The Drones

"Well, 'scuse me. I was jus' tryin' to save the world."
-- Gaspode the wonder dog
(Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

A Rifter and an Ishkur in Gusandall, one more challenging than the other, I warp The Cunning Man to the 2/10 plex and wait.

The Ishkur warps in and immediately locks me up but doesn't fire as I'm about 25 clicks away from the warp in. A quick look at his weapons leads me to the conclusion he is blaster fit, so the plan is this, stay on the edge of scram and web range and kill his damage drones, then close in and start windmillin*

I start to close, but not too much, 10clicks is all I could allow. He deploys a mix of hobgoblin and warriors, tech 2 variety. With overloaded web and scram keeping him at bay I start to pick off the drones one by one, until the last warrior was left, then some ec-300s appear on overview and that was pretty much it.

I'm jammed till the last moment of the Cunning Man's illustrious service to NovaKane Incorporated, I stayed till the end in the vain hope of getting lucky and the ec-300s were defective or something but as is my luck, I had none.

Kane Rizzel > ecm drones were a bit gay but gf
Doctor Genocide > yep, gf dude
Doctor Genocide > ECM drones are fair on a boat with 2 flights of drones
Doctor Genocide > you killed my damage drones
Kane Rizzel > not when you're fighting a rifter :)
Doctor Genocide > lol
Doctor Genocide > true
Doctor Genocide > but hey; without them you'd have kited & killed me
Kane Rizzel > tbh, I just wanted to kill them so I stood a better chance of going toe to toe
Doctor Genocide > AC Vs Hybrid is leg to toe

So ec-300s once again prove to be the bane of Kane, was frustrating but c'est la vie.

Two losses in a row, things are not looking so good at the moment

*Verb; To whirl one's outstretched arms around in a circular motion, fists clenched, with the intention of hitting something (or someone). This action resembles the spinning blades of a windmill.

EDIT:

I finally killed something. So, there's a Jaguar that undocks from Gusandall station, I casually board Flubber and join him in the black. Jag is tough cookie to crumble and it would be tougher still to do so under sentries.

The jag pilot was hesitant to engage, I nonchalantly dragged him away from the station, a bit of lame Kane at 60% thrust. At over 150 clicks off station it's game time. The jag pilot is from an alliance that is well known for not flying without backup, so it was a race against warp speeds for me to kill the jag and get out with Flubber in one piece.

Jag is trying to keep range but Flubber is tricksy and jag can't keep range, so jag dies just as local comms fill up with his alliance mates, a Tempest, two Myrmidons and a Hurricane warp in to our position just as the jag pilot's escape pod warps to safety.

At full thrust it's time to make tactical advance to the rear, a dangerous counter-attack that is practised by many grand armies, at about 40km the Tempest loses point and I make casual exit from battle ground tipping my hat to the combatants as I leave.

The Loss

I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god's will" when granny dies, but they get *angry* when they lose a cow.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

A sad day ladies and gentlemen, Interesting Times is dead, without going into too much detail as the loss is gonna piss off Keira as it was originally hers since about 2007, I bit off more than I could chew as a rather juicy trap was sprung.

To be honest, I should have known better, the baits corp and the fact he was hanging on the station should have had the alarm bells ringing.

Anyways, here it is, a very, very expensive loss for me:

2011.01.10 00:28

Victim: Kane Rizzel
Corp: NovaKane Incorporated
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: NONE
Destroyed: Machariel
System: Gusandall
Security: 0.4
Damage Taken: 43901

Involved parties:

Name: Reck0ner (laid the final blow)
Security: -9.9
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Zealot
Weapon: Heavy Pulse Laser II
Damage Done: 9856

Name: W0wbagger
Security: -10.0
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Loki
Weapon: Loki
Damage Done: 4871

Name: RemyHansen
Security: -9.6
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Zealot
Weapon: Zealot
Damage Done: 4399

Name: Blackblade23
Security: -8.9
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Vigilant
Weapon: Warrior II
Damage Done: 3977

