OH SNAP!

"When You're Up to Your Ass in Alligators, Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life."

-- Management slogan, Ridcully-style (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)

I've not been out in the black much recently but when I have it's been in either a Succubus or Dramiel. Both fun little ships.

This evening I was in the Dramiel bumming around Eifer and I was starting to feel very alone, nobody seemed to stay in system long enough to warrant any excitement. A Raptor and Hawk passed on by with not so much as a "hello"

What's a man to do? Well, this man is patient, it's not always white knuckle rides but as with everything in life, patience pays off.

Local climbs and falls as the traffic through Eifer continues and every now and again I check the scanner to see if anything tasty has dropped into one of the belts. While I wait, I rickroll the Independence channel with a great rendition of "never gonna give you up"
Mid song I was interupted by my scanner, which showed a rather tasty target had presented itself, in the shape of a Stabber Fleet Issue. Quickly narrowed down to a cluster and then a belt I warp in, systems primed and ready. I initiate lock as soon as I get in range but the Fleet Stabber simply warps away.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH

I curse my luck and head back to my safespot as the pilot leaves the local comms net. I get back to my song.

Minutes later the very same pilot appears in local, I decide it's time to get serious and head back to Gusandall to grab something a bit more appropriate. Once in the new ship I headed back to Eifer and warped straight to my safespot to start scanning. Cluster confirmed, warp to first belt. There he is but he's already in warp... To the next belt.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

The warp bubble envelopes my ship as I follow. I burst out of warp on top of him and initiate lock, it resolves and I introduce The Stabber Fleet Issue to my own Stabber Fleet Issue.

OH SNAP!

We are now fully engaged in a deadly dance, he's webbed and scrammed, the favour is returned as our guns start to play merry havoc with each others shields. His shields break and round after round of Barrage ammunition bridges the gap. His armour is melting as my shields give in but I have faith in my setup that this fight will end only in Victory.

His armour is ripped away, exposing his juicy hull to the discretion of my autocannons as he explodes in violent fashion. Flubber™ once again proves why she is one of my favourite ships.
The pod is locked and scrambled, ransom is offered and declined and a fresh corpse joins "The Morgue"

A rather fun fight and made my night.

Grand Theft Raven

I had dropped off the loot from the Fleet Stabber kill and once again took the Dramiel to Eifer.
A few covops were present in system, probing out cosmic anomolies or wormholes, I didn't care which, but what caught my eye was a Raven on scan.

I go through my routine and quickly narrow him down to a belt, time is of the essence and the ability to quickly scan a target is paramount to success. I warp in to see the Raven engaging Angel cruisers, I just can't stand by and let this happen. Me and the Angel Cartel don't really get along but us Pirates have to stick together so I engage the Raven. He sends a heavy webber drone and two Ogre I drones my way and I quickly dispatch them all the while keeping the Raven locked down. I mention in an intel channel I have this Raven locked down and an old friend expresses his desire to teach the Raven not to violence the Angels.

Laneth jumps into Eifer with his Absolution command ship and initates warp to the belt where the Raven was now having a really bad day. The massive Amarr ship bursts into the belt and closes quickly the Raven now in some rather serious trouble as Laneth's lasers tear massive holes in his shields and then armour. Raven hits hull and is about to go down when the pilot ejects his escape pod.

Not on my watch, the pod is quickly locked, scrammed and popped for his insolence, how dare he come in here, attack the innocent Angels and then expect to get away with nought but a Raven loss.

We both stopped firing at the Raven and Laneth said he'd be right back to pick up our prize. I kept the empty battleship tackled so it wouldn't wonder off on its own until Laneth returned to secret away our shiny.

A rather nice nights work if I do say so myself. I head back to Gusandall for a much needed smoke and cup of tea.

Stay Classy Heimatar

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

"Some people are heroes. And some people jot down notes."

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

...Is to track down and kill a Raven infesting the Ingunn area.

Well now, who am I to refuse such a mission. A key participant in tonight's hunt was already in place, sitting silent and invisible in a spot carefully chosen to give best coverage for her scan probes.
I had a few things to take care of in station before boarding my Pilgrim and heading out into the black.

Keira had just Clone Jumped back to HQ so she could take care of the paperwork whilst the hangar crew got her Broadsword ready, I would need her help if things went south and I really hoped they did.

Our sneaky friend had reported multiple hits, three Ravens were doing the rounds and I asked her to set up the first warp in, within moments of my request I was told she was ready and I entered warp.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

Bursting out of warp under cloak I spotted our mark, a mere 5 clicks away... Perfect.
He was chewing through the mercenary force and would shortly be done, but not before his life got that bit more interesting, a little Kane to spice up his night.

