School of Destruction

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

This evening I attacked an Inquisitor sitting on a wormhole in Auren, fight swings my way rather quickly, but he escapes mere seconds from death, deep in hull by jumping into said wormhole.

The relieved Inquisitor pilot calls me via deep space telephone and asks a question:

Kane Rizzel > sup
Kane Rizzel > gf
Tul Breetai > gf
Tul Breetai > I was literally having a convo about how shitty the astero was
Tul Breetai > and an astero lands and fucks me up
Tul Breetai > can I see your fit?
Kane Rizzel > lol, didn't even have my td online
Tul Breetai > my corp is laughin at me on comms

By this point I headed to Eifer as news of a Taranis who had just killed a Rifter reached my ears. School was about to commence.

Kane Rizzel > two seconds, I'm after a taranis in my probe :P
Tul Breetai > kk

Kane Rizzel > Kill: organikspace (Taranis) link your corp that (Battle Probe proves yet again why it the best Brawler in the universe)
Tul Breetai > gawdamn
Tul Breetai > lmao can I get that fit too?
Kane Rizzel > I'll dock up and we can talk about the Astero
Tul Breetai > kk
Kane Rizzel > Daniel Trooper this is my basic hunting fit, the td is offline which I don't normally need as I hunt data/relic runners 

Kane Rizzel > if I'm full combat the probe is dropped for a gatling pulse
Kane Rizzel > I dualprop when hunting bigger things for the get the fuck out ability
Kane Rizzel > but that's dualprop, web and scram
Kane Rizzel > dual scrams mostly because everyone and their mom runs triple stabs (seriously, it's getting to a point I may need to run dual 3 point scrams)
Kane Rizzel > so I carry a mobile depot to refit
Kane Rizzel > Daniel Trooper so like this for full combat

Kane Rizzel >Daniel Trooper  or this for kills like this  Kill: Crimson Jackal (Maelstrom)

Kane Rizzel > it's a lot of fun and very versatile
Tul Breetai > lol nice
Tul Breetai > I'm gonna have to give it a try now
Tul Breetai > lol how in the hell did you get that maelstrom???
Tul Breetai > low health ina  site?
Kane Rizzel > he was running gone berzerk with full room aggro
Tul Breetai > well gonna go buy me an astero
Tul Breetai > thanks!
Tul Breetai > o7
Kane Rizzel > no problem, you're welcome
Kane Rizzel > o7

A good nights hunting to be honest and I'm always up for a chat :)

PS: Someone please design me a Sisters of Destruction Logo a la Sons of Anarchy

There was a FIREFIGHT!

Chain-mail isn't much defence against an arrow. It certainly isn't when the arrow is being aimed between your eyes.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies)

Five Rifters and a Kestrel prowling around Eifer, this can not stand, this is my home, my hunting ground and interlopers are not tolerated. Well this may be a bit of an exaggeration as I rather like visitors but you know me, delusions of grandeur et al.

I started tracking the raiding party and soon I got a bead on them, warping in I was greeted by all five of them, Asssassin X bowling in with his Thorax, they bailed like skittles but one got stuck on the end of Asss' and my guns, I quickly started tracking the survivors of the initial attack, soon to find them at a planet, in I went, heavily outnumbered but up for a fight. I landed right on top of them and proceeded to lock them all up, one , two , three Rifters exploded and it was only the Kestrel left as the most experienced Rifter pilot threw valour into the wind and bolted. The Kestrel explodes, the grin on my face expands. Good fight lads.

...

There is a new shiny in my hangar and she was unveiled much to the chagrin of a Hurricane pilot who had the misfortune of being spotted travelling towards Ingunn, he was caught and roasted on the Gultraten gate. In all honesty he deserved to die for the sacrilege he carried out on that poor Hurricane.

So without further adue, I give you "Nanny Ogg"




Nanny Ogg would later see action in the BBQing of a Raven who was spotted by Mean Corp pilots on its way through Eifer, caught on the Eifer gate in Gusandall it melted under the fire of Nanny's Mega Pulse IIs. Props to Sarvic for the tackle and Jorge for the assist.