Name: Tankmug
Security: -9.7
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Proteus
Weapon: Proteus
Damage Done: 3630

Name: Rubenson
Security: -9.1
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Deimos
Weapon: Deimos
Damage Done: 3502

Name: cl1de
Security: -10.0
Corp: The Tuskers
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Ship: Muninn
Weapon: Muninn
Damage Done: 2428

Name: ItsmeHcK1
Security: -9.7
Corp: The Tuskers
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Ship: Ashimmu
Weapon: Ashimmu
Damage Done: 2373

Name: Robert Mason
Security: -9.7
Corp: The Tuskers
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Ship: Proteus
Weapon: Hammerhead II
Damage Done: 2091

Name: mazi leigh
Security: -10.0
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Loki
Weapon: Loki
Damage Done: 1977

Name: Sim Mental
Security: -2.1
Corp: The Executioners
Alliance: BOGLYFT
Faction: NONE
Ship: Drake
Weapon: Hellfire Rage Assault Missile
Damage Done: 1462

Name: Ariartus
Security: -9.9
Corp: Gunpoint Diplomacy
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Ship: Zealot
Weapon: Zealot
Damage Done: 1411

Name: Zane Direstorm
Security: -7.4
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Rupture
Weapon: Rupture
Damage Done: 652

Name: lncognito
Security: -9.8
Corp: The Tuskers
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Ship: Rapier
Weapon: Rapier
Damage Done: 632

Name: Kravot
Security: -3.2
Corp: Green Merchants LLP.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Blackbird
Weapon: Blackbird
Damage Done: 389

Name: Asakura Manji
Security: -3.2
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Guardian
Weapon: Warrior II
Damage Done: 251

Name: Waveshifter
Security: -0.4
Corp: Immortalis Inc.
Alliance: Shadow Cartel
Faction: NONE
Ship: Zealot
Weapon: Fleeting Propulsion Inhibitor I
Damage Done: 0


Destroyed items:

True Sansha Heavy Energy Neutralizer
Republic Fleet EMP L, Qty: 436
800mm Repeating Artillery II, Qty: 3
Navy Cap Booster 800, Qty: 6
Gist X-Type 100MN MicroWarpdrive
Domination Gyrostabilizer, Qty: 2
Domination Nanofiber Structure
Damage Control II
Barrage L, Qty: 2000 (Cargo)
Republic Fleet EMP L, Qty: 4713 (Cargo)
Large Core Defence Field Extender I, Qty: 3
Warrior II, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)
Valkyrie II, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)

Dropped items:

800mm Repeating Artillery II, Qty: 4
Republic Fleet EMP L, Qty: 327
Dread Guristas Invulnerability Field
Heavy Capacitor Booster II
Large Shield Extender II
Republic Fleet Warp Disruptor
Domination Tracking Enhancer, Qty: 2
Domination Nanofiber Structure
Navy Cap Booster 800, Qty: 15 (Cargo)
Republic Fleet Fusion L, Qty: 1084 (Cargo)
Republic Fleet Phased Plasma L, Qty: 2947 (Cargo)
Standard X-Instinct Booster, Qty: 4 (Cargo)
Nanite Repair Paste, Qty: 929 (Cargo)
Warrior II, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)
Berserker II, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)

To the victors the spoils, now I just need to figure out how to break the news to Keira

The Gate

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to
(a) mate with,
(b) eat,
(c) run away from,and
(d) rocks.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites)

The nano age of space combat was for some a golden age, an age where you could shoot at will and run away like a little girl once things went pear shaped. It was an age where I flew a Crusader at 63km/s, nothing could touch me and that speed was exhilarating, a drug like no other.

It was also an age of innovation, where new tactics evolved to deal with the speed and ease with which others could run away. You either were part of the problem or you tried to deal with the problem. I could go very fast, faster than anyone else, but what I really enjoyed was embarrassing fast pilots in their fast interceptors in my lowly tech 1 Rifter, which wasn't so fast but it certainly made some folk think twice about breaking the speed limit.

