Stained

"What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and *writes* a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Maskerade) 

A nullsec evacuation occurred last night, a somewhat tense affair all be told, I was tired after a long days hunting, a successful day but there's always a chance for one last kill.
It so happened that a wormhole in Ingunn led to the nullsec region of Stain, deep, very deep in nullsec, 60 jumps as the crow flies.
My reason for going in was a Raven appeared on scan and then cloaked, so I was waiting him out. An hour or so passes and the wormhole disappears off my overview.

OH DEAR... Kane has gotten himself into a right old pickle.

The Cloaked Raven reports my whereabouts in the local comms channel but realises his mistake and most likely reports me in his appropriate intel channel, which of course would make things only a little more challenging. So I set about making my way home in my Astero, an uneventful trip, keeping an eye on local, scanning gates for bubble camps, not warping directly to the outbound gate, everything I have learnt in my years of flying through the universe put into practice just to get home.

I remember a good few years back, when still living in Curse with  with my corp Ars Caelestis and Huzzah Federation that I scouted a lot in my Rifter and the childish remarks whenever you'd mention jumping into MY-WIV on a roam.

Some of those systems are big, but being Elite makes it easy

This song encapsulates what being a capsuleer means to me, it perfectly represents a day in my life


Before that little detour through the universe I was treated to this charming conversation after violencing a certain boat doing a mission in Eifer.

At first in the local comms channel:

EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Eifer
Wraithguardstar > AHHHH come on man
Wraithguardstar > just missioning
Kane Rizzel > just pirating
Wraithguardstar > Sadface
Wraithguardstar > really very unnessacery

But soon after a private chat

Kane Rizzel > sup?
Wraithguardstar > so, is threally all that profitable?
Kane Rizzel > yes it is
Wraithguardstar > it can't possibly be as profitable to blow up ships as ransoming
Kane Rizzel > I ransom pods normally
Kane Rizzel > but all loot is worth something
Kane Rizzel > plus it costs me nothing so technically it's all profit
Wraithguardstar > well, how much did you actually just make ruining my day?
Kane Rizzel > I'm ridiculously good at what I do
Kane Rizzel > 28mil in loot
Wraithguardstar > ok, so, you couldn't have just demanded 50mil and left?
Wraithguardstar > i run doofy missions
Wraithguardstar > it's not that deep
Kane Rizzel > dude, this is lowsec
Wraithguardstar > dude, i know.   it's whatever you make it
Kane Rizzel > and I choose to kill doofy mission runners
Wraithguardstar > i'm telling you, you would have made more money, and had less hate in the world, by just jumping in, scrambling, and ransoming
Wraithguardstar > so
Wraithguardstar > you lost about 80 mil right there
Wraithguardstar > i lost more
Wraithguardstar > but you lost about 80 mil
Kane Rizzel > sometimes the killmail and convos like this are worth so much more :)
Wraithguardstar > nah kiddo, they're really not
Wraithguardstar > i'm actually getting my dick sucked while we do this.   what are you doing?  << Oh yes, he went there
Kane Rizzel > ohshit, gotta go, my mom told me to get out the basement
Wraithguardstar > oh no no.  don't misunderstand
Wraithguardstar > i'm saying, we all could have a much better, more profitable time
Wraithguardstar > just think about it.   we could have been pals.  maybe not everybody you've ever jumped.  but some.

 A charming fella :)
  
Another bit of chat colour gifted to me after this little act of Piracy 

Kane Rizzel > sup
Tjundis Laaksonen > Seriously, fuck you
Tjundis Laaksonen > that is all
Kane Rizzel > thanks :)

Michael Harari > i think you should start styling yourself as Saint Kane of Scramblers

Michael Harari > and then tell people to go forth and warp core stab no more

SAINT KANE OF SCRAMBLERS 
February 13 is now St Kane's day, buy your Saint something 

A prized kill...

There's few things a pirate hates more than a mark fitting warp core stabilizers, it's so infuriating when you track the prey down, using all your skill to locate his position, you warp in, prime your systems and poof, they just warp out. No skill, just push button and warp.

One such pilot has been annoying me for a while now, flying a Hawk class Assault Frigate and using the plex in my home system without a care in the universe. Today was to be different, or so I thought. I had a 2 point warp scrambler fitted and was waiting for him but first off I had another slippery target present itself, a crafty Rifter pilot who had up till today managed to evade me at every turn.

O0 O0 had been flying around Gus with a Rifter for a while now fitted with an accursed warp core stabiliser and it was today that I would finally tag him, I have recently setup a new plex hunting assault frigate using the Jaguar hull, slightly quicker than the Wolf, lighter and with two extra midslots which make adding additional tackling gear a blessing. I undocked after receiving word that O0 O0 was in the Angel complex, I made my way there and activated the gate. Bursting out of warp I was greeted by the rifter on my overview and I activated all tackling systems, pulsed the after burner to get in range and went to work, the Rifter is no match for the power of the Jaguar and it flashed into nothingness.
My targetting systems were quick to respond and I locked and vapourised the pod for good measure. I was not going to be messing around today, I'm in a strange mood.

Minutes Later he returned in another Rifter and met the same fate, the corpse now residing with it's clone in "The Morgue"

A long while later my mark entered sytem and Keira spotted his Hawk on scanner in the direction of the plex, with all speed I undocked and raced over there, it now becoming second nature. Coming out of warp in the deepspace my targeting systems lit up and locked the Hawk, quite an impressive tank, it was breaking and then my lock broke as he was warping out.
Double You Tea Effffff

Kane Rizzel > lol, two stabs now
romaan > always was =)

Kicking something in my pod in frustration I was woken out of my anger by a new target on my overview, a Rifter had just warped in and paid the price, it was dispatched quite quickly but unlike the Hawk, it fought back and stayed to the end, respect to that pilot, moreso when he returned for another round but met the same fate.