An old friend of mine was brought out of the corp hangar for a rather tasty treat, Keira was doing some business runs between Gusandall and highsec when she spotted a Hulk exhumer on it's way to Gus, my Broadsword would be ideal for this task as it's beastly tank and infinite interdiction point meaning the prey would not be long for this universe. HULK SMASHED.

...

Then it was back to some hot Rifter action. My covops friend spotted a Rifter in Gus, in the direction of the 2/10 plex, I quickly boarded the latest iteration of my favourite ship, new and improved, even deadlier than before and made my way over. As I burst out of warp the other Rifter was over 100 clicks away and I started to try and close the massive gulf. He did me the favour of warping to the 1/10 plex. Knowing how these things work is key to successful hunting, I knew he would land right on the gate and launched my Rifter after him. As I landed he had started to try and make some distance between us, I started to close and he swung around to engage, soon we were locked in deadly battle. My shields were stripped rather too quickly, impressive damage from my opponent, my armour started taking the brunt of the fire but I had caught up and soon overtook in the deadly race. His armour repairer was working overtime, I didn't even bother to activate mine, such was my confidence in how this dance would end.
Bits of Rifter rain against mine as he violently explodes, he warps his pod out too quickly for my targeting systems. Good fight L Kahn, good fight.

...

There's been a Dramiel pilot trying to farm the 2/10 plex recently, it seems my absence from Gus has been taken advantage of. I decided on something different for this pilot, my Taranis interceptor, absolutely beastly damage but rather like a paper bag when it comes to defence.
Never mind, nothing ventured nothing gained. I knew he came around more or less when the complex re spawned and added him to my buddy list, as soon as he logged into the comms net I was alerted and made my way over to the gate to wait for him. Sure enough in he came and the fight was on. The damage of the Taranis is scary and soon I had broken through his impressive tank but he managed to pull range on me and had started working on my drones. His tank recovered but I was deep into structure, ship on fire and in no way capable of breaking his tank before I expired. I warped out and shared "good fight" in local comms. This is not over by a long shot.

It's 0615 as I write this, Insomnia has gotten the better of me, I have a splitting migraine and it's rather fresh in the hangar but all in all I've really enjoyed myself.

Stay Classy

I'll take those two and... oh bugger... I'm exploded

"It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse."
-- The Four Horsemen of the Apocralypse encounter unexpected difficulties
(Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)

It's a curious thing, space, for all it's darkness and danger, it's unpredictable nature, it's just so comforting. The cold embrace, the stars, the planets, the auroras and flares... Home.

My Rifter, like a second skin, eases into the dark, systems primed, my senses honed through years of training and experience and every inch of the Minmatar starship an extension of my body. It's been too long my friend, far too long.

Moments earlier I was sitting in my hangar when word of fresh meat reached me via an intel channel, two Crow interceptors and a Retribution assault frigate somewhere in Gusandall.
The undock was long, it seems to get longer each time, a trick of the mind as it prepares for what is to come... Sweet violence.

My years as a Pirate make the task of scanning my prey intuitive, within seconds I have their location, moments after undocking I'm in warp to where my onboard scanner shows them to be.
I burst out of warp at the 1/10 DED Rated complex, hoping the targets would be there, new sensor recalibration meaning scanning is slightly more tedious than it should be and it adds even more suspense to an already dangerous situation.

As the warp bubble collapses the targets are exactly where they should be, in my crosshairs and about to be introduced to one Kane Rizzel. Two Crows, one Retribution, a tall order but I have my game face on, a massive grin. I close on the first Crow, all systems primed and overloaded, lock scramble, web and sweet death spits out of my guns. The first Crow goes down hard, his friend closing in to help, he's already locked, bits of Crow are raining against my Rifter as she opens up on the second, the Retribution closing, not much time but it doesn't take long and the second Crow is but a memory. I focus on the Retribution but it's not going well, it has a strong tank and I've taken too much damage, my beautiful Rifter no longer capable of containing the awesomeness that lies inside and my escape pod is jettisoned as she explodes. I warp the pod out rather sharpish, a good fight.