The nano age never really went away, it changed as technology changed and it evolved, but the tactic remained the same.

Now I've seen a few so called nano Ruptures in my time, not my thing to be quite honest but it's sort of like a poor man's Vagabond.

Now, one such Rupture was running the gates between Eifer and Gusandall and because of his speed, was being more than a little annoying to some of the locals. After they gave up trying to catch him, I waited a few minutes, for him to catch his breath, cause that amount of running isn't healthy.

There's only one ship for someone who is determined to run away when the going gets tough, only one logical choice... Flubber.

As my Stabber Fleet Issue undocks, I take a moment to appreciate the beauty of this harsh universe, the small yellow star at the center of the Gusandall solar system illuminating the sharp lines of this miracle of Minmatar engineering.

I punch the warp button to the Eifer stargate and soon, with trails of hyperspace pouring off Flubbers engines, the Rupture appears on my overview, hugging the gate like a new born baby hugs its mum for security.

I make a few runs, trying to get a good bump off, but the Rupture is steadfast in its resolve not to be budged. I lock him up, again, no reaction, until he jumps through to Eifer, I follow and so begins the gate race. He nanos it back to the gate, I punch my MWD and make it back just as he jumps, I follow.

Now it gets interesting for the Rupture pilot.

Keira is in her Claymore, a ship she hasn't flown for a long while, with her command skills, my tackle is huge, like frikkin humongous, the Rupture breaks cloak about 20clicks off me, I start to close, with webs overheated, I lock him up and they go green, slowing him down, but the best is a 20km warp scrambler, which stops him warping away but also shuts down his MWD.

Not so fast now that I'm quite literally crawling up his tailpipe, a good 12km from the gate and his salvation.

With guns spiiting hot death in his general direction I launch some Warrior IIs, to help take some of the sentry gun heat, he reciprocates by launching some EC-300s...

...


...

...
...

The thing about ships that nano it up, they're rather brittle once you break their shields, the EC-300s, the bane of Kane, did not save him, no sir, they did not.

His shields melted and with not so much as a gesundheit, he exploded, kind enough to be slow on the escape pod and getting tackled by moi.

I offer 100million ISK for the safe extraction of his pod, he counters with 200million, I say 100million sharpish, he says 200million, I pop his pod as I'm under sentry fire and he was obviously stalling.

I scoop the loot and the corpse and head back to the station, Flubber's armour at the brink of melting from the heat from the stargate sentry guns.

It ain't nothing but a noob thang

The fight of the day, nay, the fight of the year came about as I was tinkering with Gaspode, my Reaper class rookie ship.

A rather young Rifter pilot was trying to run the Minmatar Contracted Bio-Farm 1/10 complex in Gusandall. I took it upon myself to extract the usual toll of such visitors to my system and I would do so in Gaspode.

I undock and warp directly to the complex, hammering the primitive onboard scanner as I do so, making sure, the Rifter is where he's supposed to be for when the toll man cometh.

I activate the ancient acceleration gate and Gaspode is launched into the first room of the plex, the Rifter calmly going about his illicit business about 30 clicks away from where Gaspode exits warp.

I start to close... Slowly.

"It would probably help if you got out and pushed" I hear Keira half say, half giggle over the corp comms system.

At about 12km I lock him up and apply my warp scrambler magic, courtesy of Keira's command skills and liberal application of the overheating button.

I set a close orbit, no fancy flying needed, as I'd probably have to concentrate on praying, if I believed in a higher power that is.

The Rifter is easily faster than me and even a semi competent fit would mean that even if I started believing in some higher power, now was probably not the best time to not show up and help.

I launch a Hobgoblin drone, tech 2. My two guns launch hot fusion bullets into space in the general direction of the Rifter. He shoots back, repping his armour handily, I start to shout as Gaspode enters armour, the Rifter hits structure but reps chunks of armour before too much damage is done, guns overheating to the point of melting, I yell at the little drone to shoot for all his worth.

COME OOOOOOOOOON LITTLE BUDDY, WE CAN DO IT.