I uncloaked at point blank range, he was aligned to warp out but not up to speed so the slightest nudge would give my targeting systems enough time to recalibrate from cloaking to lock on to him. The seconds ground away, it felt like an age as my systems locked onto his ship. I was relieved to see my lock confirmed and my warp scrambler started its gentle glow. The Raven wasn't going anywhere in a hurry. I took my time now, savouring each second, Two energy neutralisers bridged the gap between us, only moments before he would be without any energy to power his shield booster. He had at this point targeted me and set about introducing volley after volley of cruise missiles to my recon, a flight of medium drones spewed forth from his drone bay and opened up on me.

Don't panic, no need to, things are under control. I pulse my cap booster as it charges my capacitor, the two medium energy neuts are no longer needed, instead a small energy neutraliser kicks in to keep him capped out. I start taking armour damage and pause a moment before my armour repairer goes active, a few seconds pass before it finishes its first cycle and my armour starts to creep back. My capacitor spikes as another round of boosters goes in.

The Raven is no longer boosting its shields, his shield hardeners have turned off without any power to run them, the time to strike has come.

Five Hammerhead IIs are released from my drone bay, like rabid dogs they set upon the Raven and tear his shields away, chewing at his armour and dining on his structure. The explosion is violent, debris raining down on Kumano-San-Zan, a beautiful sound. The flash disipates and I'm kind of disappointed that my scans hadn't picked up reinforcements in the shape of the other Ravens.

While all this was going on my friend in her Cheetah was busy probing out other mission sites and setting up the necesary warpins, unfortunately they all had acceleration gates and the other Ravens had taken to employing scouts. Keira had warped in on one but was just that bit too far away to get the tackle before he warped out and we missed a few others due to said scouts.

A Caracal did warp in to the first site and was duely dispatched.

A bit disappointed I cloaked up and went about having my dinner and a much needed cigarette. I accomplished my mission obejective but would liked to have had more.

I'm back, more or less, depending on how I feel and hopefully I'll start writing a bit more and with a bit more creativity, unfortunately there's only so many ways you can describe a kill/loss and sometimes I just don't know how to make them sound interesting. I may just go back to doing this for my own amusement, to help me analyse my hunts, my success and my failures as I originally intended for this blog, I just hope y'all will find that interesting

Operation Farmer Smash

"ER...HO. HO. HO."

-- Death makes a career move (Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

Damn, how drunk was I last night? Way too much bourbon and shooters to be healthy is for sure but hey, I had a great time at the pub.

I decided to go play with my favourite Raven pilots next door in Ingunn. My covops friend was already in place and it wasn't long before she had two mission sites probed out. I brought the Pilgrim and went about spreading xmas cheer in the only way I know how.

Highlight of the evening was the first kill on Pissonp, I had killed his Raven, he came back in an Ibis, a few friends were in system, I tackled it and a Disco Dominix came in and popped and podded him. Much laughter was had on voice comms.

Five Ravens and a Thorax later I decided to try and get some shut-eye, might get some dinner later.

I've decided to name my little adventure against the ISK farmers Operation Farmer Smash

Happy holidays everyone.

A Farmer's Tale

The trouble is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

Take Two

I'm not normally vindictive but when I am it's probably best just to leave system.

Last night was such a night and I only had one thing on my mind, killing Pissonp as many times as I could. Well, my original plan was to get him to eject from a Raven but that didn't go down too well so it was down to killing him.

My friend in her covops had scanned out a Raven in Ingunn, I received the call and boarded my Pilgrim, a ship I was really starting to enjoy flying and a good challenge to use going up against a Raven. I joined fleet with my covops friend and headed over to Ingunn, jumped into system and hit warp to her location. She had patiently set up the warp in but she relayed to me as I was in warp that a scout had arrived on the gate. All I had to do now was hope the acceleration gate wouldn't decloak me as I landed. Unlucky for me as it did and the scout definitely spotted me because as I burst out of warp, having cloaked again, the Raven headed back to station.

Not really too worried about him turning tail and legging it, I patiently waited, cloaked inside the mission, he'd be back.

I waited for a good hour or so as he did a few other missions in system, I knew he'd be back as his scout warped to this mission a few times to check things out.

Nope, nobody here besides us sneaky, cloaky types, nothing to see, move along.

After a few more minutes the scout warped to the gate again, my friend relayed the info and said the scout warped into the plex, I confirmed he was inside with me and then she reported the Raven landing on the gate.

"Excellent!" I thought to myself.

The Raven landed 7 clicks off my port side, I waited a few seconds, savouring the moment.