I wasn't done yet and knew the Hawk pilot wanted back in so that he could finish the complex, I docked up and fitted another warp disruptor for a total of 3 points, I wanted that Hawk dead.
Patience was required and soon I was rewarded by Keira reporting he was back, I was out at a safespot and aligned and as Keira reported him warping to the complex gate I warped in, I came out of warp and locked him but before my systems could get a lock the ancient warp gate flung him into the deadspace but I was ready for this and activated the gate a fraction of second later.
I burst out of warp a second after he did and targeted my mark, it resolved and a Warp Disruptor and Warp Scrambler both kicked in... it's on now.
The Hawks tank was impressive for a frigate sized ship but it succumbed to the Republic Fleet EMP rounds and Caldari Navy Gremlin Rockets.

Don't fit stabs, they make pirates angry

The escape pod was targetted and scrambled and I took a moment to reflect before vapourising it and scooping my prize, the corpse making a nice addition to "The Morgue"

Later on I offered a 1v1 Rupture fight to the Rifter pilot who died due to circumstance in the plex and I was suprised to come up against a nano fit and much respect to kerjin
That's my first 1v1 loss in a very long time and first loss in over a week and I'm glad it was in a fight such as this and not blobbed.

Firetail of Doom

Waking up on the floor of my hangar with a pounding in my head is never a good sign.
All I remember is walking into Independence bar and it all went fuzzy as I imbibed some concoctions which are or bloody well should be illegal in some systems.

The cold hangar floor sobers me up enough to recognize I didn't quite make it to my bunk.
Oh well, nothing clears the head like a spot of Piracy. Looking around the hangar my eyes fall on the Republic Fleet Firetail that Keira bought, the name "The Lost Continent" carefully inscribed on the side. Oh well, might as well use it or as I assumed, suicide it.

It had already tasted action the previous night as I engaged a Breacher class frigate. The Breacher didn't offer much resistance and I added another meat popsicle to the collection.

Undocking and heading to my favourite haunt, there were reports of a Rifter gang in the area, maybe if I was lucky I would run into them.
A Bellicose cruiser had appeared on scan and I quickly narrowed it down to a belt, bursting out of warp, my warp disruptor primed I engaged the Minmatar cruiser. The shield systems of the Belli melted and soon it was in armour. I made a mistake at this point and drifted out of warp disruption range and the Bellicose pilot took this failure on my part as his que to leave, which he did. A missed opportunity and showed me I was rusty, need to hunt solo more often, sharpen up so that such mistakes don't happen again.

A few minutes later a report came in of the Bellicose pilot being destroyed sitting on a gate. Oh well, somebody got the kill.

Later on I spotted another Bellicose on scan, a different pilot but he was accomponied by two Rifter pilots. Oh well, best to give it a shot I thought as I threw the Firetail into warp. Entering the belt I found one Rifter and the wreck of the Bellicose, mmm. Time to crash the party, I engaged the Rifter and pretty soon he was deep into armour. Just then another Rifter burst out of warp and I thought they were together but the latest addition to the tango engaged the first Rifter. The first goes down and it's just the last and I, I naturally engage and soon another wreck is added to the belt. Quickly looting I got out of the belt as some Angels were trying to introduce me to the cold black.

Fortune smilled on me as I got another crack at the first Bellicose that escaped due to my mistake but this time he went down hard to the combined firepower of my Firetail and Deathstar's Vengeance. Satan's Minion lost his pod too for his trouble.

Hanging out in system I spotted a Caracal on scan, he was sitting in a safespot so I would be hard pressed to engage. Just then Deathstar, a pilot from Mean Corpv gave me a call saying he had scanned out the Caracal and asked if I wanted to help take it down, Death was in a Falcon so his offensive capabilities were very low. I of course said yes and primed my nav systems to Deathstar's position. Bursting out of warp right on top of the Caracal must have given its pilot an emergency pants moment. I engaged, Warp Disruptor active, guns engaged, and missile batteries firing, settling into an orbit around the Caracal. A moment later I lost lock and the Caracal warped away.
"AAAAAAAARG STABS" I yelled at no-one in particular, I kicked out in frustration and think I may have broken something. Oh well, I had spotted a Rifter on scan and decided to take my frustrations out on the poor pilot.

I came out of warp right on top of the pilot and opened up with everything, soon his ship was reduced to a wreck, his pod was snapped up for good measure (He was a very young pilot but I wanted to kill something and this is as close to kicking a puppy as it gets in this universe)
Later in convo with the pilot after he recloned in a station many systems away, I found out he had just spent his entire fortune on implants, oh well, I'm a Pirate, not the Salvation Army, I did give him some fitting tips and went on my merry.

Last mark of the evening was a Stabber pilot, I wanted another kill so vectored in on him and engaged, Deathstar had just come out of warp as the Stabber warped away.
"STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBS"
We got a second chance at him but it was futile as the cursed Warp Core Stabilisers would allow him to warp out at will, this time though he warped out and left system.

All in all, not a spectacular evening and the Firetail survives yet another night, wonder how long it will last. I dock at HQ and feel the hangover creeping up on me, probably a good time to hit the sack. I lie down, the darkness overwhelms me and I slink into a deep sleep.
Dreams of space and epic battles take over my consciousness.