With Gaspode at 45% structure, the last slivers of the Rifters structure vanish, an explosion the likes of which have never been seen rocks the Gusandall sky, like a supernova, but smaller, a not-so-supernova.

I tackle the pod for good measure, send him on his merry, scoop the loot and warp to a safe spot for a well earned breather.

The mighty Reaper victorious in fierce battle. Props to the Rifter pilot, he stayed and fought, even though he could have just hit his afterburner and warped away once out of range.

The Race

The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms)

I'm sitting here in my hangar, leaning back in my office chair that I nicked from some station administrators office, watching The men who stare at goats, a rather funny movie about men who stare at goats

"Dramiel, in the 2/10, piloted by DEATH RIGHTS"

The comm so loud I fall out of the chair as I was balancing rather precariously. I get the boys working on firing up Ridcully, a Jaguar class assault frigate which is rather suited to the job at hand.

Undocking can sometimes take an age to accomplish and it's at these times where patience is truly tested.

Once in the black, I set warp directly to the 2/10, hammering the scanner in that direction, making sure the Dram would still be there. Of course it was, it's a Dramiel, piloted by the most fearsome of warriors, scared of nothing and armed to the teeth.

I activate the ancient acceleration gate and warp into the first room, where my scanner says the Dramiel is. This is conformed as I land, the Dram 35km away. I start to close, the Dram, here for a fight, does the same.

He's quick, very quick and soon we are engaged in mortal combat. He deploys a flight of hobgoblins, they start in on me. Shields holding, for now but he is actively tanked and is doing well against my damage. I overload, his shields start to fail, as have mine, he starts to get range, his drones still on me but I make short work of them as he has now gained about 50 clicks on me.

My shields start to recharge, large chunks of my light armour is missing but the fight is far from over. He closes to within warp disruptor range and holds me in place, another drone is sent my way but it meets a sticky end. He's far quicker than I am, so I need to be smarter.

I hit my afterburners and burn away from him, making straight lines, waiting for him to chase, waiting for the right moment to perform an old and trusted maneuver, the Crazy Ivan.

I gain some range and I can see him make to close, I overheat my afterburner, full thrust and turn directly into his trajectory. He almost runs right into me, but is now webbed and scrammed. I can no longer overheat my weapons as they'll burn out leaving me at his mercy, but I'm firing everything, the race is on, his shields break, my shields break, a Sabre interdictor rocks up, makes my life a little more interesting and I explode...

A moment of worry as my systems freeze up as I try to warp my escape pod out of harms way, I panic like someone who really panics but the lag subsides and I whip the escape pod to safety.

Kane Rizzel > great fight
fukitbucket > yeah good fight mate
DEATH RIGHTS > yeh sorry needed a hand lol
Kane Rizzel > no worries
DEATH RIGHTS > 2006 be hard
DEATH RIGHTS > lol
Kane Rizzel > :)

And it was a great fight, what was probably two minutes felt like twenty. I will never know what the outcome of the fight would have been had his friend in the Sabre not shown up but that's life :)

The Duel

Lancre operated on the feudal system, which was to say, everyone feuded all the time and handed on the fight to their descendants.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)

An interesting evening in which no-one would engage in random acts of hostility*, various gangs of varying sizes up and down New Eden being reported in a variety of intel channels.

A few of the Rizzel clan were off doing other ventures, whilst I and an associate made life more interesting for some folks trying to run an anomaly in Eifer, unfortunately I wasn't able to make it at all interesting as I always seemed to be just out of range as they warped in.

One particular gang caught my eye, three Cynabals, a Loki and a Curse. They flew through Gusandall and left just as myself in a Bhaalgorn and a few other of the locals got together to play host. Unfortunately my character was called into question as I had kindly asked them to come to station to fight.

They all left to high sec space and as I was sitting on the gate in my Ghetto Bhaalgorn, the Loki jumped back in and warped to the station.

With nothing to lose, I offer the Loki pilot a duel against my Stabber Fleet Issue.