And it was thus I announced my return to Gusandall, my return to Piracy.

I docked at the station and grabbed the first ship I could, an Ishkur assault ship, I wanted another go at the Retri but he left in a hurry. I scanned a Wolf assault frigate in the 2/10 complex and made my way there. Warping in, right on top of him, the fight was on, however I was never able to close the distance sufficiently and as such my blasters were largely ineffective. I was taking massive amounts of damage and I decided to bail, not something I'm accustomed to but Keira would be most displeased were I to lose a rather expensive ship in a brash manner. As I entered warp I thought to myself "Kane you fucking idiot, this thing has drones"

Yes, I'm rusty, yes I'm an idiot.

Still, good wake up call.

I clone jumped to a combat clone, something better suited to the task at hand.

I would later fly a Taranis to kill a few Rifters and a Cyclone and narrowly missed out on a missioning Drake in Ingunn but all in all, I think I rather enjoyed myself and this is a good thing.

I'm still in space as I write this, all sneaky like in my Pilgrim, in desperate need of a cigarette and sleep but there's a Skiff that needs killing.

Edit: I got the Drake, he came back, they always come back.

It's just a bump to left...

... and then a bump to the riiiiaaaiiight

OK, it's been a slow day, between the blobs and general lethargy I haven't felt up to much but when someone reported a Retriever mining barge slow boating to a gate I had to see what I could do... IN A TARANIS.

I warped to the gate and tried to get a good bump off but he was too close and jumped through, so I followed suit. My systems resolved the next system and I started moving, breaking my jump cloak and waiting for the Retriever to do the same, he waited and so did I, the local intel channel was in raptures as the news of a Retriever spread, it seems to be more of an attraction than any capital ship kill as pilots were spilling out of stations from all directions.

Finally the mining barge dropped cloak and aligned for warp, I hit the MWD and made a bee line straight at him, I braced for impact as my interceptor slammed into him, the crunching sound made me wince and I shook the stars hovering in front of my eyes and tried to refocus. I activated my targeting systems but didn't open fire, the gate sentries would tear me apart, instead I went in to bump again, hoping that someone, anyone would jump through and engage him, thus drawing the aggression from the sentries and allowing me to open up with my blasters.

An Absolution decloaked behind me and I was pleased to see the system comms announce that deathstar had incurred the wrath of the Republic and the sentries opened up on him. That was my cue and I punched my blasters, the barge melted. His escape pod vanished in the blink of an eye as my targeting systems were too quick for him to warp out.

I took that as my cue to leave so I warped out and found a nice quiet spot in system to wait out my Global Criminal Timer, those sentries would play havoc with my Taranis so best to stay out of their way.

Not an epic kill in any way but my bump was flawless, the way it was executed had a sort of fluidity to it, strange that something so jarring could be described as such but was vital in the kill.

I eventually went back to Gus and docked up, stars still floating in front of my eyes from the impacts of ship on ship. A cigarette and a drink my reward.

Bubbles

Mal: "Well, you were right about this being a bad idea."
Zoe: "Thanks for sayin', sir."

The dark of space and the night sky over Gusandall gave me an itch, an itch that needed to be scratched. Recent events in the universe have brought about War and the various factions are intent on killing each other. What does this mean for me, well, it means more targets but Evannater was quiet, except for a Merlin I caught in Eifer. With the recent turmoil amongst the factions have come new stargates, opening up new routes into previously difficult to reach places and it was this that had piqued my interest.

I had docked up in Gusandall to fit a new Rifter after foolishly engaging a Hound stealth bomber which didn't end well for me and took a look around my hangar. Choices, choices... I decided on a Taranis and undocked into the darkness. Destination was set and I headed for Geminate but after about a half hour I moved on to Vale of the Silent, again not much for me to engage besides harrasing a Raven in a belt who eventually warped out. Well let's see, Tribute, there must be something in Tribute, loads of players in space in the station systems as indicated by my onboard navigational charts.

