"Nac mac Feegle wha hae!"
- -- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)
"A Republic Fleet Firetail you say?"
"In my plex?"
"Of course I'm going to bloody kill it"
News of a faction frigate reaches my ears, the very fact it is from a faction makes it a very tempting target and one which I can not and shall not refuse. Normally in this kind of situation where there are trespassers in the local 2/10 I would grab Maurice™ my Jaguar plex hunter but I felt like playing with my quarry and took Going Postal™ for a spin in the black.
I undock and warp to the gate, hitting the scan button to make sure he's still there, I land on the gate and activate it, get launched deep into the plex and wait the agonizing seconds until I land.
He's not in the first pocket, damn. It's at this point I realise I made a mistake, I had no keys for the deeper plex gates. So... I warp to the station, dock, grab some keys and undock.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Except this time I head towards the second gate and activate it, it launches my Rifter into the second pocket, I don't expect to see the Firetail there as he'll be moving on to the third pocket, I make a beeline for the gate, activate it, all the while mashing that scan button in the direction of the third pocket. He's in there alright and about to have a nice suprise.
I burst out of warp with the Firetail about 40km away, I curse my luck but no matter, afterburner glows as I start to close. The distance closes very quickly as I notice the Firetail is coming for me. Most excellent, not what I would do if I saw myself coming towards myself but I imagine his thought process went a bit like this:
"Oh look, a Rifter. How'd he get in here? He's all flashing red, oh look, a bounty, that's nice, I could do with some ISK, I'll just kill him and carry on in here"
Now, his first mistake was not warping out as I came in, his second mistake was engaging me. This is what I wanted and I think if he saw my mad grinning face in my pod he would have not made either the first or the second.
Once in range of my tackling gear I locked him up and activated the scram and web. Now that he wasn't going anywhere I punched the guns and rocket launcher and they started to have their way with the Firetail. The rather beautiful ship, in my eyes, no match for the sheer awesomeness of my Rifter. The Firetail exploded, raining bits of debris against my hull, it brought joyjoy feelings to my black heart but I was not done. The pod was locked and scrambled and as I was in a good mood I opened comms with the stricken Pilot.
"5mil and you can go on your merry"
"OK" he replied and a quick glance at my online banking showed he deposited the required amount in to my account.
"Have a nice day" I said as I disengaged.
I docked up and got ready to go out, I was going Ice Skating
You wouldn't believe the things I have to do to get a fight?
Had a great time at the ice rink last night and had spent most of the day doing things that needed doing but I was ready to take Going Postal™ out for a spin. I headed to Eifer and warped to my usual spot and proceeded to scan. There was a Rifter about so I started the hunt, I narrowed him down to the V cluster, warped to the planet and started scanning the belts. He was at a safespot as none of my small arcs found a hit at a belt or moon, so I warped to a belt to see if he would try and hunt me.
Negative on the being hunted scenario but have no fear, a Thrasher has warped into the first belt.
This was going to work out nicely I thought to myself, grinning at the prospect of a combo meal. I warped into the first belt and as expected was greeted by the Thrasher, he was 30 clicks away but no bother, I would just mosey on over and introduce myself. I engaged the Thrasher with all the violence my Rifter could muster and soon he was in danger of exploding, it was at this point my cunning plan bore fruit as the Rifter warped in and engaged me.
Awesome, I finished off the Thrasher as I locked the Rifter, who was closing fast, my tackling gear switching to him as soon as the Thrasher exploded.
"Let's dance my friend" I said to no-one in particular as the Thrasher pilot warped his escape pod out of the belt. Rifter vs Rifter, the truest test of a pilots skills and abilities. Unfortunately for the pilot of the other Rifter, mine have been honed in combat for years. The very thought of combat, win or lose is what I live for, the hunt being the blood that drives my heart.
The Rifter hit armour, my shields long ago having been stripped by the Thasher.
"Good armour" I thought to myself as round after round, rocket after rocket smashed into it. This guy was either really skilled or had an oversized armour plate. No matter, more armour just meant more fight and boy was I having fun.
But like all things in life, good times must end and for my opponent it must have been demoralising as his ship exploded in a beautiful firework display, his escape pod being locked and scrambled before he had a chance to react, waking up in a cloning vat is not pleasant but best he gets used to it now.
I scooped all the loot and my trophy corpse and warp to a safespot to wait out my Criminal timer, a mad grin across my face as a cunning plan works out beautifully.
I head back to Gusandall pleased with my nights work, short, but oh so very sweet.