I uncloaked, target lock resolves, scram and web go active, a bank of energy neutralisers glow green on my HUD. He returned lock and launched a volley of cruise missiles my way just as I released a swarm of Hammerhead drones in his general direction. They bit into his shields as my Pilgrim rocked from bow to stern from the missiles impacting its shields. Armour hardeners and damage control go active, I set the armour repper running whilst maintaining a tight orbit with afterburner glowing in the Ingunn night sky. His shields fail and I open up a convo with the pilot.

Pissonp > no
Pissonp > Let me complete the duty
Kane Rizzel > eject or be destroyed
Kane Rizzel > this is not a negotiation
Pissonp > Was me to give you raven
Kane Rizzel > that's the plan

I gave him my terms.

He chose... Poorly

I was left alone in conversation and carried on assaulting his ship, Grand Theft Raven™ would have to wait for another time. Cap Booster charges were being consumed as I continued to rep armour, but soon his Raven was a smoldering wreck, bits of debris raining against Kumano-San-Zan. His escape pod barely made it out before the lock resolved but I was satisfied with the loot he left.

I recloaked and basked in my own awesomeness.

Interlude

Noz gave me a call as he was hunting Pissonp too, he had scanned out an Armageddon, had it tackled and asked if I wanted in?

"On my way" I said.
"It's Disco" he replied

A smartbomb Geddon would be tricky for me but I would just use my energy neuts to cap him out and set drones on him, it didn't take us much time to explode him.

Not long later, a call from a pilot in Independence channel piqued my interest.

"Freighter tackled in Gultraten, on Ingunn gate, need DPS"

Well now, how could I resist? I warped on over and jumped into Gult where Nozaro was engaging the Obelisk freighter in his Broadsword, as luck would have it the Freighter was blocked from crawling back to the gate by a Concord Billboard :D

I smiled wryly as I engaged, knowing full well I would be losing drones to sentries. Sentry fire was shared between Noz, myself and my drones but eventually we downed the massive freighter but were disappointed to find it empty of any loot. But still, a kill is a kill and a freighter is a big one.

Take Three

I headed back to Gusandall to repair what drones I had left and re arm with some new ones before heading back to Ingunn and the mission plex. Pissonp would be back and I wanted to be there when he did.

I shot the breeze in Independence before falling asleep in my ship, cloaked in the plex.

Hours later I was woken up by the sound of explosions, I was expecting this and it makes a change from the horrible beeping of an alarm clock. As predicted, the Raven was back, 15km from me, I closed the distance under cloak.

Decloaking in range of warp scrambler I locked and opened convo with my prey.

Rejected :(, Oh well, Grand Theft Raven™ was put on hold as I resumed the routine of making his day that little bit more interesting. I set a flight of Warrior drones to intercept his Hammerheads as volley after volley of cruise missiles battered into my recon, my armour repper and cap booster keeping up as my energy neutralisers sucked the life blood from the Raven.

Then my moment of "nubness." In my haste to get back I neglected to reload on cap boosters and I had just run out

"DOH!"

Well, now it got really interesting as Pissonp got clever and started on my drones, this gave me the respite I needed to really pay attention and the game of "Scoop and Redeploy" started. As he missiles hit a drone I scooped it and redeployed. He would then target another and launch a volley at it, wash, rinse, repeat.

My Hammerheads were doing an amazing job of chewing into his armour and hull as we played but eventually he ran out of both as he exploded in a violent flash of light.

Damn, that was actually close, a damn good fight and I must give props to Mr Farmer, good job, awesome fun.

I scooped the loot and warped out, I returned to Gus but not before warping back to the mission gate and dispatching the scout for good measure.

I docked and repaired my drones, made sure to resupply with cap boosters before heading out to do some things. A good night and a good start to the day.

Pissonp has lost three Ravens to me in two days, six altogether in four days to Nozaro, kerjn and myself. It's just not his week

I get knocked down, but I get up again.

In retrospect, Victor was always a little unclear about those next few minutes. That's the way it goes. The moments that change your life are the ones that happen suddenly, like the one where you die.

--Moving Pictures

"Sir"
"Yes, what is it now?"
"Well, there's a Rifter sir"
"A Rifter you say?"
"Yes sir"
"...and what about this Rifter?"
"Well it seems to be attacking us"
"ATTACKING US?"
"That is correct sir"
"Are we by any chance attacking back?
"Not at this time sir"
"WELL WHY THE HELL NOT?"
"It's a Rifter sir, it's not like it can hurt us, we are in a Raven battleship sir"
"Any details on the Rifter pilot?"
"He appears to be quite mad sir"
"He appears to be mad... Mad?"
"Yes sir"
"and how pray tell have you come to this astonishing conclusion?"
"He's in a Rifter sir"
"I think we've established that"
"and he's attacking a Raven battleship"
"Thank you captain obvious, I can see my money is well spent"
"Orders sir?"
"Oh I dunno, launch some missiles at him, that should scare him off"
"Aye sir"

...