I finally get to see some action as I warp to a gate, there's a large anchored bubble and inside is a pod, slowly crawling to the gate. Damn, this was going to be tough, I close the distance, my pulse racing, I start the lock and the seconds pass by like molasses on a cold day, lock goes live and it's all systems go... and just like that the pod is squished. The life of a solo Pirate is all action, never a dull moment. I move on and not two jumps go by when it's action stations again as a Reaper is locked down on a gate, the fearsome Minmatar rookie frigate no match for my Taranis as my blasters tear it to shreds. A close fight and one I shall long remember.

I wander about Tribute for a bit and decide to head back home, making some detours along the way when I jump into a system and as my systems resolve I'm greeted by a bubble camp. A large bubble is anchored on the gate and a few ships are scattered about: Huginn, Wolf, Onyx and Zealot. I'm still pumped up by the epic fight from earlier so go balls to the wall to try and burn out of the bubble... welp... that was a mistake, should have headed back to the gate but nooooo, I'm elite, I can win anything, even a race where I'm dual webbed by a Huginn. The Taranis is a great little ship but it exploded with such force I think I may have concussion but I don't need to worry about that as my pod is still in the middle of the bubble and I'm going nowhere... NOWHERE. Well technically that's a lie as the hostiles who violenced my inty decided to violence my pod too.

Mmm, Gusandall, this seems familiar, what's my name again? Everything is fuzzy.
The wonders of cloning, it hurts like hell though but this new body is great, of course I'll have the headaches again, oh god the headaches but that's life. I could use a drink, being violently introduced to a new body is thirsty work, ooh and a cigarette, got to blacken these new lungs.

Dizzy, think I'll lie down now

You killed a what? With a What?

Early: "You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport. Yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?"

Simon: "What'd he do?"

Early: "Who?"

Simon: "The midget."

Early: "Arson. Little man loved fire."

Mmm, Hawk... tastes like chicken

Sometimes I struggle to sleep, it's a condition I'm so used to but one which nevertheless causes me much anguish. So I undocked and christened yet another ship into my fleet, a Taranis. The Gallente interceptor is quite interesting to me, able to carry two light drones and pack a mean punch with blasters at close range, all the while being nimble and quick. A good all round package which makes for some fun flying. It's maiden hunt would take us to Eifer, my spiritual home.

I warped to my regular scan spot above a belt and was surprised to see a Hawk about 300 clicks below me in a safespot near mine, so I did what comes naturally and started to close the distance. It took me a while as I was just shy of 4km/s in this new ship but the gap was closing.
Within 30km I was lit up by his targeting systems, a flight of missiles streaking across the sky towards me. I finally made into locking range, locked, then tackle range, tackled. My blasters lit up and started to stream hydrid ammo across the void. The Hawk pilot was firing missiles constantly at me, his shields being boosted somehow but soon he was deep into armour. My Taranis was venting atmosphere into space, I had taken an incredible beating from the kinetic missiles. At point blank range the Hawk's structure vanished in the blink of an eye, his escape pod jettisoned into space but locked and tackled in an instant, the corpse joining the many in "The Morgue"

¯\(º_o)/¯

I awoke from a good sleep, that Hawk kill was just what I needed to relax me enough. I had passed out in the Taranis so decided it would suffice for the first hunt of the day, once again I headed to Eifer, one pilot I recognised in system but he's mostly cloaked and doesn't engage anything that might fight back. One pilot did catch my eye, a Maelstrom being piloted by a very young pilot. I decided to go for it, suicide my ship and see what I could do.

I warped in to where my scanner indicated he was only to see the warp trails to another belt, I quickly aligned and jumped there coming out of warp almost at the same time as the massive Minmatar Battleship. I was right on top of him so locked and tackled, my two point warp scrambler lighting up and emitting a soft hum through my ship, stasis web went active, making the bulky ship a huge sitting duck. My blasters went live, Caldari Navy antimatter rounds punching there way into the mighty shield systems. I had called for assistance in a local intel channel, killing the Maelstrom drones while waiting for a response. One pilot responded, saying he was en route with a Megathron, but by this time my small blasters were digging holes into the Maelstrom's armour. With the armour gone and deathstar about to jump in I was in hysterical laughter, the structure was vanishing in front of my eyes, tears rolling off my cheeks as the once mighty Maelstrom exploded. The escape pod made tasty snack as deathstar jumped into system, the fight over and me rolling in a fit of laughter.