With slight hesitation he agrees, after the locals agree to stay out of it of course. I offer my usual terms, for him to form gang and choose safespot, but he chooses to fight at Planet V and advertises it in local. This of course got my Admiral Akbar senses tingling but I had plenty of friends in local who would treat a violation of a 1v1 very seriously.

He doesn't have a point fitted as he asks in local if anyone has one. Voodoo is kind enough to give him one, as he's afraid I might try and run, he obviously doesn't know me.

I'm waiting at planet V as he warps in 50 clicks away. I do the usual Lame Kane™ as I hit my MWD but only at 50% thrust to close the distance. At 30km I'm webbed and pointed.

MWD Overheated, 100% thrust.
Webs overheated, go green.
Scram overheated, go green

The gap closes quicker than he expects with him now firmly between my crosshairs.

Guns, go green.
Warriors are a go.

With Flubber now face to face with the Loki, things go downhill for him, he deploys a flight of ec-300 drones, properly shitting himself as his Loki is about to die but they don't get a jam off as he explodes.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS EC-300s DID NOT WORK AGAINST ME.

'Good fight' is shared in local as he warps his pod out, the duel honoured by both parties and a smile across my face as I scoop the loot.

*not entirely true as I'm always hostile at random

The Bold and the Beautiful

He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk.
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

Yet another vessel of destruction was christened into the NovaKane Incorporated fleet this fine evening, a Machariel class battleship named Interesting Times.

It is a ship of some magnificence, bold lines, sleek, fast and nimble, above all, she is insanely beautiful. If this ship were a woman, she would be Milla Jovovich in the Resident Evils.

A Legion pilot had been loitering between Eifer and Gusandall and General Dogzbody decided to bait the fellow into action. He deployed his Thorax class war vessel to an asteroid belt in Eifer and waited... Patiently.

"POINT" yelled Dogz, after a few minutes "Four-Two, Eifer"

Interesting Times undocked for the first time in anger and warped to the Eifer gate, jumped through and warped to Dogz' position.

"Bloody hell this thing is quick" I said to myself.

I landed about 30 clicks from the action, pulsed the MWD, locked the target, depolyed drones and opened up with some heavy duty ammunition.

I closed the gap at 2km/s, IN A FRICKIN BATTLESHIP.

The Legion wasn't long for the universe, it exploded, illuminating the beautiful lines of Interesting Times, an interesting ship for sure.

I'm also glad to be on the same killmail as long time friend Jonathan Xavier, who made a trip down to Eifer to come see what this Piracy lark is all about.

As a note on the Machariel, I'm not sure I like it.

Why?

Well, it's not a ship suited to my style. It's designed and built to fight at range, on the edge of the action and as such doesn't really suit my 'in your face, bloody nose, in it till you die' style, it will take some getting used to.

Over one thousand theoretical damage per second at 60km is nice on paper to be honest but I prefer the Bhaalgorn.

The Noob

"Idiot I may be, but tied up I ain't."
-- Gaspode the wonder dog
(Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

"Maelstrom class battleship in Eifer, running a mission for Vir Honn"

Good old Vir, always kind enough to throw us some business every now and again.

An associate is immediately asked if she would be so kind as to pinpoint the location of said battleship as I made preperations for negotiations.

Havelock Vetinari, my Bhaalgorn class intrument of destruction is prepped and soon I'm heading towards the Eifer gate, as I land I get a call "Target loacted, warp to me on jump"

I jump in and warp to my associates loaction. I land a mere 19clicks off but no matter, I open negotitions for the contents of the Maelstrom. Tackled, neuted and being hit by Mega Pulse laser fire, the Maelstrom starts to vent fuel and atmosphere into space, soon just a wreck is left as the escape pod warps off.

I examine the contents if the wreck and grab that which is of worth and warp out, content in the knowledge of a job well done.

It's only once I examine the killmail and the that which I looted that I noticed a terrible error...

Seems I grabbed most everything except the most valuable item, a Caldari Navy Shield Boost Amplifier.

Keira is not going to be happy, but hey, I'm Kane Rizzel, even I make mistakes.