"Sir"
"Yes?"
"Uhm... he's still attacking us"
"Have you tried warping to a stargate?"
"Aye sir, it appears our warp core is scrambled"
"Does he have any corp mates in system?"
"He appears to be alone sir, still firing on us though"

Meanwhile, aboard the Rifter:

"Is this thing on"
"What's up Kane"
"There's a Raven in Eifer"
"A Raven?"
"Is there an echo in here? Yes... A RAVEN"
"What about it?"
"I have it tackled"
"TACKLED?"
"yes, was wondering if anyone wanted a piece of the action"
"What are you flying?"
"A Rifter"
"A RIFTER?"
"Sheesh, this echo is annoying, I could use a hand to be honest, this guy can tank me all day"
"On our way"

Back on the Raven:

"Sir"
"What is it now?"
"It seems the local comms net has just spiked"
"And?"
"For a Captain of a battleship you sure do ask a lot of dumb questions"
"What?"
"See what I mean?"
"What did you just say?"
"Oops"
"What oops?"
"Onyx, Onyx, Onyx, Tempest and oh dear"
"What the hell is an oh dear?"
"It appears he has some friends... and they brought a Falcon"
"A Falcon?"
"Aye sir, it appears as if we are in a spot of bother"
"A spot of bother you say?"
"That I did"
"Wonderful, a few months out of the academy and I'm in a spot of bother"
"Systems jammed, shields failing"
"Great, just great"

...

"Where am I?"
"Welcome to the Quafe Company cloning facilities"
"Cloning facilities, how the fuck I get here?
"Now now, no need for that kind of language"
"Language? what's wrong with my fucking language? How the fuck did I get here?"
"It appears your escape pod was destroyed, hence you waking up in a cloning vat"
"UGH, headache"
"An unfortunate side effect but one that will pass, here's your bill, have a nice day"

Clawing my way back

Mmm, a Drake on scan, I narrow it down to a cluster and warp to the first belt at range.
Mmm, a Claw too, this should be interesting.
I engaged my warp drive to where the Claw appeared to be. Warp trails streaming off my Rifter as I entered normal space, the Claw over 140 clicks above me. I guess I'll just play possum and see if he bites.

Of course he bit, closing the distance quickly, very quicly. In the blink of an eye he was on top of me, the Drake warped in. Time to make a gracious exit.

"1v1 vs the Claw" I asked in local Comms
"Sure dude" came the reply

The Drake left the scene and I warped back in at a range of 100km. The Claw clearly confident closed quickly again, locked and engaged me. Kane being Kane returns the favour, web overloaded, waiting for that magic number to appear on the overview.

Claw is fast, over 6km/s, I'm patient though, at that speed he won't be doing much damage to me. He passes within web range but gains distance too quick for me to react. I make a straight trajectory at full speed, his orbit changes to compensate, I "Crazy Ivan"*, web goes active, distance is closed, at point blank range things go south for the Claw pilot. The cordial "GF" is shared in local as I allow the escape pod to warp out, something I tend to do with arranged 1v1s.

Props to both pilots for honouring the 1v1, I imagine it was difficult for the Drake pilot to sit in system as his friend was destroyed but they both earned my respect for that.

A good end to what had been a pretty bad day for me, as with all things it's how one reacts to loss that determines who he is. I returned to Gusandall, satisfied and in despearate need of a smoke and a cup of tea.

* Crazy Ivan as described in this tale.

So my ISK farming friend, we meet again.

"Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!"

-- Rule One (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

Nothing in the universe gives me greater pleasure than ruining someone's night, especially if it involves Ravens and ISK farmers. With this in mind it was that I sent my covops friend to Ingunn to keep an eye on the locals. Insomnia gets the better of me more and more these days and I need to vent my frustrations in the only way I know how... Violence, lot's and lots of Violence with a side order of Carnage.

My friend in her Cheetah stationed herself in Ingunn and started to scan at regular intervals and it wasn't long before two Ravens appeared on scanner, seemingly in a mission, together. This Intel brought great feelings of happiness to my heart. One of the Raven pilots was someone I had violenced in the past and on one occasion he was most upset.

A probe was dropped but they left system before she could get a hit but it seemed like they went next door to Gultraten so she followed. At this point I was waiting in The Fifth Elephant™, my trusty Sleipnir and the last thing many a Farmer Raven sees before exploding.

The Ravens were indeed in Gultraten and my friend warped to a spot where she could drop a probe and soon I got the call that she had a hit. I warped to the Gult gate and jumped through and entered warp to her position, I landed on top of an acceleration gate and activated it as soon as I could. It was strange that there was no scout on the gate but that didn't matter right now as I was slung into warp.