The killmail would deliver further laughs as the fitting boggles the mind.
A deeply satisfying kill, an improbable kill, one in which if you asked me before if it would happen I would have said "NEVER!"

Welcome to Heimatar

Sitting in Gusandall station, basking in how awesome I am, I was talking to flashfresh and news of some mission runners came through the grapevine. You could literally hear Pirate ears perking up at the sound. Blood was in the water and the sharks started circling. Covops were dispatched to the system to track them down and soon a small but very deadly gang was formed and made their way to the target system. The Covops were tracking two ships, a Dominix and a Maelstrom, not together but both definitely running missions. First contact was reported as the Domi, the Covops setting up the warpin at the mission acceleration gate. flashfresh gave the order and the gang jumped in, warped to the acceleration gate and waited a moment till everyone landed before activating the gate. The gang was launched as one into the mission deadspace and we were dismayed to see the Domi over 60 clicks away, the distance giving him the opportunity he needed to warp out which he took.

An opportunity lost but the Covops pilot was still probing for the Maelstrom and soon she reported that she had setup the warpin to the acceleration gate, once again the gang formed up and the order was given, we warped in but again the target was not there. Curses I thought but then a curious thing happened as the Maelstrom warped in from the direction of the acceleration gate, right into the middle of the rabid pack assembled.

Muhaar Gemeinian > oh hai thar

The Maelstrom was about to have a very bad day as seven ships simultaneously locked, tackled and opened fire. There was no way he was getting out of this, even when the notion of a ransom was mentioned, the bloodlust was just too strong. The flash from the Maelstrom's exploding hull blinding but the escape pod instawarped as the pilot logged his critical systems to save himself.

The loot was scooped and we waited out our GCC when reports of another Maelstrom running missions a few systems away reached us. The Covops was dispatched and soon she had probed out his mission and was setting up the warpin as the rest of the gang made their way. The pilot was identified as being from Band of Brothers, a tasty victim and one we were keen to kill. Once we had assembled on the acceleration gate the word was given and we warped in. Damn, 70km away but we had a Vagabond and Rapier setup just right to close the distance quickly enough. Once tackled it was just a matter of time as the rest of us got into range and soon the Maelstrom evaporated under the sustained assault. The words of flashfresh certainly ringing in his ears "Welcome to Heimatar" as he logged his critical systems to save his pod.

Oh poo... terhead

I headed back to Gusandall, some modules offline from overheating and in desperate need of repair but as I was en route the rest of the gang destroyed a Tempest battleship on the Gus station undock. I had entered system and spotted an Enyo in the direction of the 2/10 plex, I docked, repaired the Sleipnir and boarded my Jaguar, undocked and set warp for the plex, I was pleased to see that the mark was still there, I activated the ancient acceleration gate and warped in, the mark 40km from me but I closed the distance very quickly and the Enyo didn't last long.

Whilst this was going on the gang had gone to Eifer and engaged a Deimos, I made all haste to join them but only managed to warp in as the exploding Deimos lit the night sky.

The rest of my day was spent in a Succubus, got a few kills in Eifer with it, nothing of significance but did engage a Rapier and Hound duo, who thought they had a tasty faction treat but were surprised when a friend of mine in system uncloaked in a Falcon which jammed the Rapeir, I had gotten right on top of him but ran out of capacitor and my tackling systems shut down. The Rapier took this as his cue to leave which he did, the Hound long having left the fight.
I was kinda upset about losing that kill but you can't always kill em all.

The Maelstrom solo kill from earlier made my day, everything else pale in significance compared to that but a good day in the end. I have a headache again, really annoying so I'm going to take some paikillers and try get some sleep.