I make my living. Sure it's nice to get that faction drop worth millions but the small amounts gathered here and there make up millions, millions which fund me nicely.

Yesterdays loss still reverberates in the back of my mind, I needed to clear the cobwebs, focus on what I was good at and that is making the lives of others a little more exciting, if a lot shorter.
With this in mind I took Flubber™ out for a spin even though I have a massive headache, the Stabber made a nice entrée.

I sat at my safespot, reading the local comms chatter when a Jaguar appeared on scan. Time to introduce it to the excitement that is lowsec Piracy. I warped in and landed right on top of him, no bother, I didn't fear the Jaguar, I locked, tackled, shot and destroyed the helpless pilot, his corpse now residing in "The Morgue" A Deimos had warped in too and helped finish him off. A Rupture was about but it bugged out rather rapidly at the sight of a Fleet Stabber and Deimos.
The Deimos was a friend, hunting independently but a welcome sight. Unfortunately the Rupture wouldn't show himself again as he had cloaked somewhere in system, eventually leaving as more local Pirates came to Eifer.

I caught a Rifter ratting while I was waiting out my GCC, my hold now full of loot, time to go home.

Three kills, not very exciting but then not every hunt is. This was bread and butter Piracy, that which we need to keep the blood pumping and the ISK flowing. There's loot everywhere in the hangar, been a decent week even with the loss of my Broadsword.

I sit back and relax, music in the background as I light a cigarette and draw deeply. Piracy has it's ups and downs but I wouldn't want to do anything else, it's what I have become, what I am and it's so damn good.