Bursting out of warp I was greeted by both Ravens warping out, it seems my presence in system was more than enough to spook them. Damn, what now? Both Ravens had docked up, so I left system to see if they would try and run the mission again.

Sometimes my hunches pay off and soon both Ravens undocked, I waited until they had warped back to the mission gate and then jumped in but as I entered my friend reported that they both started aligning for the station again. Damn, I needed to think, I needed to kill and the only way was to recruit some help.

From past dealings with them and a quick scan of various networks it showed that Lang ren had recently been using warp core stabilisers a lot so with this in mind I asked in an Intel channel if anyone with a Heavy Interdiction Cruiser would be willing to fit two Warp Disruption Generators and come play "Introduce the Ravens to their Doom" with me. Colonel Kurtz replied to the affirmative and made his way over to Gultraten while I stayed in Ingunn.

Both Ravens had undocked so I told Krusty to warp to my friend but hadn't noticed the mission gate had disappeared until he landed... Damn. However the Ravens had not left system and seemed to be running another mission so my friend dropped another probe and soon got a hit, she warped in but got uncloaked on the acceleration gate, in full view of one of the Ravens, she tried to bump him so he couldn't warp but the Cheetah isn't very good at that. Both Ravens warped out before Krusty could get there but if anything I believed they would be back so my friend waited, with Krusty at a safespot aligned to her position. Lo and behold they did return and the go was given, Krusty warped his Broadsword in and activated the gate, I had warped to the Gult gate and would wait until he had them both tackled and soon he confirmed that both were trapped.

I jumped in and warped straight to the acceleration gate, activated it and was slung into the deadspace, I burst out of warp with both Ravens engaging Krusty's Broadsword but one thing I know about that ship is that it can take a helluva beating, I locked and engaged Lang ren, he was already deep in armour from Krusty's onslaught, I just added the icing on the cake, he exploded and our attention turned to his friend, who to be quite honest was in some serious trouble, his Raven crumpled under our combined fire and he was too slow to warp his escape pod out, another corpse for "the Morgue"

I was stoked, two kills, well executed and much thanks and love to Colonel Kurtz for the massive assist in making it happen. I headed back to Gusandall on a high, this definitely made my night and hopefully I would be able to get some sleep... But only after the adrenaline wears off.

Insomnia makes me edgy

Mal: (into com) "Wash, we've got some local color happening. Your grand entrance would not go amiss right now."

I'm on fire... I'm on fire!

I have engaged Red Tides once before in the form of a Dominix at a gate... well, to be more accurate he engaged me so I had to return the favour and as he did me the honour of agressing first I didn't have to worry about sentries. His friends all jumped in and it wasn't looking good. Onyx, Rapier & Raven had joined the Domi, my shields had failed, my armour was being torn to shreds, I was venting atmosphere and fuel into space, Karma, my Hurricane was being annihilated. I pointed Karma in the direction of a planet and punched the warp button and much to my relief I warped off. I had glanced at my overview and seen that none of them had me pointed.

A very close call.

Karma was on fire, atmosphere and fuel being vented into space so I docked up and contacted the station's repair crews.

"You want how much?" I said with disbelief
"5.4million ISK for repairs to your ship, not to mention the damage you caused when you docked" said Scotty the Docking Manager
"Uhm... I'll get back to you" I replied

I asked some friends if anyone had a hull repairer and lucky for me flashresh had one. Good old flash, of course he'd have a hull repairer.

I had my deck crew fit the hull repairer and an armour repairer and undocked to let them work their magic on Karma and after a long wait in a deep safe spot she was no longer on fire, the breaches in my hull repaired.

The tide turns

Red Tides had been hanging out in system for most of the day, with some pilots docked and the Rapier pilot cloaked somewhere in system. As previously reported I was doing my best to avoid the various gangs floating through my home by not straying from the station, instead I was hanging out in a bar having drinks with some friends when we were informed about Red Tides activity in Eifer and surrounds, a fight was brewing and Pirates were getting anxious. Earlier four of us had undocked into a random 14 man blob but they ran, scattered like skittles on a perfect strike.

"Domi on Gus gate in Eifer"

Right, a Domi and the Rapier in space, Onyx and Raven docked up. We undocked a few times to see if they would bite but nothing. After about half an hour:

"Onyx Undocked... Raven too, warped to Eifer or Ingunn"

OK, what are they up to, we had receiveed reports of another two Domis in Emolgranlan, possible reinforcements but not in Red Tides. Six ships, four battleships, a recon and a heavy interdictor. We had seven pilots looking for a fight, Colonel Kurtz in a Raven, who from now on I shall call Krusty, WayCharles and Ceraci in Myrmidons, Jaxx Blackfox in a Phobos heavy interdictor, myself in Karma, Daplat mode in his Falcon and deathstar in an Armageddon coming in from elsewhere.

A motley crew if I've ever seen one but a great bunch of guys and I do enjoy flying with them when firepower is needed. Seven of us, six of them, this was shaping up nicely.

Now to get them to engage.

deathstar came to the rescue "Raven engaged on Eifer gate in Gus"
You beauty, good to have you back in the area. Karma undocks into the black and I set warp to the gate, bursting out of warp as all hell has broken loose. Missiles, lasers, hybrid rounds, drones and finally my autocannon shells added to the mix. Raven is primaried, shield tank absorbing massive damage. deathstar goes down but warps back to station to grab another ship. Raven is violated in an extreme manner and explodes. It's absolute carnage as the two Domis jump in, I start on the Onyx, drawing sentry fire in the process, our communication is haphazard. Two myrms down for us at this point but death is back in the fight. Sentries batter my shields and I'm forced to warp out.

There's confusion

"Primary that Onyx, his shields are down" I shout as I warp back into the fight. Onyx goes down as I land, first Domi is next, they decide I'm primary and Ogre IIs, sentries and varying forms of violence hit my Hurricane, shields fail, armour is being torn to shreds, I align and warp out once again.

No shields, half armour I warp back to the gate, first Domi has jumped out, we primary second and it goes down, third course Domi is next but not before we pop the Rapier pilot who got too close. Third Domi is going down hard but he has de-agressed and slowboats to the gate, activates and jumps through, with about 10% hull left, lucky escape. Raven pilot had returned in a Drake but got smart real quick and left.

Ooh, what's this? A pod, the Rapier pilots escape pod is 4000metres off my starboard. Lock, lock damn you before he jumps or warps out. Lock resolves and my 425s spin up, a few rounds and the corpse is freed from its confines.

The field of battle is ours and with it victory, four kills and a pod to our three losses.

A truly good fight in my opinion and this I shared in local. A good bunch to fight as they were respectful in defeat. Turns out the Rapier pilot had Snake implants which brought a massive smile to my face. They'll be back and I truly look forward to it as they seem up for a good fight.

I would later help some friends violence a Raven in Eifer who foolishly allowed himself to get tackled by a friend in a Vagabond but the fight on the gate had already made my night.

I docked up and wandered out of my hangar in search of some cigarettes as I had run out and getting some "air" would do me and my insomnia good, Repairs to Karma could wait for now.

I made a new friend

Mal: "Pupils were fixed and dilapidated-"

Simon: "Dialated-"

Mal: "Dialated! Dialated! Ching-wao tsao duh liou mahng!" [Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng = Frog-humping sonofabitch]

SO I couldn't sleep, my headache getting worse. Earlier, as my day was shitty already, a friend had probed out a mission, my initial warpin was met with failure as the Raven was too far away and easily warped out. Things at that point just weren't going my way.

Lying in my bunk I was listening to music when I spotted something on my local comms net, the Raven pilot was back in system. I slowly crawled out of my bunk and headed to my new Sleipnir, might as well get her baptised. I undocked, hit the scanner in the general direction of where it was earlier and smiled.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

She has such a soothing voice.

I arrived at the acceleration gate, scanned in the direction of the deadspace and my smile got wider. I accessed the gate and was launched into deadspace. I burst out of warp... RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM. Lock, tackle, guns and drones. The Raven was rocking as my 425s launched round after round of Republic Fleet EMP rounds into it's shields, then armour and then hull.

The explosion was blinding, the blast rocking my ship as debris flew in every direction. The Raven pilot warped his escape pod out immediately even as my systems were trying to lock it down. My head still throbbing but a grin across my face. That was a good kill, a touch unnecessary, might have got a good ransom out of him but all was laid to rest by the following outburst in local:

Lang ren > cao
Lang ren > Kane Rizzil cao ni ma (Apparently means: fuck your mother
Aiko Shinjiro > ding dang dong ching dong dei (Aiko trying his Chinese)
Daplat Mode > LOL
Daplat Mode > its a sad day for the lp store
Kane Rizzel > dude, I would never do that to my mom
Kane Rizzel > cao ni made bi, yi zhi zou, sha bi (A phrase in Chinese given to me by a friend but what it says I don't know yet)
Lang ren > vFUCK YOU
Lang ren > ni ge zhu ,chi shi zhangda de (Still waiting on translation)
Kane Rizzel > I learnt chinese from watching firefly
Kane Rizzel > and Jackie Chan movies
Prediction Pain > shen mei ya???

Was entertaining to me at least, it made me feel better knowing I had made a new friend, hopefully he will seek vengeance and bring many of his friends.

Confuscious say...

Harrow: "I know him. And I think he's a psychotic lowlife."

Mal: "And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community."

Evannater was dead, not a soul about and the few that were, weren't exactly forthcoming with fortitude for a fight. I've been in three different ships tonight, spoiling for a fight, Taranis... nothing, Rifter... nothing... Huginn... nothing.

So when I spotted a Raven in Eifer making its way to Gusandall I got on comms and gave a shout to my friend and her Cheetah to get her ass down here ASAP

"8 jumps out"

Come on woman, hurry up, this guy has just gotten started and I don't want to miss the opportunity to explode him.

"Relax, I'm moving as fast as I can"

Sheesh, by the time you get here he'll be done and then I may have to kick a puppy or something.

I had docked up and prepped the Sleipnir, my ship of choice for any mission jack. I undocked and warped to a safe and was pleased to see my friend enter system.

"Probe in the water"

Excellent, now the wait... patience tonight was wearing thin as frustration grew without a kill.

"Don't know if it's just me but this seems more difficult than before"

Aye, I've heard reports of people struggling with probes, hits becoming less frequent, but my friend has all the skills and above all, more patience than me tonight. She had already burnt one Spook probe out without a hit, 20 minutes and nothing, she had dropped another and the scanner revealed that the Raven was still there, but he had a friend close by in a hauler, more than likely a scout sitting on the plex gate. Damn, this was going to be tough even if she did get a hit.

"Got a hit on a drone, 864km variable, will warp in and drop a closer range probe"

Excellent, now we're getting somewhere, she warped in, right on top of the gate, a bit of a surprise and as expected there was the hauler, the gate uncloaked her and whilst I was in warp she targeted and scrambled his warp core, making sure he didn't get away, I landed on the gate and knowing the hauler had probably given us up to his friend, ignored him and warped right in.

DAMN, HE'S WARPED OUT, KEEP THAT HAULER POINTED, I'M GOING TO KILL SOMETHING TONIGHT.

"Uhm OK, but my security status is going to take a hit"

Suck it up, I'm a Pirate, you work for me remember.

I warped out and back to the gate where the hauler was pinned by the Cheetah, I locked and took over the tackle as the Cheetah warped out, my 425s spun up and the hauler was no more, the escape pod warping out instantaneously as the pilot logged his systems.

SCAN OUT THAT POD, I'M FEELING VINDICTIVE

The pod was scanned out in short order and a new corpse was added to "The Morgue"
I docked up, upset that the Raven had gotten away but I was tired and on edge and probably needed a good nights rest, it didn't help that I stubbed my toe on the way to my bunk, Keira really needs to move this loot to a market hub.

You are a degenerate simply

A new day dawns over Gusandall as I wake up, slightly groggy from the painkillers, I check on the local chatter, lo and behold, the Raven pilot is back in system, he's not on the station roster so must be out in space. I sprinted to my Sleipnir, the systems still primed from the night before, good thing I forgot to power her down.

UNDOCK DAMN YOU

The undock was slow, no idea why but as I entered the dark I hit the scanner. The usual junk littering space but in the middle of the scan results is a Raven. A smile lights up, right, this time I'm going to kill him.

"Warp Drive Active"

Those dulcet tones a pleasure to hear. Normal space envelopes my ship as I drop from warp, the gate still there and a shuttle, damn best move quick. Gate is activated, hopefully I can get in before he has a chance to warp out. I'm slung into the deadspace and as I exit the warp I see the Raven, aligning to get out but my lock is quick, my tackling gear glowing and the fight is on. Well, it's not much of a fight, my command ship too much for the Caldari battleship and it's wreck soon becomes a part of the spacescape, these Republic Fleet EMP rounds too much for it's massive shield systems. The escape pod warps out directly to the station and I move towards the wreck to grab whatever loot survived the explosion. I'm grinning, a good kill.

The pilot of the Raven opened up a conversation with me and I think his translation software is slightly out of date, what follows is a transcript of the conversation:

grhuee > You are a degenerate simply
grhuee > 我在做任务也打我的船
grhuee > I am making the duty also to hit my ship
Kane Rizzel > I am making duty for violencing boats
grhuee > I am making the duty
grhuee > Was called you the friend not to hit my OK?
Kane Rizzel > no idea what your talking about, I don't speak English
grhuee > 是英语
grhuee > Is English
Kane Rizzel > No, I only know how to say I don't speak English in English
grhuee > We may be the friend
grhuee > My ships had already been hit by you happily
grhuee > I enter your regiment whether can not hit my ships?
grhuee > hi
Kane Rizzel > ?
grhuee > Do not hit my ships
Kane Rizzel > can't promise that
grhuee > On this time is good lets me complete this duty
grhuee > tanks
grhuee > May ?
grhuee > Calculated that your fierce eldest child I am poor person not ISK
grhuee > Now did not have ISK to buy the ships
grhuee > This is my destiny !
grhuee > bye

I think he wanted to join NovaKane so I wouldn't kill him again, not really sure as I was laughing so much, I considered for a moment ransoming the mission but decided against it as sometimes these guys are dubious at best and no telling where the ISK comes from.

Eventually he left the conversation and I had to go meet some friends for drinks, so I left the hangar, still smiling.

I am Kane Rizzel, fierce eldest child

Oh no you didn't...

I've been very lazy recently, in fact I haven't left my home system in a week but that hasn't stopped the targets from coming to me. I've primarily been camping the local 2/10 Angel complex, greifing two particular pilots who have been running it without consequence for a long while.

Keira however wanted to see what all the fuss was about, why people were so willing to die in it. So she had the hangar crew assemble a Jaguar and went on her merry. She decided she would kill the Gistii frigates that were defending it and on her first run she was jumped by an Ishkur pilot.

"Oh no you didn't"

Keira is experienced and quickly started to move away from the Gallente assault frigate with her Afterburner, there was no way the Ishkur could keep up and Keira happily tanked the damage from his drones. All the while this was going on, I was en route in my Jaguar plex hunter named "Maurice" Keira then moved into an easy orbit as to keep the Ishkur in place for me, she had no tackling gear and needed to keep him interested and she did it perfectly, I warped in right on top of him and the carnage ensued. My lock resolved and dsiruptor came on line, guns went hot and at the same time, so did Keira's. He had an impressive little tank but to the combined firepower of the two Jaguars his hull gave way and a shiny explosion brought giggles from Keira.
I locked the pod and returned the pilot to the clone vats via express.

Keira's first final blow

I would later go on to lose my Jaguar to sentries after popping a Rifter outside the station and hanging around to pod him, an expensive lesson and one well learned, get out while the going is good.

An 8 man Rifter gang was doing the rounds, all pilots from the local Republic Military School and reports stated that they had just warped to the station so I boarded my Broadsword Heavy Interdiction Cruiser named "Guards! Guards!" and undocked. The reason for the choice of ship is that it easily tanks under sentry fire and I would need that whilst engaging 8 Rifters which if setup right can cause a lot of damage.
I locked 4 Rifters and they in kind replied, I opened up and one by one they fell, 4 had died when an old friend undocked his Armageddon battleship and joined the turkey shoot, another 4 ships down and a Rupture undocks and opens a Cyno to allow 2 Dreadnoughts to jump in. The party was over as we didn't have anything available to take on capitals but was fun while it lasted. Got to respect new pilots who come to lowsec looking for fun, it's very rare.

Hours later Keira's giggle broke up the monotony of the hangar as she announced over comms that she had scanned out a Raven in a mission, so I boarded "The Fifth Elephant" a Sleipnir class command battlecruiser and made my way to the plex gate, as I came out of warp so did the Raven's scout and the gig was up but Keira had gone back to HQ and boarded a Rapier recon ship, she would come back and wait cloaked inside the plex, simply negating the scout that would be placed on the plex entrance when the Raven came back.
As always, the Raven did come back, hesitant at first as I was in system and his scout did numerous runs into the plex to see if it was clear, the tension building and you could hear Keira grinding her teeth in anticipation. The Raven came out of warp and whilst under cloak Keira settled into an easy orbit, she uncloaked and primed her tackling gear, lock resolved and the warp disruptor went active, now the Raven was trapped I undocked and made all haste to the complex. Keira was taking damage from the Ravens cruise missiles but nothing to worry about, I even had time to pop the scout's shuttle on the way in. Once I got in and had the Raven locked and tackled, Keira departed, her shield systems having taken a battering.

The mission fit Raven is no match for my Sleipnir and soon its hull explodes in a brilliant light, Keira giggling as it does, she had returned specifically to see it.

Farmer Raven 1

An eventful day and quite satisfying, I slept with one eye open, Keira still in the plex, cloaked in case he decided to come back. He never did and the mission was failed.

A new day dawned and with it the death of another Farmer Raven, with the help of DeathStar, CPT NESSAJA and Keira's superb probing skills we crashed a Raven duo, one was busy looting and ended up on the wrong end of a Sleipnir, Astarte and Drake, the other in the next room of the complex was able to escape.

Farmer Raven 2

It's still early and more carnage is likely to ensue, Keira is busy salvaging the wrecks in the latest complex and will return in her Rapier to camp it